This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which BlogHer TOTALLY rejected me

Today I received the following email from BlogHer:

Hi there,

Thank you so much for your recent submission for the BlogHer ‘11 Voices of the Year. Whether you submitted your own work or nominated a blog post that you really admire, know that we and the entire committee enjoyed reading through every single entry.

This year, we had nearly 1,000 submissions, and I am writing to let you know that we will be announcing the Voices of the Year finalists today, and that your submission has not been selected this year.

Even so, we hope you will check out the wonderful work that we’re revealing today. Thank you for submitting, and we hope you will submit again next year.

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Best,
Jes

Jessica Ferris
conference programming manager

 

Here is my reply:

 

Dear BlogHer,

I’m not going to be able to accept your rejection of my kind offer to be a “Voice of the Year” speaker at your upcoming conference. You see, I no longer accept rejection in my personal or business life which blogging obviously falls under. I fear there is some confusion because it seems as if you have accepted 15 out of the approximately 1000 submissions and I cannot even imagine how I wasn’t one of the top one, maybe two posts.

At any rate, I have decided to ignore this miscommunication and am planning on reading one, maybe three, of my posts at the Voices of the Year portion of the evening. I don’t see where this will be a problem as most of my posts are quite brief. If this isn’t convenient for you, I can go back to my original plan of being the Keynote Speaker. As I explained before, my only requirements for that is a steady stream of Coronas…and don’t forget the limes.

I look forward to seeing you and speaking before your fine enclave.

Lynn MacDonald aka All Fooked Up

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55 Comments

  1. Just Margaret
    July 18, 2011

    Love it! Never take “no” for an answer!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      hahaha…i can’t believe they didn’t choose me

  2. Jackie
    July 18, 2011

    I don’t understand why they didn’t select you! Good job at not taking no for an answer and moving forward with your plan to still speak!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      somebody needs to be pushy, right? might as well be me

  3. Lady Estrogen
    July 18, 2011

    That is awesome.
    When the meek get pinched, only the bold survive, baby!
    Accept no substitutes!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      I cannot even believe i wasn’t picked. I mean, HELLO!!!!!

  4. Cassie
    July 18, 2011

    I get you were trying to be funny, but being a convention go-er (not BlogHer, it conflicts with another convention) – I think this went over the line. Conventions are hard enough to deal with, and neglecting people is equally hard. The people in charge of the convention are getting frantic, the convention being less than a month away, and I find your attempt at humor terrible timing.

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      I believe that the people in charge will realize that i’m just screwing around with them but i do appreciate your point.

  5. Lex
    July 18, 2011

    Loved this. LOVED. IT.

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      thanks…

  6. Sherri
    July 18, 2011

    Oh Lynn, I look forward to hearing you speak!

    And thank you for putting into words what the other 985 of us are thinking…

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      I can already tell that you and i are going to be friends.

  7. Carri
    July 18, 2011

    Hilarious! I want to know if they responded back!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      Not yet…we shall see1

  8. liz
    July 18, 2011

    The commenter who is criticizing you clearly doesn’t know your humor.

    Chill out, girl!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      yeah, i guess she thought i was really going to storm up there and read my stuff.

  9. Name *
    July 18, 2011

    You are so funny, the very least they could do is ask you to be the announcer! LOL And OMG CASSIE take a chill pill girl, lighten up, good grief.

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      Thanks…i thought it was amusing and i’m all about amusing myself

  10. Theresa
    July 18, 2011

    shit I forgot to leave my name in the previous comment lol but it was me, Theresa lol.

  11. tracy@sellabitmum
    July 18, 2011

    Well thanks for making me feel even worse. Small world – I got the EXACT SAME REJECTION LETTER. Here I thought it was so personal and kind when I received it only to now find out it was a form letter and I am not special at all.

    Also, if you need me to hold your mic I am totally on it. Call me Vanna.
    xo

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      hahaha…i can’t believe it. I mean, i WANTED to be the Keynote and they said “no” but to apply to be a “VOTY” and now i was rejected from THAT AS WELL!!!

  12. Kelly
    July 18, 2011

    Ahahaha…I think perhaps an All Fooked Up conference may have to be in the works, just so you get your chance to speak. I’d attend. You might even be able to talk me into actually buying a ticket. I know. You’re incredibly excited.

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      hahaha..for you? i’d waive the fee. see how awesome it would be? I guess i’ll just go out there and remain meek and in the background

  13. Everyone Knows Me Here
    July 18, 2011

    Really, Lynn…what the fook is wrong with these people!!! I know, next year we “buy” you a spot. Nothing like a good bribe to soften up the panel! LOL… Hey, thanks for stopping by my blog today. It was really nice to have you comment. Don’t worry…you’ll get them next year Tiger! ;) Sometimes taste is just in people’s mouths…Now I don’t want to say what kind of “taste” just different strokes for different folks…Crap! I’m digging a deeper hole…Geez

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      hahaha…it’s funny as a local blog is now taking odds on whether i’ll pull a “Kanye” and speak anyways. too damn funny

  14. RCB
    July 18, 2011

    Hahaha way to go Lynn! There MUST be some kind of misunderstanding. There just MUST be. I figure they’re just scared shitless of the idea of you addressing their ‘fine enclave’. Could it be that you’re just too damned un-PC, too up-front-in-the-face? I for one can’t wait to watch their faces on YouTube or at the cinema, of course. (Think big!)

    – Thumbs up from across the Atlantic!

