This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which EVERYTHING is like high school … even blogging

So I’m writing this post on the one-year anniversary of my blog.  I have no goals left and I’m not sure what to do.  I do have posts all the way through this week however, so NOT TO WORRY!

 

I’m not planning on quitting because I’ve actually had a pretty fun time blogging, writing, meeting people and most especially, going to the conferences.  Although normally I’m not a huge fan of large packs of women, I have found myself enjoying these get-togethers on many levels.

 

Initially, I went with some friends from home and what I discovered was that I didn’t know shit.  Eventually, I started making my own friends and picking and choosing which sessions I went to.  Although many of the sessions on community building and monetizing are interesting, I have no desire to have a community.  After all, if I could figure out a way to get rid of my family I’d probably be doing that already.  Why the hell would I want to deal with even more people?

 

No, what’s interesting to me is WATCHING the other women.  You see people, although there are constantly posts on “How Blogging is NOT like high school,” you are WRONG.  Why are you wrong?  Because EVERYTHING is like high school.  Life is like high school.  The only thing that changes is YOU!!

 

In high school, the popular people are pretty and fun but more importantly, they’re CONFIDENT.  As you grow up, hopefully you get more confident and you can navigate the games easier.  The popular people are still there, it’s just that you either don’t care anymore or they don’t intimidate you.

 

When I was in high school, I wasn’t popular.  I wanted to be; desperately!  But I never was.  I hung out on the outskirts of that crowd, going to their parties, being in their clubs, all sorts of things but I was NEVER one of them.  I was too smart, too independent, and too quirky!  It took me years to realize that to be popular you had to conform, to fit in.  I just wasn’t willing to do that.

 

So what changed?  I realized that I LIKED who I was and I didn’t want to be like others.  Just because people did or said something didn’t mean that I wanted to.  I choose my path and for better or worse, I’ve walked it.

 

So, back to blogging.  There are many “BIG” bloggers out there.  They don’t have to play the game.  They don’t Retweet, they don’t suck up, they don’t conform.  Then there are tons of little bloggers out there, all looking to move up the ladder.  In the middle, there are bloggers who have thousands of followers and they’d like to become bigger.

 

So, how do they achieve that?  By being “friends” with other like minded women.  Retweeting their stuff whether they agree or not, acting like they’re pals.  Truly, some of these relationships are deep and abiding but MANY are based on a platform of bullshit.

 

I’ve seen people tweet out stuff like “I absolutely loved your panel” to a large blogger when they weren’t even IN THE PANEL.  How do I know that?  Because I was in the panel and they were in a different one.

 

So, it’s like a chess game; whom should I “befriend” now? Who will feature me on their blog? How can I gain new readers?  I mean, I get it; many people need to make money from blogging and the only way to do that is to up the page views. But honestly, the only way to stand out is to be YOURSELF and how can you do that if you’re constantly trying to be what is expected of you?

 

But from the outside, it’s fun.  I’ve talked to people beforehand who say things like “I can’t wait to meet you” but when I meet them, they ditch me instantly because they see somebody else who’s more “important” than me. (As if such a person exists)  Then later, they were all like “we never really got a chance to chat!” as if that situation wasn’t completely of their own doing.

 

Here’s another thing I found hilarious.  Tweeting out pictures of “I met so-and-so” or writing a blog post on meeting “their hero.”  These people are bloggers, not heroes.  The only reason you’re writing a post is so that you can TAG them and then hopefully get SEO hits. (Didn’t I tell you I learned lots of shit there?)  It’s completely ridiculous.

 

Well, this is probably offending lots of people but I really don’t give a damn.  I’ve met some very interesting people through blogging.  Whenever I meet people they say, “You’re exactly like you are on the blog” and what I usually want to say is “you aren’t!”

 

Be yourself!  After all, if you don’t like you don’t expect me to.

 

I’m just saying…

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92 Comments

  1. Katja Brown
    August 19, 2011

    Referring to your statement “you can TAG them and then hopefully get SEO hits.” What exactly do you mean by that? I don’t know how to tag – maybe you could share some of the wisdom that you learned at the conferences?

    Also, explain what SEO hits are please!

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Let’s schedule an appt

      • Katja Brown
        August 19, 2011

        Sounds good! Anytime after next Thursday, 8/25!

  2. Name *
    August 19, 2011

    Yeah, Lynn, I know, I know.

    But as my husband says, “why should the blogging world be any different from the real world.”

