This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i continue my courtship with Kevin

If you haven’t read about my first date with Kevin, you might want to go here first:

As you may recall, after our first date I booted Kevin out of the apartment at 4:00 AM and sent him out into a driving rainstorm.  I was going on a business trip to Mobile, Alabama the next day from Monday to Wednesday and then I was flying to Los Angeles to spend the weekend celebrating my birthday with friends.
Now remember, this is before they invented cell phones, so after giving Kevin the name and phone number of the hotel I was staying in, he said he would call me on Tuesday evening after he got home from work.  Things were going well. I was down there teaching a class on computers to a bunch of computer illiterate people and before I knew it, it was Tuesday. I was pretty excited that Kevin would be calling until I realized that I had no idea when he was going to call.  After all, I was already one time zone behind so what happened if he called and I wasn’t in my room to answer?  So of course, me being me, I worked myself into a state of extreme agitation and decided that I couldn’t risk going out to dinner and maybe I would just order room service and watch TV and wait for the call.
Having made a most excellent plan, I set things into motion.  I ordered room service and a couple of beers and set out to wait for the upcoming call from my future husband.  I had the dinner and the beers, turned on the TV and of course, there wasn’t anything worth watching on.  These were the days before five million cable channels and when I say there wasn’t anything worth watching, I mean THERE WASN’T SHIT ON!  I ended up watching baseball, for god’s sake.  Well, you can’t sit around watching the most boring thing on Earth (It was the Braves and I’m not even a Braves fan) without some alcohol, so of course, I ordered more beers.
So I’m watching the game … and waiting.  And drinking.  And waiting.  And drinking some more.  And starting to get impatient.  Now, you may notice that impatience is a common theme in many of my stories.  I have absolutely no ability to wait.  It drives me FUCKING CRAZY!  I’m also ridiculously impulsive.  At any rate, after quite a few beers I decided to hell with it, and called Kevin.
 Kevin:             “Hello”
Me:                 “Hey … how’s it going?”
Kevin:             “Lynn?  Wasn’t I supposed to call you?”
Me:                 “Yeah, well, I can’t wait forever now can I”?

Kevin:             “What?”

Me:                 “I CAN’T WAIT AROUND FOREVER!”
Kevin:             “It’s not that late here on the East Coast”
Me:                 “Well, it’s even less late here, but I’ve been waiting for an hour already and I’m pretty bored with it.”
Kevin:             “Well I just got home from work…”

Me:                 “…and…”

Kevin:             “Lynn, have you been drinking?”

Me:                 “Maybe a little”

Kevin:             “Maybe a little?”

Me:                 “Well…maybe a little more than a little…”
Kevin was thinking, “What the fuck is wrong with this chick?”  But I’m feeling no pain because I’m bored, drunk, in Mobile, Alabama and to top it off, watching some stupid baseball game on TV.  I wish I could remember the rest of the conversation but at the best of times, I have a shit memory and as I’ve previously mentioned, I had been drinking.  

At any rate, I guess I didn’t scare him away because we made plans to get together when I got back to New York and he wished me a happy birthday and said he hoped I had fun in LA.
So there you are!  The second chapter in the amazing saga of “Lynn Procton (maiden name) Catches a Man.”  I guess my incredible charm worked because I saw him when I got back and I’ve been seeing him ever since.  I mean seriously, who could resist conversations like that?

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  1. Theresa Sonoda
    December 28, 2010

    Awwwwwwwww. I needed a romantic story today. :-)

    • Lynn
      December 28, 2010

      Hahaha…thanks. Just thought I’d throw a little story in there. I hope you’re doing ok…are you?

  2. LilPixi
    January 4, 2011

    How freakin’ cute are you, mama?! What a doll!!

    • Lynn
      January 4, 2011

      Well…that pic was a long time ago…but my personality certainly hasnt changed

  3. BFF
    January 5, 2011

    Hey……maybe you should collaborate with the actors in “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and instead of having the D.E.N.N.I.S System, you could prove how the L.Y.N.N System works! HAHA! You are so “funny”!!!!

    • Lynn
      January 5, 2011

      How did I NOT know you were an Always Sunny fan…no wonder we are BFF’s…that is, when you’re not floating around the world ignoring me.

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