This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

Go ahead, amuse me

 

So, as you know I had this TERRIFIC idea on how to keep the blog funny and going without killing and stressing myself over it.  I was going to put up my “whatever Mom” column on Tuesdays and put up “go ahead, amuse me” on Thursdays.  I figured that I would then only have 3 posts a week (4 I guess counting whatever mom) and I would have more time for my other endeavors which mostly involve wasting boatloads of time on a daily basis.

 

Of course, there were some things I didn’t consider.  First I asked the Bloggess if she wanted to be my first guest.  If you haven’t ever read her, you’re really missing out on something.  She is hysterically funny, or just hysterical…I’m not sure which.  At any rate, i sent her an email which I thought was perfect … and amazing … and persuasive.  Here it is:

So Jenny.  HEY THERE!

Well, i was thinking…well, let me backtrack.

 

I was having a conversation with another blogger today about how I was back to painting and stuff and whether i even gave a shit about this blogging crap since i only did it as a bet in the first place. (Wow…that was an incredibly long run on sentence).  So, where was I? …. oh yeah, and i was saying that i wasn’t really sure what i was doing with the whole blogging thing and then she suggested that i could get more traffic if i’d actually do something, anything really, to promote my blog.

 

So, i pointed out that i pay you and ride your coattails (I have an ad on her blog) and that was pretty easy but there wasn’t any way i was gonna submit and do all that other bullshit because it annoyed me to even think about my posts after i’ve written them as i can barely proofread them, ya know?

 

So then she said, why didn’t i do a link up and i said no way and then we started talking about guest posts, which i’ve never had cuz why would people who read my blog wanna read somebody else right? and then we started talking about a weekly post and i said that possibly if someone amused me but they were hard to find but wouldn’t it be fun to have a weekly feature called “go ahead, amuse me!”

 

Are you with me so far? so then she asked who amused me and of course, YOU DO and not too many others actually so i thought i’d ask if you wanted to be my first featured guest on “Go ahead, amuse me!”

 

Now, before you tell me that you don’t do that i wanted to say that of course i know you don’t do that.  I mean, what a clusterfuck that would be to guest somewhere and then have other people ask you to…how could you handle that but THEN i realized that it could be a win-win for both of us and very frankly nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

HOW IS IT WIN-WIN YOU MAY BE ASKING?  well, very frankly i have nothing to offer you in the way of blogging cuz you’re obviously way, way more successful than me and i’m not going to be successful because IF I ever believed in hard work, that time is long since past…BUT, here’s my offer.

 

I paint (did you know that) and actually, they’re pretty good.  So here’s the deal girl.  I will offer you one of my amazing paintings if you start my inaugural “go ahead, amuse me.”  

 

So, what do ya say?  WIN-WIN or what?  other  than that i have nothing to offer except my friendship and my shoulder to lean on.  That in itself is an amazing thing but i’d do that anyways cuz i kinda think you need someone like me in your life BUT…anyhoo.

 

That’s it.  That’s my offer.  Wanna write a bullshit guest post? Must be funny?  I’m going to have a once a week guest and have THAT guest recommend the next guest but you don’t have to do that because that could be tricky for you.

 

Ok, this is long and rambling and i’m not even gonna go proof it. Let know.

 

K, thanks….Lynn MacDonald

 

And yet, she turned me down.

 

On Sep 22, 2011, at 10:33 PM, advertising@thebloggess.com wrote:

 

I adore you and I would except that I get asked all the time and so I have to turn down everyone because then everyone else I’ve turned down in the past would be pissed.  Because people are crazy.  Not that I can point fingers, because I’m crazier than any of them.  But I’m seriously flattered that you asked and I think it’s a cool idea that you should try out.  I did something somewhat similar with a blog I had years and years ago and it was lots of fun to find new voices out there.

 

So then of course, I had to respond to that because … well, because that’s what I do:

 

Hahaha…thanks anyways.  I knew it was impossible.  Tomorrow I have a post about how I’m going to unionize since I never seem to get an employee appreciation day.  I bet you don’t get one either…just pointing that out.

 

I think I should just become a professional emailer now that I’ve reread my email.  Maybe I’ll give you a painting anyways… I love ellipses in lieu of punctuation…these are just random sentences. I love emailing you though cuz you have a sense of humor which is so sadly lacking in the world.

 

Hmmm…that’s pretty much it. Ok? Perhaps my inaugural “go ahead, amuse me” will be my email and your rejection.

 

Ok, see ya Jenny…hope you get some sleep tonight because it seems like you rarely do.