    I met some wonderful, wonderful, extremely kind people.

    And to be able to be among those who get blogging, and talk about it: so awesome.

    For a wonderful POV, read @schmutzie ‘s “If your internet is full of assholes, it’s your fault.”

    I loved what she had to say. And by the title, I’m not calling you or anyone else an asshole, I’m just letting you know her exact post title.

    I think you’ll enjoy reading it.

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Thanks! I’ll check it out…funny title. I don’t think my Internet is full of asshole and even if it were, sometimes they’re the most entertaining!

  3. By Word of Mouth Musings
    August 19, 2011

    LOL, as my oldest says, ‘why try and fit in, when you were born to stand out’.
    Fortunately for me, you do just that and I met you and all your standoutedness. I will take you and your brutal honesty any day over someone who stops by my blog to tell me how wonderful i am – but meeting in real life is busy looking over my head to see if there is someone of more bloggy value to speak too …
    When I mention bloggers by name my friends and family around me have no idea who i am talking about, its a healthy reminder that these ‘big’ bloggers are usually just mom’s like me, escaping into their screens for a while. If they are really lucky – they may find friends that are real …
    ps. i will not allow my internet to be full of *ssholes …
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Down the AisleMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      You da best!!! I’m so glad we are friends and I can’t wait to meet these kids I hear so much about!!!!

  4. Monty
    August 19, 2011

    Happy anniversary! Hope you have a great day. I remember that you sure could swim!

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      still can…just not that fast

  5. Periwinkle Papillon
    August 19, 2011

    Dear Blogging Sophomore A.F.U,
    Happy blogoversary or whatever we call it.
    I am NOT sucking up here but I seriously DID enjoy this post, and I probably will retweet it.

    I thought the beginning of this post was interesting where you mentioned you had goals for your blog and now you don’t. Just curious if you will set new ones. I’m totally interested because my goals are constantly re-prioritizing before I actually accomplish any of them so I’m hoping you’ll share. Again I’m TOTALLY not sucking up here, just curious, really.

    And for the record I really did enjoy meeting you (I saw you a few times through out the conference) BUT again I’m NOT sucking up.

    So happy blogoversary from a peon in the blogging circle of life.
    Freshman blogger, Sara @ Periwinkle Papillon

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      First of all, anyone who reiterates that they’re NOT sucking up is OK on my book. Second of all, there’s no reason to suck up to me cuz I have no pull whatsoever. Third, I met you a billion times so OF COURSE I totally remember you and (wait! What number am I on) fourth, I’m not sure what to do now that I’ve achieved my goal.

      I probably only made it this far cuz my kids pissed me off. I will have to think of a goal I suppose, after all, I already bought a ticket for next August so i better have a blog, right?

      I enjoyed meeting you too BTW. Let’s be pals!!!

      • Sara @ PeriwinklePapi
        August 19, 2011

        Goal idea: To get corporate sponsorship by top-shelf tequila brand and then give all product giveaways to Periwinkle Papillon.
        Sound good. M’kay… ready go!

        • Lynn
          August 19, 2011

          you are too funny! i just wrote a post about your last comment…not that you’re sucking up.

  6. gramps
    August 19, 2011

    Gosh—sounds just like “real” life

  7. Name *
    August 19, 2011

    Hi Lynn, I enjoyed your post! I met you at the Vicks Party near the bowling alley. You actually seemed to be the popular one, the life of the party at that point! I completely agree with your assessment. My friend Shell and I had a little inside joke about the women at Blogher: “The higher the heel, the bigger the attitude!”
    Name * recently posted..Get Two Pairs of Mossimo Gauchos for $12 + FREE Shipping and 13% Cash BackMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Well, i had a GREAT time at that party because everyone was so chill (that and i drank sooo much beer there). I wasn’t popular…i was just in a great mood and decided to meet everyone. Hee, hee. I only brought flats to California! I have friends but have never been popular…nor am i a big blogger. But you know what? I’m a pretty happy one. You were one of the little cuties at the table next to me weren’t you?

      • Leigh Ann
        August 21, 2011

        I was about to say..I’m a flats girl.

  8. Elena
    August 19, 2011

    Love this post Lynn. Truly. You are so right about the high school analogy. Watching the post BlogHer tweeting and recap posts has been interesting, to say the least. And I would be lying if I did not admit that I get caught up in it too–the hurt feelings or the wondering…but in the end, we have to stay true to ourselves. Anything less, is well…crap. Hugs and happy blogoversary!

