This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i could’ve died


Let me preface this post by saying that I almost died this morning. I’ll get to that in a bit.


Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day and the weather was awful.  Now I live in North Carolina and by now, we’re supposed to be having spring, SPRING!!! Instead we had freezing rain, sleet and snow so of course everything was closed and we were stuck inside all day.


My dog, as you know, is scared of all the “crunch” when he goes out in ice and snow so predictably, he dumped on the sidewalk because god forbid he walk the extra 6 inches into the grass.


So I woke up and got dressed and went to take out the dog.  When I got to the front door I saw that my Uggs had been moved.  Now Kevin and I were asleep so that only left the dog and the cat as the culprits. The Uggs are actually larger than Butterscotch so that meant that Tucker was up to something.


He was.  He ate the shoelaces. My Uggs have long, leather shoelaces and I supposed Tucker has watched “Lady and the Tramp” one too many times and he thinks they’re spaghetti so he ate them.  Well, either that or he’s actually campaigning for me to put him to sleep.  Believe me, I’m actually considering it.


Then I went and got the paper, had my breakfast and set off to go spinning.  The roads seemed pretty fine although wet but when I got to this one light I hit a patch of black ice and “holy shit” my car just started sliding.


Normally this would be no big deal but I was sliding down a hill into a major road.  Oh yeah, and there were four cars coming.  So I figured I would get broad sided and that would be the end of me but just before I got to the road my tires grabbed and I stopped.


Man I miss my old car. I know that they say that on ice it doesn’t matter but this shit never happened in my LandCruiser or Lexus … just saying.


So then I informed Kevin that he was lucky I wasn’t dead and he wasn’t as thrilled as you would think leading me to believe that I’m totally unappreciated in my family.


I made it home fine and now I’m here and I’m at the computer writing this here post and I bet you guys appreciate me.


Here are some thoughts though:


Where is the plane?


Why can’t they get their information correct?


How can they keep changing their minds?


Why do I care?


How come people make a big deal of only having one space after a period? When I took typing in high school (yes, that was actually a course back then) two spaces were mandatory. Do you know how difficult a habit that is to break? If you’re used to two spaces it’s difficult to go to one.


Why are my fish so fucking massive?


Do I need a new tank?


Do you wanna hear about the tigers?


Done …

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  1. Julie
    March 19, 2014

    I will always and forever be a two space gal. And I too, am hopelessly intrigued by the mystery surrounding the plane.

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2014

      I know…and it’s so frustrating because theres actually no NEW news…

  2. chacha1
    March 19, 2014

    yikes, glad the slide stopped in time. That is some scary shit.

    Also, hope the dog poops the shoelaces without incident.

    I almost died a couple of weeks ago. :-) Was walking to my bank and almost got run over by some silly bitch who ran a red light. She stopped, like, two feet away from me. I don’t usually refer to my fellow women by nasty pejoratives, but seriously.
    chacha1 recently posted..the part-time writerMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 20, 2014

      woah! close call…glad that didn’t end you :)

  3. Ms. Cindy
    March 23, 2014

    First of all, you’re appreciated. Second, I am glad you weren’t in an accident. Third, I have to shovel a path for my high maintenance dog to poo. Fourth, I am trying to break the habit of two spaces after a period as well when I write online. I am an executive assistant, so when I type letters for my boss, I still use the two spaces because of typing class. I feel like I live two lives. Fifth, Courtney Love figured out where the plane is, so why don’t they just investigate? She is only trying to help: (I think I may die laughing if she is right.)

    • Lynn
      March 24, 2014

      as if Courtney Love could EVER be right…thanks for appreciating me!!

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