This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Yesterday, I read a blog post by “The real supermum blog” about bullying and I have to respectfully call “bullshit.” Now obviously bullying is the big catchword of 2012. There’s the movie that’s coming out and there’s other incidents about “bullying” and I personally think a lot of this hysteria is just that, hysteria.
Now, I don’t advocate bullying or what USED to be bullying but I think what people consider bullying nowadays to be bullshit. Take the blog post for example. You can read the entire thing HERE but this is the opening paragraphs: Her writing is in italics. Mine is the normal font.
Have you ever sent an email, a Twitter direct message or a Facebook inbox message to another that contains hurtful or damaging content about another blogger you know?
I have been at the center of being bullied by other bloggers, when others have whispered about me, made degrading remarks and started somewhat of a witch hunt against me, I know how it feels to feel like the black sheep. Not being accepted into the crowd and made to feel indifferent, because I choose not to be like them.
I know how being bullied online can lower your confidence and make you question your own abilities. There was a time I thought about stopping blogging due to the remarks and the cat claws that came out aimed in my direction, but it also taught me a valuable lesson.
Bullies are cowards who spend their time causing hurt to others, so they can feel better about themselves, jealousy often springs to mind.”
Well, I agree that bullies are often cowards who hide behind the behavior to make themselves feel important although in a blogging situation I disagree.
I think that if you’re blogging in a public forum you need to expect some backlash at times. Beyond that, I simply don’t understand how you could EVER let another person define you or your “confidence.” I don’t know exactly what happened to this blogger but I have had my own experiences on line with awful comments and whatnot and I still think people have a right to disagree. I have decided to answer her points.
This blogger says that:
Have you ever disrespected another blogger?
Why yes, yes I have. If you consider “disrespecting” NOT AGREEING WITH THEIR VIEWS OR THEIR PLATFORM then I certainly have.
Do you say things about another blogger in secret to others, hoping they too will say hateful things to agree with you?
I HAVE talked to bloggers about other bloggers. I don’t know too many people as hateful as I am so that wouldn’t be the reason but isn’t putting something out there in the public domain setting yourself up to be disagreed with? If you’re not willing to have people dissent and yes, actually disagree or hate you for your views, shouldn’t you just stick to journaling?
Have you ever remarked to another that someone’s blog is crap?
Why yes. I do this frequently. There are millions of blogs out there and truthfully many of them are crap. I am told that my blog is crap all the time and if I was only writing to win friends and influence people I’d be truly fucked.
Have you ever formed a little gang and then spoke about another blogger in secret, in an unfriendly way?
Ok, I have actually never formed “a little gang” in regards to anything, especially blogging. I can’t even imagine caring enough to want to “gang up” on another blogger and I actually do think that is crap.
Have you witnessed someone disrespecting another blogger and then joined in the conversation?
Yes, and occasionally I disagree and occasionally I agree because I don’t whitewash all bloggers and assume they’re only out to be sweet and cheerful and nice. Many bloggers are in this for the money and as such, they will occasionally run over other people to do so. I have seen many bloggers steal other’s work and posts for their own devices. Its quite naïve to think this doesn’t happen. All bloggers don’t deserve respect. On the other hand, I think that joining forces to destroy someone just because they “differ” from you is wrong too.
Do you become angry when another blogger does not agree with you?
I would probably stroke out if I chose to get upset when others didn’t agree with me. I’d probably die if people did agree with me.
Do you bring it upon yourself to dictate what other bloggers should or should not do?
I don’t give a shit about what others do and having said that, perhaps people should blog for their own reasons and not worry if other “bullying” bloggers don’t like them. Just like in real life, not everyone is on the same side on all topics.
Are you happy to accept that other bloggers are just as capable of blogging as you are, despite the fact you have done it for 5 years and they have for 5 weeks?
I rarely think anyone is as capable as I am, doesn’t matter if they’ve written for 5 minutes or 5 decades.
I love blogging, I love my blog, I love that I have come to meet some very special people in the blogsphere and made some lifelong friends. Bullying others needs to stop, but it never will, there seems to be a small minority of bloggers who will never accept that blogging is a free world and not everyone will play by the rules they dictate.
What I don’t understand here is why you would care if other people disagree with you. That’s human nature. Put out what you want and if people don’t like it, that’s their problem. There will always be people who don’t like you and the anonymity of blogging is perfect for the trolls to come out.
What I do ask is; if you come across another for whatever reason having ranting and being a bully, that you refrain from commenting and get to know the victim in the center of the slanderous remarks, you may well be surprised what you learn.
I do however, agree, that the level could be raised. I have received more than my fair share of awful comments but at the end of the day, why would I let such ignorance affect me? And why should you?
Blogging can create an amazing experience and has so many positives, blogging bullies need to go back under their rocks and allow other bloggers to grow and be accepted for what they are, warts and all and refrain from starting witch hunts, perhaps these bloggers belong more in a school play yard.
Back to the overuse of “bullying on the play yard”
Many will not agree with me, many will agree but will be afraid of speaking out for fear of repercussion. Bullying happens everywhere, how you react to a bully is your own choice, you are not a sheep. Do you believe everything you read or hear?
Here’s my opinion for what it’s worth. In todays society we have somehow gotten on this kick that “everyone is a winner.” While back in the day people got kudos for participation nowadays kids are all “stars” of their own teams. After all, lets not ruin little Johnny’s self esteem.
It’s even gotten into schools. I have heard of a two-tiered system in schools where the “less bright” kids are graded on a different scale. That way they too can get “A’s” just like the stellar students.
So tell me, what happens when the “second tier” A students come out of school and go to college? College is real life. All of a sudden those A students are once again B- and C students. Will they be capable of doing what it takes to rise up grade wise? I seriously doubt it because people “LIFE ISN’T FAIR” and tricking your kids into thinking that they are as “good as” or even “Better than” for no apparent reason isn’t the way to go.
So here we are in a society where you “can’t pick on people,” “can’t be negative,” and we give everyone false reassurances that they’re the bomb.
Self esteem isn’t given, it’s earned. People need to like themselves for their pros and their cons. Tricking them into it isn’t good. Protecting your kids from the real world is a dangerous precedent.
There will be bullying but instead of pretending it doesn’t exist or stopping it completely, why don’t you teach your child coping mechanisms. I’m not advocating bullying but trust me, the minute you have more than one child there is bullying going on. I have never seen a household where the older kids didn’t bully the younger ones.
That’s how people interact. I’m not saying, “Yeah, let’s go to the playground and let one kid beat the crap out of another.” I’m saying that some of this is part of the natural order.
How many people became incredibly successful because of the drive to “rise above” something? Whether it was bullying, poverty or environment people will react.
Stop over protecting everything and everyone. Yes, I think stopping bullying is a valid thing, especially for children but seriously: blog bullying?
If you are afraid of getting bad feedback from an opinion left on a blog or for your own post, perhaps you should reevaluate whether you want to post it. Part of being an “adult” is recognizing the world isn’t always to your liking.
I’ve written posts that I never published simply because it wasn’t worth the negative feedback I was likely to get. If you’re writing a blog, take some personal responsibility.
It wouldn’t shock me if this post is considered “bullying” although I just think of it as a different opinion. And by the way, if you hate this post or blog, feel free to leave your comments. I like differing opinions. I mean, they’re wrong, but I admire your gumption.