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      I loved loved loved meeting you and I’m happy to call you a friend!

  9. Erin Margolin
    August 19, 2011

    I’m lucky enough to have met you and I agree w/ everything you’ve said here!
    I was never popular, either. Still not, and wish I could say I was okay with that, but I’m not.
    Because I’m still not confident.
    Oy vey.
    But the good side is—although I love my blog? I’m not stressing it as much/often. I’m not posting all the time and it doesn’t matter. I’m a small fish and I am okay with that!
    ;-)
    xoxo
    Erin Margolin recently posted..Fiction Friday: 20 YearsMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Confidence is like a veneer. You just out it on and eventually it’s a seamless part of you

  10. Marta
    August 19, 2011

    You are oh so very very right. I play the stupid game and I kind of hate it. I’m not going to “quit” because I was blogging way before I had ANY CLUE this whole hierarchy of blogging existed. I sometimes which I didn’t know about it because its hard not to get caught up in how many followers you have, why no one comments on your posts, your stats, etc. I HATE that, but I do it anyway. Love that you’re calling it like it is because its definitely like high school. 100%.
    Marta recently posted..Listography – Guilty PleasuresMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      we all play it to some extent. Just don’t let it define you.

  11. Jaci
    August 19, 2011

    “MANY are based on a platform of bullshit.”

    Thank you for saying that. I see the retweets, Klout handouts, and even worse, the insincere “You’re the best! Can’t wait to read it!” tweets @BigNames when they land amazing gigs. *ahem* the Babble Voices launch *cough*

    Those aren’t friendships, they’re alliances. But, hey. The ass kissing usually pays off. Maybe they’re the smart ones and I’m the idiot for refusing to suck up.

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      at the end of the day, you gotta like yourself. I can’t suck up. It just doesn’t work for me…but that’s just me.

      And honestly, i’m not trying to make money so it’s easy to avoid all that competition.

  12. Theresa Sonoda
    August 19, 2011

    Oh man, such excellent advice. Be yourself. I’m coming up on my one year at blogging on August 31st. I have always blogged exactly what I wanted to blog, the hell with the consequences. I have a few treasured followers, and I’m happy to follow them. I don’t try to move up by tweeting things I don’t about. I use my time….tweet time that is….for blogs I love and people I’ve come to know and honestly care about.
    I ain’t going back to high school. Nope, not me. I was the poster child for Not Popular in high school.
    Now I’m just a big-mouth old lady trying to make people smile. And it is truly FUN!

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Awesome! I love that you’re just happy being u. I do tweet my stuff out, don’t read many blogs on a regular basis and don’t follow. I read links that I see on twitter. Too much of a hassle

  13. KLZ
    August 19, 2011

    Who the f hsa time for all that drama? I know some people do but…isn’t there some ice cream to eat or something?

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      There’s always ice cream…especially if you preggers like you are

  14. Theresa
    August 19, 2011

    Well I am not a blogger, so I dont have to suck up lol. I just know that your blog is the first that I look for. And I do read alot of blogs. And I have dropped alot of blogs.

    Some because they act like the MEAN GIRLS in high school.. one in fact because they went to a family buffet ..took pictures.. and then posted them online and trashed them online on how bad it was! How unorganized it was, the food placement was all wrong, some of the dishes that people brought were nasty looking etc.! I was horrified for the people who had the party…and their quests! And if I was them, I would have kicked the bloggers asses.

    Another one, was asked to go on a local tv show to show her crafting, and after she did, blogged (crying) about how bad she looked. And you know it was all about ego stroking. She just wanted everyone to watch the clip and tell her how wonderful she was! Which I would have done without all the drama!! You know what I mean lol

    You bitch about things like we all do, about everyday life, with a sense of humor that we all get. You start my life with a laugh, and I have sent my friends to your blog, and they have told me that they read you daily as well.
    Again, happy BLOG Anniversary

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Wow…this is one of the best comments I’ve ever gotten so THANKS (did you see I did that in all CAPS?) I try to be me, for better or worse. You rock

  15. Pamela D Hart
    August 19, 2011

    Happy blogaversary Lynn!

    When I started blogging almost 4 years ago it was to please me, and that’s how I’ve always tried to live my real life, because when I tried to please everyone else I ended up making myself miserable. So, if sucking up is how ya get all big and famous, I”m never gonna make it!

