This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
First of all, I’m sorry that I haven’t written a post since I left for California. Second of all, why the hell isn’t autocorrect working on this stupid Pages App on this iPad? Do you have any idea of how reliant I am on autocorrect at this point? I don’t even use the shift button for i’s anymore because I usually don’t need to but they still small here.
Also the word teh didn’t turn into the which is downright infuriating.
Nonetheless, I shall endeavor to write a post. I’m sitting on Delta Flight 369 from LAX to ATL (LA to Atlanta) and I just wanted to tell you how stupid the boarding procedure is.
I’m sitting in seat 22D which is an aisle seat in the Economy Comfort section of the plane. For this dubious honor, I actually paid extra money to have extra legroom. Are you with me so far?
Meanwhile, across from me in 22A,B,C are two kids (a girl and an obnoxious boy who keeps picking on her while her grandmother ignores them and I struggle to stay mute) and the aisle seat is apparently supposed to be occupied by a stranger.
The grandmother is standing waiting for the owner of 22C to show up to see if they will switch seats with her because apparently she’s supposed to sit with the grandfather in 20A. Both 20A and 22C are also Economy comfort.
Here’s where it goes haywire. So this woman is waiting and waiting for the seat occupant to show (of course she is literally the last person to board on the plane) to see if they can switch. A man gets on and offers to switch seats with her but he’s seated in the back. ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK.
Now obviously that’s not going to be helpful but the moronic steward is so anxious to get everyone seated that he tells the guy to “just sit down in 20A.”
First, he didn’t pay for the upgrade and second how does that possibly help? Meanwhile, it doesn’t matter yet because the true owner hasn’t boarded. Except then she did and now her seat is occupied and also the grandmother’s seat is occupied by the guy from the back. IT’s so obvious that all they have to do is boot the guy from the back out of the seat but do they do this?
NO. THEY. DON’T.
Instead they tell the new woman to take her s3eat (next to the kids) and tell the grandma to “find a seat anywhere.” This makes absolutely no sense but the grandmother finds a seat (on this supposedly full flight) and everyone is happy although I”m kind of ticked that the guy from the back got to sit there for no apparent reason.
Then another steward comes up and asks what happened to the person who was supposed to be in the empty seat that the grandmother is currently sitting in (like she has a clue and I’m struggling not to tell Delta that their boarding procedures are incredibly stupid) and then it all just continues.
So now the stranger is with the kids and the grandmother is in another seat and the grandfather is seated with the man from the back and i’m writing this post with no autocorrect and according to the pilot, we’re pushing back.
Oh great, apparently theirs no air flow because an engine wouldn’t start. IS that a problem???
Once we’re in the air i suppose the stranger and grandma will exchange seats since the poor stranger just got off a 14 hour flight from Sydney Australia and all will be right in the world.
Well, unless the non working engine falls off and i die but if you’re reading this I guess that didn’t happen right?