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In which adults have recitals too

I just got off the phone with my friend Robin. Now Robin is one of my best friends and yet, we don’t actually speak that often.  A lot of that is my fault as I tend to isolate myself when I’m in certain moods but that’s just the way I am.


We had played telephone tag yesterday and finally this morning, we touched base.  We had intended on speaking the night before but Robin had to go to a viewing at a funeral home:

Robin:             It was really crowded at the viewing.  The line took 2 hours

Me:                  wow, that’s a lot of people

Robin:             yeah, it was really long

Me:                  hey, I need you to promise me something

Robin:             what?

Me:                  if it looks like no one will show up at my funeral please hire some stand-ins to make it look like I was loved.  Just bill it to Kevin, ok?

Robin:             sure, I’ll do that

Me:                  how old was the guy who died?

Robin:             40

Me:                  wow what did he die of?

Robin:             he committed suicide

Me:                  that’s awful…why

Robin:             he had really had a lot of back surgeries and he had been very active and for some reason he killed himself.  I’m sure he was depressed.

Me:                  well, I doubt he was happy or he wouldn’t have killed himself

Robin:             I can’t imagine it

Me:                  haven’t you ever felt like “I want to die?”

Robin:             me?

Me:                  yeah, like I’ve never actually tried to kill myself but I’ve had times of depression and low points where I just wish I was dead, that the earth would just open up and swallow me up

Robin:             I’ve never felt like that

Me:                  I bet most people have had at least one period where they just wished they weren’t alive anymore

Robin:             I’ve had periods that I just wanted to leave

Me:                  leave?

Robin:             yeah, just run away

Me:                  oh, like I’m in a bad way so I’ll just go to Fiji?

Robin:             not like that

Me:                  I can see it now

Robin:             that’s not what I meant Lynn!

Me:                  Kevin, I’m  pretty sad so I’m off to Aruba with Robin!

Robin:             Lynn!

Me:                  … or Kevin, I’m a bit melancholy so Robin is taking me to Australia today

Robin:             I was just saying …

Me:                  or, gosh only a ski trip to Aspen will help this mood so let’s go Robin

Robin:             you’re terrible…

Me:                  hmmmm…possibly, I might actually take a poll

Robin:             you know my sister is on a trip to Vegas right now to play soccer

Me:                  your sister plays soccer?

Robin:             yeah, isn’t that crazy?

Me:                  no, I think it’s awesome.

Robin:             I think it’s silly

Me:                  How is that different from masters swimming?

Robin:             once, at my daughters dance recital one of the moms was still dancing and put on a tutu and performed in the recital.

ME:                 are you serious?

Robin:             so my sister playing soccer is like me dancing at my daughter’s recital

Me:                  no it’s not because the recital is for kids, not adults, but the soccer thing is for adults

Robin:             perhaps we should start a new business

Me:                  what’s that?

Robin:             where we put on adult recitals

Me:                  I can’t even tell you how unappealing that sounds


So there you are, we’re going to start a new sort of adult recital?  Are you in or not?  Also, I’m curious…haven’t most of you experienced a down moment where you wish you’d just disappear from the earth?


Also, can you believe the sheer amount of incredible business ideas I come up with?

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  1. Monica
    May 31, 2012

    Amusing post. Count me in.
    Monica recently posted..RedXMy Profile

  2. Valerie
    May 31, 2012

    It would be completely awkward and messy, Love the idea. (I went catholic school for several years, so recitals were filtered and trimmed and monotonous…but they served doughnuts at the after-party!)

  3. Amy
    May 31, 2012

    I’ll go to your funeral and Robin doesn’t even have to pay me. If you’d like, I’ll ask the people sitting next to me on the plane to come as well.

  4. Lucie - Ann
    May 31, 2012

    I have a friend who’s i’ve known since I was 4, I too leave it too long to speak with her at times. In fact I do it with most people. Your conversation with Robin sounds like the kind me and Jess have!

    I don’t think that there is any need for an adult recital as many of the mums at my kids school are forever showing off, and getting too involved – they treat every day as though it is a recital!
    Lucie – Ann recently posted..My Background Checks ResourceMy Profile

  5. Lindsey
    May 31, 2012

    I want to learn to play an instrument, maybe a saxophone or a violin. The only thing that hinders me is the recital at the end of the classes. If only I can avoid that.
    Lindsey recently posted..kings island ticketsMy Profile

  6. Neli
    May 31, 2012

    I’ll remember this conversation each and every time I find myself in a similar condition.
    Neli recently posted..Electric Wheatgrass Juicer VS Manual Wheatgrass JuicerMy Profile

  7. Barb
    May 31, 2012

    I’m in!

    And yes, I have.

  8. Jester Queen
    May 31, 2012

    My husband revealed in my kids psychiatrist’s office that in college he struggled with suicidal thoughts. And he said the same thing as you – that he figured everybody did. I had never IMAGINED that he would feel that way. Never. And I’ve been married to the man 10 years. I’ve never wanted to die. I think I worried a third grade teacher when I was in 9th grade (she was busy rescuing me from having to ride the school bus and get bullied) because I would discuss it so openly, but I never wanted to die. I’m more like Robin. There are times when I want to just go away – and I know exactly what she means by that. I want to just not be dealing with any of these PEOPLE or EVENTS that are stressing me the fuck out. THEY can go right on being and doing, but I want to pinch myself out of that picture for a little while and float in an anonymous zen like state until I feel better. But then, I also want to punch holes in walls, and I really don’t think most people feel that way.

  9. Melanie
    May 31, 2012

    First off, thank you for that picture. I love it!

    I don’t want a funeral. I want a party with 80s music and lots of bad puns.

    Your conversation totally made me smile. I love conversations like that with friends. One of my best friends lives 9 hours away and we only talk every few months, but are conversations are like we never had a break from one another. It’s awesome.

  10. Pamela D Hart
    May 31, 2012

    I’m getting cremated. I told my kids NOT to spend money on a funeral because to me, it’s a waste of money. So I instructed them to go on a cruise and celebrate my life. Or talk about me. Whatever. I’ll be dead so I won’t know or care at that point.

    And yes, I have wanted to disappear off the face of the earth and I’ll bet dollars to donuts there are more people who have thought it too but just don’t want to admit it.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..I’d Rather Scream & SwearMy Profile

  11. DynnaLou
    May 31, 2012

    I just love this conversation.. Sometimes, we can’t stop from making new adult recitals and a lot of people knew about it..
    DynnaLou recently posted..How To Stop An Anxiety AttackMy Profile

  12. Alaina
    May 31, 2012

    I totally get the “wanting to leave” feeling. I’m happy to say that I haven’t felt that way in a long time.
    Alaina recently posted..Hungry Birds.My Profile

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    June 2, 2012

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