    I’m ME, hate me for who I AM, because I sure as heck don’t want people to like me for who I am NOT.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..The Glass is Full and so is Life!My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Well put!!!

  16. Autumn
    August 19, 2011

    Happy Blog-versary!
    I’m normally a lurker but wanted to say that as a reader who doesn’t blog, I only read the blogs that make me laugh. I subscribe to blogs with 100,000+ subscribers, and I subscribe to blogs where I am one of three. Thanks for making me laugh!

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Thanks lurker! I lurk lots too

  17. nicki
    August 19, 2011

    I have been blogging for…shit…I don’t know how long. 2 years? More? Less? Shows how much dedication I put in; I don’t even know my damn blogiversary! Anyway, I LOVE blogging and I try so desperately NOT to get stuck on the damn “follow” number. I even considered removing it so it doesn’t taunt me! I want more followers. I want more people to actually read my blog and comment on it so I know that I am not just writing for myself (not that there is anything wrong with that). BUT…I am not willing to get followers by doing the whole “I’ll follow you if you follow me” thing. I want followers who WANT to read my shit. Although I have a twitter account, I wouldn’t know the first thing about it because aside from signing up, I have not looked at that damn thing at all except to post a couple comments to give it a try. I just don’t want to be attached to my damn phone all the time and that battery already needs to be charged every 5 hours! I tried joining those blog groups like MomBloggers and BlogHer and 30 Something Bloggers but I am not interested in having one more thing to check on a daily basis and then feeling guilty because I didn’t answer someone who told me to follow their blog on beauty tips or how to get free diapers! So the bottom line is that although I am so sad that I get so few comments on my blog because let’s face it, we all LOVE a little attention from time to time, I am not willing to play the games either. I guess all I can do is let the bloggers I love know that I love them and let the Xanax kick in as I keep checking to see if they love me back! =)))

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Yeah!!! For Xanax. It can be a balancing act. It certainly takes time…good luck with it all and thanks for commenting

  18. Lady Estrogen
    August 19, 2011

    Maybe it’s because I do SEO shit for a full time job, but I couldn’t give a shit about that stuff, even if I actually should.

    It’s fun seeing how many hits I get though. That, I am totally guilty of.

    And yes, life is like high school – and seeing the friendship drama my mother is going through right now, it doesn’t look like it’s going to let up any time in the next few decades either. UGH.
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..GUY: The Book.My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Well, my mom is dead but had plenty if drama up to her death. I check my hits…I just don’t network much to increase them

  19. San Diego Momma
    August 19, 2011

    Lynn? I’m glad you’re you.
    And I’m glad you wrote this…I was with you for every word.
    XO

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      Ahhh…thanks. I appreciate it!

  20. Jenny, Bloggess
    August 19, 2011

    Happy Blogoversary, Lynn.

    If it makes you feel any better, I have my regular blog which gets tons of hits, and then I have my mommy blog which gets very few. I write the same quality of stuff for both but it doesn’t matter. Blog popularity is fickle and fleeting and largely based on chance and tenacity. Write for yourself and you’ll always feel rewarded. That’s the reason why I still have my mommy blog even though I usually only get a few comments a post. :)

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      I didn’t even know you had a mom blog although, I don’t really read mom blogs. I mean, my baby is 18 so I’ve ruined him already. I’m all about just being yourself. YOU certainly don’t need my help with that…AT ALL! I don’t care about the comments. I just like the statistical aspect cuz deep down inside, I’m a math nerd.

      oh, and shallow. That right there on the surface. Thanks for dropping by. I’m gonna write this down in my diary.

      SHIT! I don’t have a diary…

  21. liz
    August 19, 2011

    I find it so interesting what the legendary Bloggess has to say!

    But first, happy blogoversary. Second, you don’t give yourself enough credit! You always try to downplay your awesome, which I don’t get. Third, what about starting a new blog about sculpting? Or steps to become a MILF?

    See all these possibilities that you have for your new goals?

    Lastly? I think it’s kick ass that you called out the fake bullshit. There’s TOO much of it and I don’t know why people think they are fooling anyone.

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      thanks for the comment…i just wrote a post about my new goals today! I give myself more than enough credit, i just don’t consider myself either a “big” or “important” blogger but i’m having fun and making people laugh and that’s ok for now.

