This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which disaster struck


This was written a month ago but I still think it’s pretty funny so I’m going with it. So don’t spaz about the timeline. OK?

I tend to write these entries when I come home from the gym. My body is humming on the perfect concoction of caffeine, Ritalin and adrenaline. Everything seems to flow and usually I spend the entire Spin class thinking of what I want to write so by the time I walk in, I’m wired and ready to go.

Today, however, disaster struck. Things started out well enough. I was pretty psyched to be posting my brother’s eulogy he wrote for my mom. (Published September 9 if you want to read it) I think it’s one of the most beautiful things ever written and it makes me remember my mom, but in a good way. So I was happy. The class was great and if I had some electrodes wired into my brain, I think about 10 of these entries would have been written in about 50 minutes. Yes folks, I’m that vapid!

But alas, the good times were not here for long. When I arrived home, I realized that I had LOST MY iPad!!! I was freaking! I searched my car from high to low and then called the gym to see if they had I; nope, no sign of my iPad. I get in the car and retrace my steps trying to remember what I had done with the damn thing. I remember putting it in my spin bag for the duration of the class. Why did I even have it there you might be asking yourself? Just in case I didn’t feel like spinning and I wanted to do the recumbent bike or something, that’s why. At any rate, it was in my spin bag and I remember taking it out … and then what? I HAVE NO CLUE!! I thought it was on the front seat of my car, but no. It’s not at the gym … where is it? I get in my car and drive back up to the gym, scanning the road to see if there is a shattered iPad anywhere. No sign of it. SHIT. Somebody must have it but it’s a tiny gym, who would take it? WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER?

No sign in the parking lot, I don’t see it in the gym. Where the hell is it? Now, I got the thing on my birthday in June so I haven’t had it long, but it sure as hell is full of login codes and passwords. Now, I’m freaking and even worse … I’m drawing even closer to having to CONFESS to Kevin that I lost it. So, I’m not so happy. I go home and call Apple to see if there’s a way to track it down. “Do you have Mobile Me?” they ask. “Nope” I reply, “I didn’t want another email address”. “Well, basically you’re screwed” is the response. Oh no, no choice. I dial Kevins’ number.

I confess to Kevin … long silence … even longer silence. “Well Lynn, there’s nothing to be done about it now”. Boy do I feel like shit. Thank god I have a shrink appointment because I feel myself slipping over the edge. I decide to stop by the gym one last time. I mean, I’m practically going past it anyways on the way to my appointment.

I go to where I had sat down to change my shoes, start looking around and THERE IT IS!! My iPad. Like a chameleon, its black cover is blending into the black wall. I’m so happy. Life is good again. Yes folks, I have it back. My passwords and logins are intact. Kevin might not divorce me now. Life is looking up!

Such is the chaotic life of a person with absolutely no short term memory, severe ADD, throw in a helping of OCD and a touch of manic depression and you have an INCREDIBLY FUCKED UP MORNING. So tell me, how was your day?

At any rate, now things are good although I can’t remember any of the things I wanted to tell you. Hopefully, during the next class they will come back. Right now I’m just going to cuddle with my iPad and call it a day!

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One Comment

  1. Nicki
    October 27, 2010

    I accidentally wrote "orgasm" instead of "organism" in my psych notes today. mind may be blamed for wandering as well!

    So glad you found it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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