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In which all this no-princess stuff is crap


Lately the hot topic seems to be “throwing away the tiara for young girls” and “empower your girls” and all sorts of other crap along these lines.  As per usual, the pendulum has swung, probably beginning with “Lean in” and now everyone want their girls to stop playing “girlie” games and start being more like boys (or so I assume.)


I just wanted to address this because I think the entire conversation is crap, incase you haven’t noticed.  I don’t think what games girls play using their imagination or going through a “princess” phase is any indicator in how a girl will do with STEM topics.


For example, one of my girls was Tinker Bell for about a year and a half.  She came home from preschool, dressed up and stayed dressed up for years.  She’s now in Medical School and graduated with a biology/chemistry degree from Duke University.  The point is, that how your children dress and what different phases they go through, as a child does NOT correlate with how good they’ll be at these topics.


You see, it’s MY opinion that how your child does in hardcore topics comes down to what the parents expect from their children, and especially their girls.  Being a math major in college myself, there is no way that I would listen to any excuses about girls not being good in those subjects.  I not only expected my kids to succeed in math and science but I actively helped them succeed.


I participated in their homework and had discussions of how math is used in the read world.  Just because they liked to dress up didn’t mean that I didn’t buy puzzles and other math related projects as well.  Just as my son did the same art projects that my girls did, my girls participated in the same activities my son did.


The fact is, it has more to do with you teaching your girls (and sons as well) that anything is possible and within reach.  It’s about them having the self-confidence to figure it out.  Nobody expects everyone to know everything but I do expect, and always have, that my children would have the wherewithal to figure out the situation.


Just because something doesn’t come naturally to you should be no excuse not to try it.  More importantly than taking away “dress up” from little girls, perhaps you should teach them how to figure stuff out.  I always found it interesting that when my oldest was playing Play Mobile, it was more about the “setting up” than the actual playing.  To me, it was all about spatial awareness.


My girls played with dolls and also with Legos. They built things; they used their imagination.  The answer isn’t taking away “girlie” things from girls but rather, showing them that ANYTHING is possible.  Many little girls want to be princesses but princesses can be strong, smart and capable too.  What’s the problem with this? Any phase is okay as long as it’s just a phase.


My daughter played Little League Baseball (yes, with the boys) because there was no softball available.  Was she as good as them? Not so much but she had her moments.  It taught her that it’s about striving and trying; not about being the best all the time.


So people, stop worrying about all the “girlie” things and start looking at using real life experiences to teach your kids.  If you think about it, hanging a picture on the wall is all about math.  Take your kids to the tool store with you.  Teach them that anything is possible with enough time and energy.


I think that maybe all this crap about “girl” and “boy” gender roles could be avoided if as a parent, you just taught them to FIGURE IT OUT!  That way, they believe in themselves and all the other stuff will fall into place.


Just my opinion but why don’t you all look at the way you relate to your kids instead of all the stuff they “pretend” to be.

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  1. Julie
    December 2, 2013

    AMEN, Sista!! I couldn’t agree with you more.

  2. Catherine
    December 3, 2013

    My daughter kicked butt at little league. She was better than the boys. Well, she was 5. :) Her dad and I are engineers so of course she and our son don’t want to do that. For now. But they are smart – in math and science – so who knows what they will do!

    • Lynn
      December 4, 2013

      anything they want!!

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