  22. Karen
    August 19, 2011

    Love the post! I haven’t been at it quite a year yet, or been to any conferences or any of that crap, but just from online observations it is definitely a lot like high school out there. I’m a lot like you described in HS – not the popular one, tried to fit in but never did. About my junior year I decided that I was going to be myself and like who I am. I try to bring that same attitude to my blog as well and my writing. I think that’s important, it makes your blog stand out and shows your individuality.

    Anyway, happy blogoversary to ya! You’re awesome chickie!

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      thanks for reading…and commenting… i really appreciate it

  23. Luda
    August 19, 2011

    As a small fish, I have to say that it is painfully obvious when a blogger is writing for hits and not for fun, or for themselves, or for whatever other reasons the small fish are blogging. It’s no fun to read for me, so I don’t.

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      I don’t even know how to write for hits! Is there a course on that??? Hahaha…I’m kidding

      Ts so much fun to be able to just do what you want with a blog…that’s my opinion at least

  24. Vapid Vixen
    August 19, 2011

    The only people who will be offended are the people pulling this shit. Oh, by the way, LOVED your panel. Oh, wait. I don’t even know what that means. Meh. *shrug* I follow the blogs that make me laugh. Yours does. The end.

    • Lynn
      August 19, 2011

      From what I can see, people don’t even realize that they ARE acting like this. I also only read funny or interesting posts. Usually not mom ones unless it’s a subject I have an opinion about.

  25. Tazer Warrior Princess
    August 20, 2011

    I hate that fake shit. I’ll probably never succeed at blogging and I don’t give a shit. Being real.

    I very much enjoyed this post, and I hope you don’t quit!

    • Lynn
      August 20, 2011

      I’m not quitting. I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing I’m not quitting,

  26. Wendi
    August 20, 2011

    Happy one year!

    • Lynn
      August 20, 2011

      Thanks!!! It’s been fun…I didn’t realize you ever read this blog! Hope to meet u sometime!

  27. Alison@Mama Wants This
    August 20, 2011

    Lynn, Happy First Year in Blogging! (I don’t know what’s correct – blogoversary, blogiversary blah blah blah)

    I like this post. I’m by no means a big blogger, just a small fry. I do try to grow my blog because I like blogging and I want to see how far I can take it (that’s my personal goal). I do like that you call bullshit on all the faking, the insincerity, the blatant ass kissing etc.

    Now, I do tweet a lot, and I do retweet posts I read that I like (like this one) but in the spirit of sharing more than anything. I do write for me, but I do like knowing people are reading, liking and commenting. If not, I’d just have kept the blog private. I do tell some of my bloggy friends I love them because I do. I will probably never meet any of them or you, I’m halfway across the world, so really I have nothing to lose by being me. So I am. And if someone doesn’t like it, they can suck it.

    • Lynn
      August 20, 2011

      Good for you kiddo! I’m ok with retweeting, I do it all the time but only if I’m interested in it. I blog pretty much for me. Actually, I’m not quite sure why i blog.

      Thanks for the comment

  28. Amanda
    August 20, 2011

    Love it.

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      Thanks!!!

  29. Sammie Love
    August 21, 2011

    Lynn, Lynn, Lynn! Where have you been for the past two months when I started my blog? I’m so damn happy to finally have found you because you don’t know it yet but we are gonna be great friends, I bullshit you not!

    Earlier this week my feelings were crushed in the high school game called blogging. I have been through a lot in my life and there are two things that I don’t play around with and that how to help a rape or cancer survivor because I have managed to survive them both. I stepped out of my shell and asked to help collaborate on a project and after the “let me see your credentials response” and a quick rejection I wanted to scream EFF YOU! But I didn’t because I support the project even and i will continue to support the project. Yeah, I have been known to curse but im not nearly as bad as a sailor. Even though I was rejected — I decided that I am not blogging for sorority points. I am voicing my feelings and my feelings and thoughts are alright.

    SEO/Big Bloggers/Social Climbers beware I’m not an ass kisser and I’m too old to start! Thank for writing this post — it’s nice to know that was being hyper-sensitive. Looking forward to hear more for you.

    Sammie

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      Ahhh!! You sound awesome and tough. If u need a pep talk just email and I’ll get back to you. Maybe not immediately cuz I have to move some kids to college but I’ll respond. Don’t let this bullshit get you down. It’s inevitable every once in a while but you know you’re own self worth!!,

  30. Leigh Ann
    August 21, 2011

    “EVERYTHING is like high school. Life is like high school. The only thing that changes is YOU!!” Love love love this line, Lynn. Is that enough “L’s?”

