This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i attempt to diet


I guess I haven’t really written about it but Keely is doing much, much better.  She doesn’t need another vascular appointment for 6 months and hopefully, after the next MRI, she won’t need another appointment for her hip for 6 months.  So what does this mean?  What it really means is that Keely can get on with her life.  YEAH!!!


I have to say though; I’ve really enjoyed having Keely around this summer.  I bet I’d be far more depressed about being an empty nester if I was actually an empty nester.  But I digress.


So, back to Keely.  She is thinking of moving to LA as in Los Angeles, which is great except she’s never been there before.  Therefore, she and I are going to visit LA in October and we’ll be staying with some friends of mine. She can check it out and see if she can deal with it and if she likes it.  After all, if you’ve ever been there you know that it’s not for everyone.


At any rate, upon talking to my friend I realized that I couldn’t just run around LA in gym shorts and t-shirts all the time.  Basically, the same problem I faced when I went to visit my cousin in London.  After realizing that I decided that the last thing I wanted was to have to pour myself into my “real” clothing so I decided to do something unusual.  At least it’s unusual for me.


I decided to go on an actual diet.  Now, although I could probably stand to lose about 20 pounds I really only want to lose 10.  I feel much better at that weight and that’s good enough for me.  I just want to be comfortable.  So with much trepidation I decided to go on the “flat-belly” diet because it’s basically a Mediterranean Diet, which is what I pretty much what I like anyways (although I think it’s the add-ons like Chocolate and stuff that normally get me into trouble.)


So I tell Keely that I’m going on the diet for a month and she decides to go on it with me.  Which is good … and bad.  I mean it’s good for her and it’s good to have a buddy to diet with but it’s bad because then I’m held accountable.  I hate being held accountable.  One of the advantages of being me is that I normally do whatever I want therefore if I fail I’ve only failed one person and that person is me.


So I look through the diet and it looks pretty easy except for the first four days.  They have this quick start thing that’s supposed to make you abruptly change your ways and is supposed to get you all happy and successful and get you going.  In other words, it’s damn hard.


Day One: yeah, I can’t do this for breakfast.  I’m definitely going to need to keep my normal protein shake for breakfast.  It’s taken me years to find something that works for me and I’m not changing that for anyone.  So at 7:00 I have my normal shake as a “substitute” for the other stuff.   I’m already deviating right?


I was bitching and moaning all day about the “cucumber water” and how I was “starving” when I noticed what Keely wrote on Andie’s Facebook wall:

Can you believe that?  Oh I forgot to tell you.  It was Rosh Hashanah and I haven’t been to services in years but each time I didn’t go something happened to Keely so I thought that maybe I should go this year.  Then I changed my mind because I was starving to death and I wanted to work out and I just figured that a new start was a new start right???


So, can you believe how mean my kids are to me?  By the way, I did make it through the day and now I’m on Day 2.  I’m bound and determined to make at least the 4-day jump start mostly because my kids don’t think I can.


It’s hard having all these doubters in my life ya know???

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  1. Dawn
    September 19, 2012

    Oh, Lynn, this is too funny! I, too, went on a “diet” this past summer (prior to our annual beach retreat). Like you, I also had “partners” (dammit!). And, like you, I don’t usually like to “diet” for mostly the same reasons as you (wait, I’m starting to creep myself out here. Are we the same person? Am I creepy? Am I making this s#*t up? Does anyone care?) OK, where was I? Oh, yes, the diet. Anyway, we decided to do the “no carb” thing, which sounded really easy. Until we started to try and eat. We ate lots of salad, tomatoes, and grilled chicken. Which is starting to sound really good right now, so I’ll just say good luck, you can do it (cause I did it, and, as we determined earlier, we are basically the same person, so there you have it) and now I’m going to go eat some lettuce and chicken.
    Oh, and one last thing – we decided that since gin and wine have no carbs we could still drink ’em. Hey, I didn’t say I was a martyr or anything….

    • Lynn
      September 19, 2012 that true??? I just have to make it through the first 4 days and i’m on day 3. I don’t mind having doppelgängers :))

      • Dawn
        September 20, 2012

        Yes – no carbs in gin :-) One of my favorite summertime beverages is gin, juice from half a lime and half a lemon, Splenda (or other sugar substitute) and top off with club soda. Enjoy!

  2. Julie
    September 19, 2012

    “I’m a strong believer in not being hungry.” CLASSIC!

    • Lynn
      September 19, 2012

      you can quote me if you like

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