This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i defend my supplies

I haven’t written a post all week and it’s weird because I’ve actually had a ton of very funny conversations.  Of course, I think I might be suffering from dementia because I can’t seem to remember anything EXCEPT that they were funny and we were laughing.  Oh, well.  I guess I’ll just have to ramble like I tend to do anyway.

 

Although I haven’t really discussed it here, Keely got a spot of bad news in the sense that she has ANOTHER tumor in her pelvis and we’re not exactly sure on what’s going to happen down the road.  Because they aren’t sure how aggressive the tumor is they are going to wait a few months and do another MRI and then we’ll decided a protocol for treatment…most likely surgery.

 

Of course, being that Keely is a senior and looking for a job the thought of having major surgery hanging over her head is quite stressful.  Therefore, Keely decided to come home and get a bit of love from the parental units.  (That would be Kevin and myself)

 

Now, Kevin and I had planned on going to see Contagion so Keely and Daniel decided to join us.  I don’t want to spoil the plot for you but there’s this VIRUS that kills millions of people.

 

One of the ways people survived was by staying in their houses and not going out.  Also, as time went on people lost their humanity and starting attacking other people for food, medicine, supplies, etc.  You can just imagine.  At any rate, after the movie Keely, Kevin and I had the following conversation.

 

Me:                  I’m going to have to revamp my entire survival plan

Kevin:             What do you mean?

Me:                  I mean, I don’t have a gun and I definitely am going to need a gun to keep people from killing us over the supplies

Keely:             what supplies mom? You barely keep any food in the house now

Kevin:             That’s a good point.  Our family is already starving to death

Me:                  I think I need to stock up on food and water and then get a gun so when people attack me I can defend myself from them

Keely:             I won’t get sick anyways

Kevin:             What are you talking about Keely?

Me:                  Yeah Keely, you’re always sick and always breaking yourself.  That’s why you’re going to lose the MacDonald Family Hunger games.

 

(NOTE TO READER: That is an ENTIRELY different post which I totally need to write up)

 

Keely:             yeah, I get sick but I’m tough.  I’m like a cockroach.  You can’t kill me.

Kevin:             wow… that’s some kind of description

 

And then we all cracked up.

 

Then the next day, I was repeating the conversation to Andie when we had the following conversation:

 

Me:                  … and then Keely said she was a cockroach

Andie:             she is totally going to die first.  Why does she think she can survive?

Me:                  she’s definitely going down first in the MACDONALD family Hunger Games

Andie:             yeah, she’ll probably die just falling into the game

Me:                  yeah

Andie:             Daniel will die second …

Me:                  especially cuz he hasn’t read the book and doesn’t know what to do

Andie:             he’s not heartless enough either

Me:                  I definitely need a gun though

Andie:             I thought you wanted a crossbow

Me:                  that’ll never work in a post viral world where I have to defend our house quickly

Andie:             what do you need to defend?

Me:                  well, all our food and water

Andie:             mom, we NEVER have food in this house

Me:                  I know, I need to prepare.  I might have to stock up.

Andie:             actually, that gives us an advantage

Me:                  how so

Andie:             well, you’ve always been a lousy provider so we MacDonald kids have learned to survive starvation already and we can forage so we’ll already be tougher than the other people due to your extremely poor parenting skills

Me:                  ha! I knew that my parenting style would eventually come in handy

Andie:             that’s right! Being told ‘tough, figure it out yourself’ makes us have a higher chance of survival

Me:                  wow.  I’m incredible then!

Andie:             It won’t happen like that anyways

Me:                  why

Andie:             Well, I’ve been in my infectious diseases class at Duke for one week (she’s pre-med) and that’s not how viruses spread.

Me:                  … and that’s why you’ll die.  Because you don’t prepare for the future.

Andie:             Mom, you have the dumbest conversations.

Me:                  … and your point is?

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14 Comments

  1. Katja Brown
    September 19, 2011

    And that’s why it is wonderful to be married to an engineer because he is prepared for every catastrophe!!! Only problem is that I am going to be screwed when the catastrophe happens when he’s not around because he tells me that it is too dangerous to run the generator by myself :(

    • Lynn
      September 19, 2011

      nope….Kevin isn’t the one who’s prepared. I AM! He’s just lucky he lives with me.

  2. By Word of Mouth Musings
    September 19, 2011

    You know, you should really bring the kids down with you when you visit ;)
    Altho you may never live down my well stocked pantry and three overflowing fridge’s … on the plus side your foraging children would know they could move in here and with their extreme parenting life skills – they would assure my safety!
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Foursquare. My Version.My Profile

    • Lynn
      September 19, 2011

      hahaha…i could never get all my kids together at one time…they would be impressed with the amount of food you have though

  3. kelly fox
    September 19, 2011

    I am so glad I am not the only one who thinks of these things! Of what it would be like if the world went all “Fallout 3” and what would we do. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter’s tumor. Warm wishes, and thoughts to you!

    • Lynn
      September 19, 2011

      i spend an inordinate amount of time dwelling on apocalyptic scenarios

  4. One of the Sarahs
    September 20, 2011

    Check out these guys for disaster survival/apocalypse ideas: http://www.zombiehunters.org
    There’s a chapter near you, I think….
    One of the Sarahs recently posted..Young at heart, huh?My Profile

    • Lynn
      September 20, 2011

      ok, i’ll see what i can do! gotta get ready right?

      • One of the Sarahs
        September 20, 2011

        If nothing else, it’s an entertaining way to waste a little time.

        • Lynn
          September 20, 2011

          and i’m all about wasting time

  5. Name *
    October 4, 2011

    I don’t think I am prepared.

    Stopping from Time Travel Tuesday!

    • Lynn
      October 4, 2011

      better get on that then

  6. Ryan (The Woven Moments)
    October 4, 2011

    Stopping by from Time Travel Tuesday.

    HILARIOUS post…. I would definitely forgo the bow and arrow in a contagion environment. But if I’m kickin’ it with Peeta? Hand over the quiver and let’s DO THIS.

    • Lynn
      October 4, 2011

      why thank you!!!

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