    I also love what The Bloggess said: “Blog popularity is fickle and fleeting and largely based on chance and tenacity. Write for yourself and you’ll always feel rewarded.” Sometimes it’s just being at the right place at the right time, I guess. It’s not that I really want my blog to be all that huge, but I do want people to be moved by my writing, whether that means they are moved to laugh, cry, or just keep their eyes moving down the page! Popular bloggers who publish fluff drive me nuts.

    And about the confidence? My old boss used to always say, You fake it ’til you make it!” I really had to embrace that since I grew up dreadfully shy. I still want to dive under a table sometimes in social situations, but I can’t. Because that would be weird.

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      That would be weird. I really think people grow into their self confidence which i suppose means I’ll be a raging meglomaniac when I’m 100!!! Love your comment. Love you too and thanks for being such a faithful reader.

  31. Seabeegirl
    August 21, 2011

    This is the first time I have read your blog and I can tell that it’s a good fit for me. I don’t give a f* about what the “popular” people think, either. As a result, I may not have gotten as far in life career-wise as I could have, but I have what’s important: friends and family that love me. Frequently, I even make them laugh. Keep up the good work, and as Dr. Seuss says, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      Anybody who quotes the greatest Dr of them all is awesome in my book. I love him!!! Welcome aboard.

  32. Name *
    August 21, 2011

    Hey Lynn. I sat next to you at the humor blogging session and I could instantly sense your not being willing to suffer through bullshit.

    I loved this post.

    My take is that it drains your energy to try to be someone you’re not for the sake of being popular.

    Relaxing and being yourself GIVES you more energy.
    Name * recently posted..I’m at BlogHer.com and My FIL is Guest Posting: PortlandiacsMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      I had such a hard time in that session because it made me so impatient. Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you liked this post. I was telling somebody last night that it gets easier as you age and I wonder if I could have written this in my 30’s. Nice meeting you!!!

  33. Kathykate
    August 21, 2011

    As a newbie, I don’t play blogging reindeer games and don’t really care … sort of. While I wish I didn’t care, I sure do get a blogging hard on when/if/once or twice one of the popular kids retweeted or commented on my stuff. Like you, I didn’t succumb to 8th grade games in 8th grade, and won’t be doing it now. I’m just blogging along, minding my own business, and reading yours! Thanks!

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      thanks for reading…everybody likes a RT now and then. I always get them when i least expect them. I’ll write something i’ll think is soooo funny and nothing and then i write something somewhat thoughtful (like this one) and bam…lots of RT’s. I’m just having fun and entertaining myself. Nothing more, nothing less.

  34. Foreigner
    August 21, 2011

    Hi Lynn,

    Been lurking at your blog for a while. Happy Blog-versary!

    It’s like that everywhere. I’m a blogger for a few years, originally from Hong Kong and I still write (in Chinese). In HK, once some blogs get popular, it’s so annoying for us “readers” to see them posting “sponsored” posts pretty much every other day, even if the sponsored items have nothing to do with their blogs. And Hong Kong being so small and everybody can actually meet everybody, sooner or later you’ll hear “I’m not so-and-so friends anymore because blah blah blah….” so juvenile.

    Writing blog is different than writing dairy, it gets “out”, friends, family, strangers read it (that’s the purpose, right?). I always read blog with a grain of salts because it’s how the bloggers want to portray themselves out there. Of course if the blogger is more on the “genuine” side, it’ll not be difficult to see after a good number of posts.

    I’ve made a few like-minded friends in the blog world, and I can still use this platform to vent/express my POV, that’s enough for me. In real life I don’t like toxic relationships around me, and that’s how I run my blog, to the point that sometimes I will discourage/delete comments that are “bullshit-ty” or just plain nosy. I guess I’m just mean.

    Happy blogging Lynn.

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      thanks so much for the warm wishes and long comment. I love when people let me know what they’re thinking…

  35. Name *
    August 21, 2011

    Argh! I found this post through a FB post, does that mean I can’t comment?? ;)

    (I saw your comment that you’re having fun and entertaining yourself…well, today you’re entertaining me, too!)

    I think this is an interesting post. It’s also one of the reasons I’m intimidated by conferences. I’m reasonable enough to know that I won’t EVER buy a vacation house with my blogging profits (I’m working on maybe a latte), and this is a good reminder that there’s definitely a hierarchy I shouldn’t even concern myself with breaking into :)

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      the comment went to moderation and i wasn’t around, Sorry! Don’t be intimidated by conferences. JUst go, be yourself and have fun. That’s what i do!

