This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Guys. I’ve decided to tell you about the colossal clusterfuck that is Keely’s party!
Keely will be 25 on October 17th and I can’t believe it either. (I’m assuming you can’t believe it.)
I figured that it would be awesome to throw a surprise party for her because a) she’s going to be 25 and b) she lives in Los Angeles and c) she’s my only kid who would like a surprise party and d) I’m awesome.
BUT … obviously it couldn’t be a 100% surprise because a) Keely live in Los Angeles so b) I have no clue who she knows and c) I needed to get all the emails from her and d) I’m awesome.
SO … I told her I wanted to throw her a party but I’d need some help with the emails. She protested because she thought I’d embarrass her (hahahaha… MOI????)
Her birthday is on Friday but she wanted the party on Saturday because a) she didn’t think she’d get out of work on time and b) she didn’t think her friends would get out of work on time and c) she lives in Los Angeles and driving is a pain in the ass and d) she wanted to look good so she didn’t want to go from work.
So, in my sneaky way I got all the email addresses from her and decided that since she wanted a surprise I would have the party on Friday anyways beucase I’m amazing and I figured I’d work it out with her boss! Smart huh?
Except after I sent out the save the date cards Andie said Keely really wanted to get her hair blown out before the party and all that shit and then one of her friends called and asked if she could stay with Keely. Now Keely knew some people were flying in and I was freaking about the day so I decided to move the party to Saturday.
Therefore … Surprise one: party on Friday BLOWN.
Surprise two: friends from out of town BLOWN.
Meanwhile, she was in a bad mood and we decided to tell her that I was flying in for the party.
Was she happy? NO. SHE WAS NOT. Seriously, then she was worried that I’d have nobody to hang with since now her friend was coming in so then I had to tell her to stop worrying because KEVIN would also be there.
Surprise three: Mom and Dad coming BLOWN.
The other day she found out another friend was coming in on Saturday.
Surprise four: longtime friend she met in France coming BLOWN.
By now we are referring to it as Keely’s completely unsurprising party.
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW … I still have a few surprises up my sleeve. More on that AFTER the party!!!