This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which he’s going to be a rapper

I’m sitting here at the Public Bar at the Hotel Roosevelt having a beer and I realize that I’ve been incredibly slack, I mean INCREDIBLY SLACK. I don’t think I’ve updated you guys on anything lately.   At any rate, I’m going to attempt to let you know what I’ve been up to.

The last time we spoke, or I spoke (in a writing sort of way) I had attempted to sculpt my thumb. That was the first day of my five day workshop. Fortunately, after that experience Ante, my teacher, let me progress to power tools; now I love power tools so thing went much quicker after that.  One of the biggest things I learned in my class was the proper way to fold sandpaper.  You heard me right, SANDPAPER. There is actually a proper way to fold it. I know this because I repeatedly folded it incorrectly and after I finally learned the proper way to fold sandpaper, I would fold it and then walk up to Ante and say “hey, have I shown you the proper way to fold sandpaper today?  I learned it from this awesome Croatian artist I know!” Yeah, taking class with me is a laugh a minute.  Actually the class was a joy because not only was I creating (for better or worse) but I was with Diana and Sharon.  These two women were a joy to be with and so talented that it was inspiring just being around them.  Fortunately, they both had great senses of humor as well.  Hey girls!  I’m going back next year on Monday July 15th for 5 days.  Be there or else!

So, my sculpture progressed and on Saturday, I took Ante, Karen (the sculptor who runs the course), Pat (her partner) and Janet (their friend) out to dinner. A couple of bottles of wine later, I’m pretty sure they were regretting it.  I had fun though even though I was loud, obnoxious and totally dominated the conversation; in other words business as usual.

 By the end of day five, I had finished my sculpture and below are the finished pictures. It was definitely one of the best experiences I’ve had in my life and my advice to people is try to find yourself again whenever you get the chance.  It’s not about the talent or exactly what you’re doing; it’s about just pushing yourself to try to find new things you enjoy.  Well, that’s my opinion at least and let’s face it: it’s my blog so my opinion is the only one that matters.


On Monday I set out for LA.  I got up at the crack of dawn and drove WITHOUT ANY GODDAMN COFFEE for 2 hours finally arriving at the Oakland Airport.  Other than the Hertz experience and the flight being late, I arrived in LA in good cheer and ready for my next adventure.  Should I continue on with all that?  Just kidding…I was being rhetorical…I don’t really want an answer from you.

So, after FINALLY getting my car (see post here about fucking Hertz and my NEVERLOST complaints), I set out for Hollywood and the Hotel Roosevelt.  After fighting the traffic, I pull up and some person is pulling out with a camera mounted on his car and he was obviously filming himself.  Don’t ask me.  I have no clue who it was.  It kind of looked like David Spade but I couldn’t tell for sure.  In any case, he was totally in my way so I couldn’t pull in so the guy completely annoyed me.

I dropped my car and went to check in and my room wasn’t ready.  Damn it! So I decided to head to the pool bar so I could grab some lunch and people watch.  I sit at the bar and order a Cobb Salad and some water and I ask the guy next to me what he’s doing at the pool in a suit.  No, not a swimsuit.  A black business suit.  This guy, a young black guy, tells me that he’s a motivational speaker.  “Really?” I ask, “What do you motivate people about?”  “Everything” he answers.  “Are you any good?” I ask.  “I’m not feeling all that motivated talking to you.”

He just looks at me and then I tell him he looks young to be motivating people and then he tells me he’s 38 and not so young and I tell him I’m 52 and DEFINITELY not so young and then he’s all “DAMN, you look good for 52” and I’m all like ”DAMN, what are you up to in LA?” and he tells me he’s laying down track s because he’s going to be a rapper.

A rapper?  Yep, he’s going to be a rapper and he’s apparently written all these songs for all these dudes but now he’s laying down his own stuff.  Then he takes my number because he wants to hang out later and I’m like “I don’t think so.”  HAHAHA

Finally I checked in and went down to the pool for realz and seriously, somebody forgot to take the trash out because it was lying all around the pool in lounge chairs.  I have NEVER seen so many HUGE tattoos.  Circumspect? NOT HARDLY.  Anyway, I would love to be able to report that there were interesting people to talk about but mostly, they were just yucky.

That night I went out to dinner with my friend Chris and it was really fun to catch up on his life.  Hopefully it was fun for him as well. When we got back to the hotel around 11:00, they were having a strumpet convention in the lobby.  Ummm…I suppose they might not have been strumpets but if MY GIRLS went out dressed up with dresses up to their asses, fuck me heels, and that much makeup on, I’d be pretty disappointed in my parenting skills.  However, I was informed that “That’s how people dress who go out to clubs MOM!” so perhaps I’m being judgmental.  I’m pretty sure that those girls weren’t there to show off their intellectual and conversational skills.  Just my opinion but then again, it’s the only one that matters on this blog.  At any rate, herds of girls were hanging out trying to get into the night club.

We got the hell out of there and went to the pool bar where there was different Eurotrash from the daytime and then just had a drink and talked about days of yore.  No, not history; like when we were younger and knew each other in our 20’s.  So, there you are.  Very frankly this post kind of sucks but I can’t write at night at that’s exactly what I’m doing.  If you’re looking for some good and interesting prose perhaps you should read Ulysses and stop following me.

I’m just saying…

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  1. RCB
    August 4, 2011

    I’m impressed. You’re a true artist, Lynn. That’s one interesting piece of art, really, but I guess you already knew that. But, tell me, why didn’t you hang out with Mr Rapper-wanna-be? You might have ended up on MTV all motivated :)

    • Lynn
      August 4, 2011

      Hahaha…I actually met some other music people and I’m going to write about it eventually. I really enjoyed my sculpture class.

  2. Tazer
    August 5, 2011

    Lovely sculpture Lynn! Sounds like you’re having some adventures out here in the “Golden” state!

  3. Don E. Chute
    August 6, 2011

    I freekin 30 something…motivational rapper. Shit I thought I had heard everything? The Roosevelt is a great hotel and you can’t beat Oakland…

    DARAIDERS, baby. and so I bet your smokin HOT at 52!

    Aloha :)

  4. Name *
    August 6, 2011

    Oops, A freekin…

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