  36. JoJo So Called Life
    August 21, 2011

    I totally love this blog post. there is always bitching in blogging just like at high school completely agree.

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      thanks so much…high school never goes away does it?

  37. Brittany
    August 21, 2011

    Ah Lynn I just totally think you are cool and hey I married a math nerd so I’m a fan. I don’t have the energy to be fake and as you know I feel like as your blog grows it is easy to get into a few sponsored posts and then feel lost. I mean it is nice to have that hosting cost paid. I don’t care so much about being big. I really think it is a mix of good writing and regular posting and the luck of the Gods or something. It just happens for some. What I do get down about is a post that comes from the heart and I am proud of that ends up with no comments or interaction. I guess that is the nature of the blogging beast. It is just disappointing.

    At the same time, staying true to myself has brought me real friends and when I go to conferences I focus on friendships and not panels. Also, when I have a real need for friends and support I feel the real love from this community. Last week was a testament to that.

    So yes, high school is here forever and you hit that nail on the head. I will just stick with being myself and having fun even if I’m not the coolest cat at the party.
    Brittany recently posted..Unexpected Joy, Unbelieveable GriefMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      I’m sorry about what happened but I’m glad the support was there. I have found NO rhyme or reason to which posts generate interest or not. You are a lovely person and I SO enjoyed meeting you. The hell with the blog.

      I loved that you’re doing your ownnthings with the fixer up stuff. Let me know when you’re up my way so we can meet. Maybe we will even invite Mary!!

  38. Jayme (RandomBlogette)
    August 22, 2011

    You are so right. I remember when I first started blogging that there were all kinds of drama from some big bloggers and little bloggers and I made sure to steer clear of that, just like in high school. And just like in high school I sit here from the sidelines and watch everyone else get popular and crap but I really don’t care. I am who I am and I stay true to myself. I learned that the hard way with blogging. Kudos to you for being yourself too. I like you. ;)
    Jayme (RandomBlogette) recently posted..Rollercoaster…Of Fun…For SomeMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      Ditto! I suck at game playing and can never keep my mouth shut so I don’t bother. I read who I want, when I want, if I want.

  39. Amanda
    August 22, 2011

    Girl, you done did it! Love this post. I agree, everything is like high school. I stayed in my house all the time in high school, so to get through life, guess I”ll have to stay in my house now? ;)

    I get *so* tired of seeing the same old sucking up all the time. you work hard to be “noticed” by these mid-level bloggers and it gets exhausting. Some days I care, some days I don’t. Sometimes I’ll see posts floating around from some random blogger than everyone wants to “be” and read it and I’m like, this is good but not *that* good, ya know? Certainly not good enough to be re-tweeted 18 times…so it makes me wonder, is it being RT because it’s good, or because they want that person to see they got re-tweeted?

    Always leaves me a’ponderin’.

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      I totally agree. I find many of the “big” bloggers boring and unfunny. I try to be charitable and remember that humor is subjective but still…

    • Kristin @ What She Said
      August 23, 2011

      I know, right? I’ll often read mid-level blogs that just aren’t very well written and yet they have comments in the hundreds and loads of RTs and people tripping over themselves to kiss the bloggers’ asses. I just don’t get it. There are 200 million blogs out there – wouldn’t people rather spend their time reading quality writing?

      But then, I guess ‘quality writing’ is subjective.
      Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..You’re Never Too Young for ProductMy Profile

  40. Fragrant Liar
    August 22, 2011

    Definitely. JUST. LIKE. HIGH SCHOOL.

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      true that

  41. Lynn (another one :))
    August 22, 2011

    This is my first visit to your blog, and I love it! I can definitely see many parallels to high school bullshit in the blogging world. I think the ones that make me saddest are the sucking-up comments from the “groupies” — but then again I’ve always been allergic to fakeness in any form.

    As overused as the word “tribes” is, I think it really applies here — some bloggers are like the popular jock with his fawning fans, others are like the quirky drama club girl, etc. And it’s true in “real” life as an adult, too — any mom can attest to the cliques that form in playgroups, PTA, etc. I guess we all end up hanging with the people we’re meant to hang with — online or otherwise!