    P.S. Why doesn’t the world co-operate, right? http://rcbenglishclass.blogspot.com/2011/07/still-loving-holiday-i-didnt-get.html

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      hahaha…i do think i’m too “in your face” for them and actually, for a LOT of people. i just thought it was FUNNY response personally

  15. Leigh Ann
    July 18, 2011

    “planning on reading one, maybe three, of my posts…” Oh my God I am rolling! This is so funny. And seriously, that commenter needs to take a quarter and buy a sense of humor!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      i know right? they were getting so uptight

  16. Amy
    July 18, 2011

    bahahahahaha….this is awesome! Do it! I double dog dare you….

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      well, that would require quite a few mojitos first…maybe it’ll happen after all

  17. gigi
    July 18, 2011

    Preach it, Lynn!!! I got that rejection too. What if all of us rejects stormed the stage in a fit of fury and demand our pieces be read?!

    Lame, BlogHer! Lame!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      That…would be hilarious. Not sure they’d be amused though

  18. You my dear? Are a very funny lady!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      Awww…thanks. I appreciate it

  19. Rachael
    July 18, 2011

    So, I am not going to BlogHer but I will be at the San Diego Airport on the 3rd and 6th because I “get” to go to LegoLand with my 6 year old. Will you hold a reading at the airport on either of these days? Cuz that would be AWESOME! And if you say no, I will not accept your no!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      Sure! I’ll make a detour to the airport. That’ll be so much more fun than hanging by the pool or at the bar!

      • Rachael
        July 18, 2011

        Almost as fun as LegoLand! In August, with a six year old. Ok, look for me. I will be the haggard mom being pulled by daughter to baggage claim while trying to find the pool and the bar.

  20. Name *
    July 18, 2011

    Excellent. I am more than willing to be part of a Greek Chorus miming behind you. Sounds like fun.

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      Ok…we will practice on Friday

  21. Jessica
    July 18, 2011

    Fook them Lynn!! You know this is clearly an error, and I think that you will be receiving an apology letter and maybe even one of those lame little flower basket made of fruit from them very shortly to let you know how sorry they are for the error. Either that, or they are saving your blog for VOICE of the year and the other 15 nominees are merely your backups ;-) I can’t wait to hear their response, this is great!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      Thanks

  22. Lynn,

    I say you start a whole convention called Voices of the Year and it’s just YOU reading stuff using different voices! People can even submit things they’d want you to read. Like you can read something in your “MOM” voice and then your “WTF” voice.

    Forget the convention, make it a road show! Like a 10-city tour!

    Who needs to be a Keynote when you’ve got a 10-city tour. Besides you’ll be to busy.

    • Jessica
      July 18, 2011

      I love Sara’s idea! I would be first in line for tickets to the Voices of the Year via Lynn! You better be coming to Denver!

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      This is a great idea!!! We are working on our voices even as we speak

  23. By Word of Mouth Musings
    July 18, 2011

    If you spend the first night I am with you reading me all the damn stuff I have already read on your blog – we will both need more than two mojitos.
    See you in just over two weeks Little Miss Sunshine, bring your hollow legs – you are partying with me;)

    ps. since you sent them like a 100 posts, and others probably sent out like ten … maybe they pulled them out of a hat ;) Moi, well, I was not organised enough to send any ;)

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      Well. I’ll be there on Wednesday, won’t you? Not to worry. I’m all about new material…

  24. Jenni Chiu
    July 18, 2011

    I shall slip you the mic at the Keynote. I will also act act as your bodyguard for when they try to manhandle you off the stage. I’m seven months pregnant and BIG, and unable to imbibe alcohol- they don’t stand a chance.
    PS- Don’t tell anyone of this plan.

    • Lynn
      July 18, 2011

      It’ll be our little secret! Hahaha

  25. Don E. Chute
    July 19, 2011

    You go girl…It’s obvious to me [a him] that BlogHer is all Fooked Up :)

    Go-Conquer-Take No Prisoners!

    I’m All Fooked Up for ya Lynn :)

    Aloha FSSF!

    • Lynn
      July 19, 2011

      Hahaha..you are my biggest fan. Thanks for the approval

  26. Minka
    July 20, 2011

    While I am a fan of BlogHer, I am a bigger fan of thou. (like how I fucked up that whole “old english” thing? Would “thine” have been more correct?) And they kinda lost a bit of my respect with that whole “we and the entire committee enjoyed reading through every single entry.” Seriously? There wasn’t a clunker in the bunch? Some deluded blogger, like, ahem, myself perhaps…, with some inflated sense of self-worth, some misguided judgment of their talents that led them to submit a post? C’mon now… “You’re all so fabulous” totally removes credibility.

    If someone rejects me, can’t they at least be fucking sincere? Hear that, people? If you’re gonna reject someone, at least show some balls.

    You have my vote, Lynn! They don’t deserve you.

    • Lynn
      July 20, 2011

      I agree…I read some of the “accepted” entries and while I agree, the likes and dislikes are subjective, I did notice a hell of a lot “name” bloggers who are speaking.

      Oh well, I never win when those type of games are involved. No worries, I’ll have fun anyways I’m sure!

  27. Name *
    July 23, 2011

    As a non-convention go-er, I have utter respect for your letter and spunk. In fact, I’m converting to a convention go-er (what a title for my resume) but only for the duration of time you’ll be at the podium. Please let me know.
    Cheers.

  28. Meghan @JaMonkey
    July 24, 2011

    this is great Lynn!

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