In which he wasn’t floating

Last night, right before bedtime, I went into my office to plug in my iPad.  I glanced over at the fish tank and it was so beautiful because I had just changed the water.  I could see Gilgamesh swimming all around but I didn’t see Hercules.

I went closer and Herc was just there in the water, on the bottom.  He was completely parked, not moving, and not blinking.  (Do fish blink? I have no clue) I looked at him and even his fins were perfectly still.

“Is he dead?” I thought.  “If he’s dead wouldn’t he be floating?”  I then realized that all I knew about fish I learned from Ruthless People, the movie.  In Ruthless people the two fish, named Crockett and Tubbs were “floating” therefore indicating that they were dead.

I said “Herc” loudly and still he didn’t move.  “Uh oh” I thought but then I did what any normal person would do in this circumstance, I fed them.  Sure enough, within moments Herc had come back to life and was eating.

I went into the bedroom and told Kevin who was practically asleep:

Me:      do you think fish sleep?

Kevin: I’m trying to

Me:      I wonder if they blink

Kevin: why do you ask?

Me:      I thought Herc was dead because he was just so still

Kevin: I suppose it depends if there’s air in their lungs?

Me:      do fish have lungs? I know they have gills

Kevin: I’m trying to sleep

Me:      do you realize that all I know about dying fish is from the movies?

Kevin: movies?

Me:      yeah, like Crockett and Tubbs (best names ever) were floating in Ruthless People

Kevin: leave me alone

Me:      also in Salmon Fishing in the Yemen they were floating

Kevin: I’m seriously trying to sleep

Me:      I wonder if they exhaled first if they would sink

Kevin: good grief

Me:      well, I will have to check this all out now

Kevin: can you do that another time and leave me alone

So now I have to figure all this out or how will I ever know if my fish die? Also, I don’t want to feed them if they’re sleeping because do fish sleep? I have no idea.  What do you guys think?

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