This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
I haven’t written a post all week and it’s weird because I’ve actually had a ton of very funny conversations. Of course, I think I might be suffering from dementia because I can’t seem to remember anything EXCEPT that they were funny and we were laughing. Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to ramble like I tend to do anyway.
Although I haven’t really discussed it here, Keely got a spot of bad news in the sense that she has ANOTHER tumor in her pelvis and we’re not exactly sure on what’s going to happen down the road. Because they aren’t sure how aggressive the tumor is they are going to wait a few months and do another MRI and then we’ll decided a protocol for treatment…most likely surgery.
Of course, being that Keely is a senior and looking for a job the thought of having major surgery hanging over her head is quite stressful. Therefore, Keely decided to come home and get a bit of love from the parental units. (That would be Kevin and myself)
Now, Kevin and I had planned on going to see Contagion so Keely and Daniel decided to join us. I don’t want to spoil the plot for you but there’s this VIRUS that kills millions of people.
One of the ways people survived was by staying in their houses and not going out. Also, as time went on people lost their humanity and starting attacking other people for food, medicine, supplies, etc. You can just imagine. At any rate, after the movie Keely, Kevin and I had the following conversation.
Me: I’m going to have to revamp my entire survival plan
Kevin: What do you mean?
Me: I mean, I don’t have a gun and I definitely am going to need a gun to keep people from killing us over the supplies
Keely: what supplies mom? You barely keep any food in the house now
Kevin: That’s a good point. Our family is already starving to death
Me: I think I need to stock up on food and water and then get a gun so when people attack me I can defend myself from them
Keely: I won’t get sick anyways
Kevin: What are you talking about Keely?
Me: Yeah Keely, you’re always sick and always breaking yourself. That’s why you’re going to lose the MacDonald Family Hunger games.
(NOTE TO READER: That is an ENTIRELY different post which I totally need to write up)
Keely: yeah, I get sick but I’m tough. I’m like a cockroach. You can’t kill me.
Kevin: wow… that’s some kind of description
And then we all cracked up.
Then the next day, I was repeating the conversation to Andie when we had the following conversation:
Me: … and then Keely said she was a cockroach
Andie: she is totally going to die first. Why does she think she can survive?
Me: she’s definitely going down first in the MACDONALD family Hunger Games
Andie: yeah, she’ll probably die just falling into the game
Me: yeah
Andie: Daniel will die second …
Me: especially cuz he hasn’t read the book and doesn’t know what to do
Andie: he’s not heartless enough either
Me: I definitely need a gun though
Andie: I thought you wanted a crossbow
Me: that’ll never work in a post viral world where I have to defend our house quickly
Andie: what do you need to defend?
Me: well, all our food and water
Andie: mom, we NEVER have food in this house
Me: I know, I need to prepare. I might have to stock up.
Andie: actually, that gives us an advantage
Me: how so
Andie: well, you’ve always been a lousy provider so we MacDonald kids have learned to survive starvation already and we can forage so we’ll already be tougher than the other people due to your extremely poor parenting skills
Me: ha! I knew that my parenting style would eventually come in handy
Andie: that’s right! Being told ‘tough, figure it out yourself’ makes us have a higher chance of survival
Me: wow. I’m incredible then!
Andie: It won’t happen like that anyways
Me: why
Andie: Well, I’ve been in my infectious diseases class at Duke for one week (she’s pre-med) and that’s not how viruses spread.
Me: … and that’s why you’ll die. Because you don’t prepare for the future.
Andie: Mom, you have the dumbest conversations.
Me: … and your point is?
And that’s why it is wonderful to be married to an engineer because he is prepared for every catastrophe!!! Only problem is that I am going to be screwed when the catastrophe happens when he’s not around because he tells me that it is too dangerous to run the generator by myself :(
nope….Kevin isn’t the one who’s prepared. I AM! He’s just lucky he lives with me.
You know, you should really bring the kids down with you when you visit ;)
Altho you may never live down my well stocked pantry and three overflowing fridge’s … on the plus side your foraging children would know they could move in here and with their extreme parenting life skills – they would assure my safety!
By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Foursquare. My Version.
hahaha…i could never get all my kids together at one time…they would be impressed with the amount of food you have though
I am so glad I am not the only one who thinks of these things! Of what it would be like if the world went all “Fallout 3” and what would we do. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter’s tumor. Warm wishes, and thoughts to you!
i spend an inordinate amount of time dwelling on apocalyptic scenarios
Check out these guys for disaster survival/apocalypse ideas: http://www.zombiehunters.org
There’s a chapter near you, I think….
One of the Sarahs recently posted..Young at heart, huh?
ok, i’ll see what i can do! gotta get ready right?
If nothing else, it’s an entertaining way to waste a little time.
and i’m all about wasting time
I don’t think I am prepared.
Stopping from Time Travel Tuesday!
better get on that then
Stopping by from Time Travel Tuesday.
HILARIOUS post…. I would definitely forgo the bow and arrow in a contagion environment. But if I’m kickin’ it with Peeta? Hand over the quiver and let’s DO THIS.
why thank you!!!