This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i can’t sleep

Shit!  I woke up at 5:15 this morning and of course I couldn’t go back to sleep.  Lately, I’ve been having trouble sleeping and it’s pissing me off.  As I lay there resenting my husband for being asleep I started thinking about the myriad of reasons that I haven’t been sleeping well.

 

1                 It’s entirely possible that my meds are all kinds of fucked up.  However, when I attempted to go down on them because I was going sorta crazy, I started getting depressed and I decided that being crazy and not sleeping trumped being depressed and sleeping so I stayed where I was.

 

2                 It could be the chocolate.  Yep, I’ve been drinking chocolate protein shakes, eating chocolate candy and consuming chocolate ice cream.  This chocolate has a lot of caffeine and possibly that could be the problem.  But, if I quit the chocolate then I would accidentally lose some weight and then I’d start looking good and then people would have expectations of me and then I’d start thinking about my looks and then I’d would worry that I was starting to age and then I’d probably have to go get some Botox and I don’t want to go get some Botox because the thought of having dead shit in my face is unnerving and they use a giant needle to inject it so that’s such a slippery slope and I don’t even want to go there so forget about quitting chocolate…that’s just a dangerous path to go down.

 

3                 It could be the economy.  Now of course I don’t work but my husband does and our company is in the housing industry and the housing industry sucks because no one is building houses so Kevin has worries and when Kevin has worries I feel bad being completely narcissistic and I feel like I need to pay some attention to him and that’s so unusual that it just takes me out of my game, you know?

 

4                 Daniel is starting to look at colleges.  Why should I care?  Because in just 1 ½ years I will have all three of my kids gone so the fact that I’ve been a stay at home mom for 23 years at that point is not lost on me.  So what then, what do I do with myself? How do I identify myself?  These are big issues but I really don’t want to think about them because that s what my shrink is there for, right?

 

5                 My blog?  What am I doing with this and where am I going. Every time I take one step then I have another idea and pretty soon my fantasy life has spun out of control and then I start thinking what the fuck am I doing and how is this going to affect everybody and how much time do I want to invest in this but then I meet some new people and I get excited all over again and I wonder if it isn’t ironic that the idea of writing a blog to start a book about being an underachiever will become the greatest achievement of my life?

 

6                 My world?  My entire world has expanded.  I don’t think you know this but I got online last summer because I was part of a “fandom” which is a group of people who like a show, or a couple, or a movie, or a certain book or group of books.  At any rate, it’s a group of people with something in common.  I became involved in a fandom last summer, met some great people and honestly, without them I wouldn’t be blogging because they encouraged me. However, a lot the fiction is so damn angsty that it turns my stomach upside down.

 

7                 Perhaps I’m just TOO DAMN OLD!

 

So, I’m sure there are more reasons but honestly, I’m on my third cup of coffee and my hands are shaking and I can barely type so I’m going to do something else now.  If any of you can figure out why I can’t sleep, let me know, ok?  Thanks

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24 Comments

  1. Abby
    March 30, 2011

    Sorry I stole your sleep last night. ;) It was the first night in three days that I actually /rested./ Don’t hate my face.

    Tell you what, next manic phase, you can have all my sleeping hours. <3

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      I slept pretty well last night too so sweet for us!!!

  2. Abby
    March 30, 2011

    Oh, I keep forgetting you write your posts ahead of time.

    Filthy overachiever. Making me look bad.

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      yeah, but i haven’t written in a week so it all evens out in the wash

  3. Lady Estrogen
    March 30, 2011

    For some reason, I read that really fast – like how I’m sure you were saying it – like a crazed hamster spinning his little wheel. HAHA.
    Awe… my mom gets insomnia a lot lately too… she’s 55.
    Is this the shit I get to look forward to? LOL
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..Im Not PerfectMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      omg…i could be your mom. would you like me for your mom? you would have driven me nuts as my kid you wild ass sex fiend

      • Lady Estrogen
        March 30, 2011

        I was a fucking stealth slut – totally under the radar.
        You would never have known; nor did she.
        x

        • Lynn
          March 30, 2011

          I would have known…i’m the mom who knows EVERYTHING…

  4. liz
    March 30, 2011

    Never before have I heard of anyone complaining they may “accidentally lose some weight!”

    Sucks getting old, eh?

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      it does suck getting old…but didn’t the part about botox make you giggle? didn’t it? huh?

  5. Queen Mahin
    March 30, 2011

    My head is spinning! I hate when the worries jumble up together and turn into an endless loop. I’m not quite there yet, but definitely identifying with you on the kids going off to college. I just wrote about the fact that my kid is getting older and I’m not quite sure what my life is going to be when she is off on new adventures.
    Also feeling you on the expanding world. After resisting forever, I’m *just* starting to branch into social media stuff. Maybe that’s why my head is spinning!
    Cheers!
    Queen Mahin recently posted..Is This the Best PartMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      yeah…i feel like it should get better but it doesn’t seem to…it just seems like the reasons you can’t sleep change

  6. Jessica
    March 30, 2011

    Botox…no way. Quitting chocolate…no way.

    I’m not much help with sleep suggestions because I am always sleep deprived. It has just become part of who I am.

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      i’m definitely not doing botox…or quitting chocolate so i guess that i won’t sleep ever

  7. JoAnn Candelaria
    March 30, 2011

    You had me at “Shit! I woke up at 5:15 this morning and of course I couldn’t go back to sleep.” I could barely get through the rest of the post. When you find out why, please let me know because I have the same experience from time-to-time.

    I’m so glad I discovered your blog!

    JoAnn

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      hey there and welcome aboard. So you have the same problem huh? doesn’t it suck? i’m sleepy but i can’t sleep!!! damn

      • JoAnn Candelaria
        March 30, 2011

        What sucks worse than not sleeping is getting back into a nice, deep sleep 15 minutes before the alarm goes off.

        • Lynn
          March 30, 2011

          i hate that too!

  8. Kelley
    March 30, 2011

    Blame the damn weather. It’s blasphemous to imply that it could be too much chocolate.

    • Lynn
      March 30, 2011

      Hahaha…not to worry, I’m not quitting chocolate!

  9. Jodee
    March 31, 2011

    Feeling your pain, as I sit here listening to Husband snoring not-so-gently beside me. My meds are definitely fucked up and I drank a big ol’ glass of tea a couple of hours ago and the caffeine buzz has got my hands shaking so that I can hardly type and all of my kids have up and left the nest. What to do, what to do? When you figure it out, please let me know. I’ll do the same if I figure it out first.

    • Lynn
      March 31, 2011

      Well, the tea was a huge mistake no doubt! I’ll let you know and I must say, apparently I’m not alone with this problem!

  10. Harriet
    March 31, 2011

    I so feel your pain when it comes to not sleeping!!! I’m having real problems at the moment and I’m trying to shock myself back into a normal sleeping pattern by staying up as late as possible and forcing myself to get up really early but its so not working! Its so annoying, its driving me mad!
    Harriet recently posted..25 More Debt Written Off By BanksMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 31, 2011

      Don’t you hate that? Once it’s messed up it’s so difficult to fix! Good luck

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