This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
In which groundhogs leave the GROUND
Andie just hung up the phone on me because a) she thought it was a stupid conversation or b) she wasn’t impressed with the information I was imparting or 3) she wanted to go back to sleep.
She called earlier and I answered:
Me: Hello?
Andie: (she told me all this shit about school like I actually care how she’s doing in college. But, one thing she mentioned was that she did a paper on the physiological issues of what happens to a bear when it hibernates)
Me: Well, I just had a funny conversation with Robin (my friend)
Andie: your conversations with Robin are never funny
Me: yes they are, we crack up
Andie: that’s because they’re stupid and you think they’re funny
Me: I’m not sure you have a true understanding on what’s funny Andie
Andie: I do too
Me: hey, you wanna know what I discovered yesterday?
Andie: not really
Me: well, I’ll tell you anyways
Andie: really mom?
Me: yesterday Tucker (my dog) chased a groundhog and the groundhog climbed a tree
Andie: so?
Me: were you aware that groundhogs can climb trees?
Andie: no, but I think that’s a stupid fact
Me: why?
Andie; there are already an excellent sufficiency of animals that climb trees so why add another one?
Me: that’s extremely stupid
Andie: squirrels dominate the stupid rodents who climb trees category
Me: are you aware that bears can climb trees?
Andie: of course I am
Me: well, they don’t hibernate in trees
Andie: I know all about the hibernating habits of bears
Me: probably because they could never sleep in a tree without falling out
Andie: they’re ground animals
Me: as is a GROUND hog … so why did it climb a tree?
Andie: are you aware that all squirrels don’t climb trees?
Me: are you sure?
Andie: yes, there are ground squirrels. They don’t climb trees hence the name GROUND squirrels
Me: and yet the GROUND Hog does climb trees
Andie: this is an extremely dumb conversation
Me: all of our conversations are extremely dumb
Andie: which is why I’m hanging up on you
Me: what? Andie? ANDIE?
And then she was gone. All because she has a complete and total lack of appreciation for my conversational prowess.
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Nice conversion between you and Andie.
Is now a good time to admit that I lived in the country for 21 years and…. I HAD NO IDEA A GROUNDHOG COULD CLIMB A TREE. That shit is some kind of cool.
i didn’t either. I was really shocked
“excellent sufficiency” ~ wow, they teach big words at Duke. :)
they MUST have taught that word at Kentucky girl! BTW, i love you. also, would you like to read the rough draft of my book.
I would LOVE to read your book. I’m touched that you asked!!
Pure brilliance
Thanks Mack! How are you??
HA! Hey, I’m always game for what is perceived as useless trivia. In fact, I no longer believe there is such a thing thanks to years of watching Jeopardy! :D… I did NOT know groundhogs climb trees and you know, that somehow makes them more sinister in my mind, now. I DID know they climb into car engines, but that’s not nearly as lighthearted a tidbit…
I saw it happen…it’s true
I have never, ever, ever seen a groundhog in a tree. Are you sure about this? Because i have seen EVERYTHING dammit! I have those types of conversations with my daughter and she is only nine. I am sure she finds me more ignorant and un-funny every day. This is how i know that I am truly hilarious!
yeah, the more they protest the truer it is. I definitely saw it happen. I was shocked and it took forever to get my dog back inside
This totally sounds like my mom and me, except it would probably be over a lost Star Trek episode or the spelling of a word I’ve never even heard of before….ha! I need to send her the link to this! Thanks for sharing, glad my mother/daughter relationship is as awesome as yours and Andie’s…lol!
we love to have ridiculous conversations…check out the candle one from a few days ago
Hi Lynn.. It was a nice conversation with Andie but it was so sad she hung up..
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Very touching kind of book…Thanks for sharing with us..I will share this to my friend also..
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