This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
It all started with the ice cream.
Well, it all started with the frozen yogurt.
Maybe it all started with the brownie with the ice cream and fudge on top
Actually, it all started 23 years ago when Keely Rae MacDonald was born.
Is that confusing?
Let me clear that up.
Last night, Kevin and I took Keely out to dinner for her 23rd birthday. She was born on October 17, 1989 and as you may recall, the earth went crazy and there was a huge earthquake. That, however, is NOT a part of this story. It is a fact though.
So we went out to dinner at the restaurant of Keely’s choice and had our dinner. What we had was unimportant. The important thing to note was that Keely wanted ColdStone Ice Cream for dessert. We don’t normally go to ColdStone, we normally go to Taste, which is a frozen yogurt place, but this was her birthday so we agreed.
Well, not completely agreed. Since we had two cars (we met Kevin at the restaurant) I agreed that Kevin would go home (he had some business calls to make) and I would take Keely to ColdStone to get her ice cream and I would then swing by the frozen yogurt place to get what Kevin and I wanted.
Why you might say? Well these two places weren’t far apart and I’m not a big ColdStone fan because it’s so damn sweet.
That was the plan UNTIL the waiter brought over a brownie with ice cream and fudge on top. Of course, we had no choice but to eat it but between the three of us it was barely adequate.
I then decided to bag the froyo and just go to ColdStone. After all, any attempt at being healthy was already laughable at this point. Now I know what Kevin likes at froyo but not necessarily at ColdStone.
Me: so what flavor do you want?
Kevin: you know what I like? (That’s his first mistake)
Me: I know but just humor me
Kevin: I like caramel and stuff … you know
So Kevin left and Keely and I went to ColdStone to get the ice cream. Now I haven’t been to ColdStone in years but they mix in toppings and you create what you want. Keely knew immediately what she wanted but I was looking at the specials for Kevin.
Me: how about that? It’s sweet ice cream with caramel and fudge and stuff
Keely: I don’t know. Does daddy like sweet ice cream?
Me: I have no idea what sweet ice cream is. Hey how about that one?
Keely: it says caramel yogurt with Butterfinger and more caramel
Me: that sounds good
Keely: does daddy like Butterfinger?
Me: sure he does…he gets it all the time at Taste yogurt
Keely: he does?
Me: … but lets get him vanilla with caramel and Butterfinger
So we placed our order (I got coffee ice cream) and we brought it home. Keely and I had finished ours in the car but Kevin got down to business.
Kevin: what the hell is this combo?
Me; its vanilla with Butterfinger and caramel
Kevin: it’s ridiculously sweet and why did you get me Butterfinger?
Me: you love Butterfinger
Kevin: I NEVER eat Butterfinger
Keely: I told you mom
Me: are you kidding me Kevin?
Kevin: we’ve been married 25 years and you never even know what I like!
NOT COMPLETELY TRUE BY THE WAY
So we were watching some TV and every 5 minutes or so Kevin would say to Keely, “Hey, why don’t you get your mother to get you some Butterfinger or something else that you don’t EVER eat Keely?” and I was finally like:
Me: that’s bullshit
Kevin: what’s bullshit?
Me: when we went to taste you almost always have vanilla with Reese’s Cup but there was this one period where instead of Reese’s you put in Butterfinger. That’s why I surprised you with Butterfinger because Reese’s doesn’t go with caramel
Kevin: It wasn’t Butterfinger, it was Baby Ruth
Me: what was?
Kevin: I was putting Baby Ruth in the vanilla. That way it’s like a turtle sundae with the caramel
Me: Baby Ruth? OMG…you’re right it was Baby Ruth
Kevin: yeah I know I’m right. I never eat Butterfinger
Me: Butterfinger is awesome. Why don’t you eat Butterfinger?
Kevin: it’s too damn sweet
Me: now it all makes sense. You’re right. It was Baby Ruth. Hmmmm … well that’s an easy mistake. Everyone makes that mistake
Kevin: no Lynn, not everyone makes that mistake
Me: well here’s what happened
Keely: this ought to be good
Me: back when we were kids on Halloween, you’d get all these fun size candies and you’d toss out all the Brachs and Smarties and what you’d keep is all the Baby Ruth’s and Butterfingers along with Snickers and Milky Way’s
Kevin: and Three Musketeers
Me: no I never really liked them much … but anyways, Baby Ruth and Butterfingers were like “best fiends” and they both start with b so that’s a pretty easy mistake anyone could make
Kevin: let me get this straight “Baby Ruth and Butterfinger” are best friends so that’s why you got Butterfinger instead of Baby Ruth and completely ruined my ice cream
And then Keely and Kevin exchanged that look. You know, the headshaking, long on patience, long suffering member of my family look.
But don’t you agree? Anyone could make that mistake.
Kevin: (sadly to Keely) it’s like that chocolate milkshake all over again
But THAT is a story for another day.