    And just in case you’ve never heard it — there is an awesome, funny song by the band Bowling for Soup called “High School Never Ends.” I think it should be the theme song for this post! (I’d attach a link, but I’m not real up on my blog commenting etiquette and suspect it’s bad form. It’s on YouTube, though.)

    Anyway, happy to be a new follower — keep on telling it like it is. There’s so much marketing crap and ways to be manipulated online that finding one of the gold nuggets of realness is a rare treat!

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      well hello Lynn (another one :)) i’m so glad you found me… i try to always say what i think, popular or not. Thanks for reading…and commenting…i think i know that song. Not sure though

  42. Kristin @ What She Said
    August 23, 2011

    No offense taken here – I completely agree with you. Blogging is EXACTLY like high school. Not that’s it not supportive, and there maybe aren’t as many “mean girls” (although they do exist), but blogging is definitely full of cliques and inside jokes and unspoken popularity contests and all the other little things that can make an outsider shrink in fear in high school.

    I play the game. I admit that. I comment and RT and “engage” with other bloggers in an effort to market my own site. But I try – I really, really try – to maintain my integrity and stay true to myself in the process. If I don’t particularly click with another blogger, I don’t go out of my way to kiss their ass – I just ignore them. If I don’t have anything particularly insightful to say in response to a post, I don’t comment. To go out of my way to be someone I’m not is just too damn exhausting.
    Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..You’re Never Too Young for ProductMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 23, 2011

      well, it is hard to find a happy medium. There are days when i’m in a good mood with nothing to do that i DO read and comment. Of course, then it’s my decision so i’m ok with it

  43. Sweaty
    August 24, 2011

    Hmm… You’ve practically run with all the words I wanted to say and left me with none. Here’s why:

    Lynn, this post made you my hero (oops, not supposed to say that). Just because you’ve written all the things I wanted to say to some of the bloggers out there but too chicken-shit to do it myself. As I was reading your post sentence per sentence, my mind started connecting all the BS you’ve listed with some names (oh yeah, I have my list…), imagining myself laughing at those BS bloggers and feeling a certain perverted sense of satisfaction, even though I have never met any of them. And then I wished those very bloggers would read this post, and hopefully they realized what they’ve been doing. Just so that I can finally put my mind at ease, because to see them doing all those things made me just as fed up as you were with all the y’all mispellings.

    Then again, I remembered what you said, that basically every f*cking thing IS like high-school. Anywhere, really. Blogging included. And that maybe I’ve been guilty of doing some of those BS stuff myself… SOME times. Because, just like in high-school, sometimes I found myself suffering from blog-identity crisis. These tend to happen on days when I had absolutely nothing to write, when I read a truly brilliant post by another blogger and started wondering why I couldn’t write as well, or whenever my husband, aka Mr. Lame Ass, was being um. a lame ass.

    (I know, I know… for someone who claimed to have nothing to say, I’ve pretty much crowded your comment space by now)

    So Lynn, wanna be my best-friend? LOL. Seriously though, I’m glad you are the way you are. That way, I can just read and retweet your posts instead of having to write them myself ;). I think blogosphere needs more people like you, to call on other people’s BS. I wish I had a friend like that when I was in high school!

    Last but not least, happy 1st! Here’s hoping that you stay BS-free for year(s) to come.

    • Lynn
      August 24, 2011

      Wow…thanks for the long comment…i suspect that i’ll stay this way. After all, i’m 52 and VERY UNLIKELY to change at this point.

      There are better writers, smarter people, funnier people than me all over the place. I NEVER define myself by other people. I’ll always lose. Just like you for yourself.

      Also, when i was in high school i wasn’t anywhere near as peaceful with me as i am now. I still wanted to be popular…i just couldn’t do it and that conflict drove me nuts.

  44. Kelly
    August 24, 2011

    Oh, Lynn…this? This is awesome, just like you. And yes, no bones, I’m totally sucking up. :) heehee.
    It is true, the older we get, the more laid back things tend to be. My rose-colored glasses became crystal clear at this last conference, to the point of me consciously saying ‘huh, what do you know. Not what I expected.’
    Guess I’m the kind of blogger that is looking for that connection & conversation-so much so, that I will blow off meetings to do so. I guess that is me closing the door, but then again, I was really enjoying what was through the window. ;)

    Miss you lots!

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      I figured that if i came out of there knowing 10 people better, that would be a great thing. I think i succeeded although i was drinking so much i couldn’t count that high. You’re one of them. Lots of love

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