This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i called her a moody bitch

So this is just typical.  I just came from the gym where I had a spin class.  The ENTIRE class I was thinking that I really, really wanted to go home and write.  I pulled into the garage, checked my phone messages and sat down at my computer and guess what?  I COULDN’T REMEMBER A FUCKING THING!  Yeah, I was considering writing about some water glasses (I know right? Aren’t you curious now?), or about this little bump on the roof of my mouth that’s driving me nuts so my tongue keeps going up there and it makes it hard to breathe so that I almost died in my spin class, or about this conversation I had on the way into spin class which went as follows:
 
SET UP:  I was getting out of my car and I opened the hatchback (I have an SUV.  Hahahaha.  I typed SUB at first. Yeah, I have a sub, one with nukes.  Oops, I digress) and was getting all my shit out of the back (you know, spin shoes, heart rate monitor … all the things a professional athlete like me requires) when a friend who I shall call  FRIEND called out to me.
 
FRIEND:            “Hey Lynn, how are you?”
 
Me:                    “Well you seem pretty cheerful today!”
 
FRIEND:             “Why wouldn’t I be?”
 
(Quick interjection here:  this friend, who is exactly my age (51), had her husband die of cancer in October so it’s been a difficult time for her.)
 
Me:                     “Well, I just thought that maybe the Holidays were difficult for you.  The first time always is.”
 
FRIEND:             “Actually, they weren’t too bad.  The debutante ball was actually much worse (her daughter is a debutante.  Yeah, I hang with debutantes and their moms.)
 
Me:                      “Oh, was that horrible?  Did you have your son escort her?”
 
FRIEND:               “Yeah, and a neighbor who is a close personal friend as well.”
 
Me:                      “My dad died 12 years ago the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and I can’t go through the holiday without that association. It’s taken a long time for it to be ‘fun’ again.  I’m impressed that you’re doing so well.”
 
FRIEND:                “Well, I’m stronger than I look”
 
By now we were walking into the spin room to claim our bikes and set them up and I said:
 
Me:                        “Well, you’re a moody bitch like me!”

INSERT BIG LONG PAUSE HERE  (We were in a room with about 15 other people, by the way).
 
FRIEND:                 “Lynn, I’ve only had one cup of coffee but DID YOU JUST CALL ME A MOODY BITCH?”
 
Me:                         “LIKE ME.  I said MOODY BITCH LIKE ME!”
 
Random person:     “I can’t believe you just said that”
 
Me:                         “IT WAS A COMPLIMENT!”
 
FRIEND:                 “Oh, I know it was.  HAHAHA.  I know you.  Only you would think calling somebody a moody bitch is a compliment”
 
So, that’s how my day started, how was yours?

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16 Comments

  1. Karla Telega
    December 14, 2010

    Oh, sign me up for moody bitchdom! In the blog post I’m writing right now, I refer to it as being an ass…like me.

    • Lynn
      December 14, 2010

      Hahaha…I suppose that it was funny because SOOOOO many other people were around and heard it. I’ve been working out at this gym for a long time so these women knew me. I once explained to one of them that ” when I drink I lose my filter” and the person responded “I didn’t know that you had a filter”. Hahahaha

  2. Nicki
    December 14, 2010

    Love the new layout!! My friend and I call eachother “Dirty Skank Whore” all the time as a term of endearment! Hey..love hurts!

    • Lynn
      December 14, 2010

      hahaha…that’s a funny term of endearment. Anybody who KNOWS me is also used to me. It was the other people around who reacted funny! THanks for checking me out…as always!

  3. Samantha
    December 14, 2010

    My friends and I call each other bitches all the time. Its like a badge of honour. LMAO @ the random person interjecting.

    • Lynn
      December 14, 2010

      Yeah…i made the comment in front of a bunch of other people. That’s why it was so, so funny! THanks for commenting.

  4. Theresa Sonoda
    December 14, 2010

    Sounded like sweet, caring, compassionate and loving friendship talk to me. Being a Bitch is an honor that most of us have earned and we wear the name proudly. “Moody” is just icing.

    • Lynn
      December 14, 2010

      Moody is how I roll! Today I’ve gone from happy to pissed and back to happy again. Thanks so much for commenting…it seems there’s a lot of proud bitches out there!

  5. Renee
    December 14, 2010

    We are all moody bitches. It’s standard on all models.
    And I am personally quite proud of my bitchy self.

    • Lynn
      December 14, 2010

      Just like my bumper sticker says “You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing”. I like it too! Yeahhhhh for all us bitches!

  6. ragemichelle
    December 14, 2010

    Honestly, any one of us who can’t handle being called a bitch from time to time needs to turn in her girl card.

    If I couldn’t spend a big portion of my day being a moody bitch, my head would pop off my shoulders.

    • Lynn
      December 14, 2010

      Hahaha…this woman wasn’t offended. She thought it was funny that I called her that. Some of the onlookers were surprised though. Thanks for the comment?

  7. Emma Jayne
    December 16, 2010

    A blogger friend directed me to a post she wrote about loving to give blow jobs so I decided to call her the Happy C*cksucker”. All is fair in blogging and ho’ships.

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      hahaha…nice nickname!

  8. aweber promo code
    February 10, 2011

    Have you given any thought at all with converting your blog into Spanish? I know a several of translaters here which would help you do it for no cost if you want to contact me personally.

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      Isn’t there just a translator people can get on their own co outer? I’ve never thought about it

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