This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Andie just hung up the phone on me because a) she thought it was a stupid conversation or b) she wasn’t impressed with the information I was imparting or 3) she wanted to go back to sleep.
She called earlier and I answered:
Andie: (she told me all this shit about school like I actually care how she’s doing in college. But, one thing she mentioned was that she did a paper on the physiological issues of what happens to a bear when it hibernates)
Me: Well, I just had a funny conversation with Robin (my friend)
Andie: your conversations with Robin are never funny
Me: yes they are, we crack up
Andie: that’s because they’re stupid and you think they’re funny
Me: I’m not sure you have a true understanding on what’s funny Andie
Andie: I do too
Me: hey, you wanna know what I discovered yesterday?
Andie: not really
Me: well, I’ll tell you anyways
Andie: really mom?
Me: yesterday Tucker (my dog) chased a groundhog and the groundhog climbed a tree
Me: were you aware that groundhogs can climb trees?
Andie: no, but I think that’s a stupid fact
Andie; there are already an excellent sufficiency of animals that climb trees so why add another one?
Me: that’s extremely stupid
Andie: squirrels dominate the stupid rodents who climb trees category
Me: are you aware that bears can climb trees?
Andie: of course I am
Me: well, they don’t hibernate in trees
Andie: I know all about the hibernating habits of bears
Me: probably because they could never sleep in a tree without falling out
Andie: they’re ground animals
Me: as is a GROUND hog … so why did it climb a tree?
Andie: are you aware that all squirrels don’t climb trees?
Me: are you sure?
Andie: yes, there are ground squirrels. They don’t climb trees hence the name GROUND squirrels
Me: and yet the GROUND Hog does climb trees
Andie: this is an extremely dumb conversation
Me: all of our conversations are extremely dumb
Andie: which is why I’m hanging up on you
Me: what? Andie? ANDIE?
And then she was gone. All because she has a complete and total lack of appreciation for my conversational prowess.