 

Lynn…and by the way, do you really adore me? That’s so cute…I’m going to use that as proof positive to my girls that they should adore me too :)))

 

To which she responded with this:

 

On Sep 25, 2011, at 9:17 PM, advertising@thebloggess.com wrote:

 

Totally adore you.  Here’s a picture of a panda riding a horse to prove it.  http://pinterest.com/pin/236229452/

 

… and honestly? If a picture of a panda riding a horse isn’t good enough for my first “go ahead, amuse me” what is, right?  Hopefully by next week, I’ll convince somebody to guest post.

Go ahead, amuse me is a weekly posting I will be having featuring another funny blogger.  Or maybe not a blogger … you could just be a funny person.  So, if you would like to be featured all you have to do is email me at allfookedup@gmail.com and send me a funny post.  If I AGREE that it’s funny, I’ll simply put up your post with a short intro that you write so that my readers will check out your blog.  Of course, you also need to put up a link to my blog saying that you’re being featured over here.

 

See? WIN-WIN … hope to hear from you … or not!

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19 Comments

  1. Allison
    September 29, 2011

    Your idea sounds cool. You could add a short interview with the guest too. Or if no one will agree to do it, you could just have a weekly posting of all of their reasons why they can’t, or won’t rather. But if you post one person’s excuse, you will have to post everyone’s! Anyways, people tell me I’m funny so you may find my blog worth checking out. I’m a newbie with the blog but not with writing. I hope you like it, it’s called Role Model. http://www.pullingitoffdaily.blogspot.com/

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2011

      will do…thanks for posting…and feel free to submit a post. i have the first 3 weeks covered so far :)

  2. By Word of Mouth Musings
    September 29, 2011

    There you go – Week One – check ;)
    and I adore you, but you knew that!
    But let’s remember that I adore you and you don’t pay me to be in my sidebar … so The Bloggess is not as adoring as I …
    and I would never send you a panda picture to show my adoration – just saying ;)
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..National Coffee Day. It has its own day.My Profile

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2011

      What type of picture would you send me???

  3. Katja Brown
    September 29, 2011

    That would be an offer hard to refuse – but obviously “The bloggess” found a way to refuse it anyway.

    I like your idea of becoming a professional e-mail writer. Would you be so kind and write an e-mail to our insurance and ask them to refund us the money for the Canon camera that was stolen in Germany????
    Katja Brown recently posted..The role of the stay at home momMy Profile

  4. Dana Strange
    September 29, 2011

    Wow, I am IM-pressed with your resilience! You turned a rejection into a guest post. This might be the best example of lemons-to-lemonade I’ve ever seen! Well played…well played indeed…
    Dana Strange recently posted..Brilliance…. free like library books!My Profile

  5. Julie
    September 29, 2011

    As you know, I don’t blog. I am however working on my attempt to amuse you via email. I promise to stay away from anything Duke-Kentucky related. I hope you noticed that I gave Duke top billing right there.

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2011

      perfect…as it should be

  6. Dorothy
    September 29, 2011

    LOL I agree, well played.
    I love you and your blog, however I am not so funny and neither is my blog. It’s more of a thoughtful thing. Thus, though I wish I could be of assistance, I have to pass. Sigh. There is a reason I read yours and Jenny’s and other blogs, for a good laugh! The only funny stuff I got are things my grandkids and kids did. (eg., my name’s not Dammit! said my 3-year old grandson). Not sure anyone else would agree lol.
    I hope you get lots of guest authors! Good idea!

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2011

      thanks…we shall see what we shall see!

  7. Lady Estrogen
    September 29, 2011

    I love ellipses in lieu of punctuation… is it weird that THAT is what made me laugh out loud?
    It totally was.

    I might send you a post on circumcision or something… ya know… totally hysterical, trust me.
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..Think of me… think of me fondly.My Profile

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2011

      do it….you know i love your humor. Aren’t my emails awesome…i think i’ll go pro.

  8. Meghan
    September 29, 2011

    I adore you too Lynn…your blog is my great pick me up, way better then crack

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2011

      better than crack? wow…thanks so much Meghan cuz i hear crack is awesome!!!

  9. Anne
    September 29, 2011

    I think the email conversation works as a guest post pretty well. Just sayin’….

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2011

      Yeah…i thought it was funny…next week will be a post though

  10. Missy | The Literal Mom
    October 3, 2011

    Week one totally rocked the funny. Can’t wait to see if you get someone for next week. Panda pic = hilarious.

    • Lynn
      October 3, 2011

      thanks…i need an intro from you BTW

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