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In which i didn’t shoot skeet

I have a hundred things I should be doing but instead I’m sitting at my computer attempting to write a post.  I say attempting because Keely made me go run an errand with her and as a result, she’s taken me completely out of my zone therefore, this post could very well suck.

 

This morning at spinning I decided that I would poll the women there and find out what they received for a Mother’s Day gift.  Can you sense where this post is headed?  At any rate, these are some of the gifts that my fellow spinners received.

 

One:                I got a day at a Spa

 

Two:                I got a mani/pedi

 

Three:             My kids planted some flowers for me and then my eldest child made me a music CD

 

Two:                Lynn, I can sense a blog post about this topic

 

Four:               My kids made personalized notes to me

 

Five:                I received Shari’s Berries

 

Me:                  ummm what are those?

 

Five:                They’re strawberries dipped in chocolate and they’re amazing

 

Six:                  I received champagne and cookies

 

At any rate, you get the drift.  And then it came; the question you’ve all been dying to ask.

 

All:                  Why Lynn, what did you get for Mother’s Day?

 

Me:                  I got a double-barreled nerf shotgun

 

All:                   Ummm… (huge silence in the room) … what?

 

Me:                  A DOUBLE BARRELED NERF SHOTGUN

 

All:                   How, why, what was your family thinking? …

 

 

FLASHBACK TO SATURDAY

 

We were watching the Kentucky Derby when a commercial came on about the “Official Truck of the Kentucky Derby”.  Now just the fact that they have an official truck for the Kentucky Derby is amazing but believe me, they do.  At any rate, in the commercial a man was in the wilderness when there was a bird making a ton of noise.  I turned to Kevin and said, “man, that’s like the stupid birds at our house.”

 

Then the man walked to his truck (The Official Truck of the Kentucky Derby no less), got out a bow and shot the bird.  I cracked up because I always want to do that too.

 

… and then, the following conversation then took place:

 

Me:                  That’s what I want for Mother’s Day

 

Andie:             What?

 

Me:                  A crossbow

 

Andie:             When is Mother’s Day?

 

Me:                  Tomorrow

 

Andie:             Why do you want a crossbow?

 

Me:                  I told you at Christmas I wanted a crossbow in that conversation we had at lunch that day.

 

Andie:             That was a funny conversation but I thought you were kidding.

 

Me:                  Nope

 

Kevin:             No Lynn, you want a compound bow.

 

Daniel:            Yeah Mom, you keep getting your bows messed up.

 

Me:                  I better Google them  then.

 

(… and so I did to learn the pros and cons of Crossbows versus Compound bows)

 

Andie:             Why do you want one anyways?

 

Me:                  They’re so cool and I know I’d be awesome at it.  I was incredible in archery in 10th grade.

 

Andie:             10th grade mom?

 

Me:                  Yeah, plus in all those post apocalyptic movies they have bows so they can survive.  I have to get to work on my survival skills for the End of Days.

 

Andie:             You’re ridiculous

 

Me:                  … and also, Alan and Mark (friends of the kids) said they’d take me skeet shooting.

 

Andie:             Why would you want to do that?

 

Me:                  I grew up watching James Bond and he always went skeet shooting.  I’m sure I’d be awesome when they said PULL and then I tracked the clay and shot it.

 

Daniel:            You’ll be terrible at that Mom.

 

Kevin:             I don’t want to be anywhere near you when you have a gun in your hand.

 

Lynn:              You guys have no faith in me.  Well, since Mother’s Day is tomorrow and you didn’t get what I wanted, I want a crossbow for my birthday. (which is in June)

 

So on Sunday, we’re all sitting around when Andie says to Kevin:

 

Andie:             Hey, should we give mom her Mother’s Day present?

 

Kevin:             Sure, lets do it

 

Andie:             Mom, we’re taking you skeet shooting.

 

Me:                  What?  Are you serious?

 

(Honestly, I’m so excited here that I’m going nuts.  This is going to be the best day of my life!)

 

Me:                  Let me go put on sneakers instead of flip flops so I don’t mess with my skills.  I can’t believe this.  BEST. PRESENT. EVER.

 

(So I go put on my shoes and I come out and Andie hands me this gun.  NOT A REAL GUN but a double-barreled Nerf shotgun … and some toys that they’re going to throw in the air as “skeet”)

 

Me:                  What is this?

 

Andie:             This is your present for skeet shooting.

 

Me:                  Where’s my gun?

 

Andie:             This is your gun!

 

Me:                  You mean, we’re not really going skeet shooting?

 

Andie:             What, you don’t like it? We got you a gun and some shooting clays.

 

Me:                  I thought we were really going skeet shooting.

 

Kevin:             Unbelievable, your mother thought we were taking her shooting…for real!

 

Andie:             OMG…look at her.  She’s disappointed in the best present ever!

 

Me:                  I really wanted to get good at shooting.  I can’t believe it.  What a letdown.

 

Andie:             Look at her, she’s really disappointed.

 

Kevin:             Hahaha, let’s go outside.

 

So we go outside and put the gun together and it’s like a double action shotgun with extra nerf pellets.  I practice and I’m terrible.  Kevin throws the toy up in the air and I miss by a mile and decide that I’d rather just shoot my family and kids which I then proceed to do.

 

Andie takes a turn and then proclaims herself to be much better than me at shooting.  Personally, I don’t think so and there’s no way she’s spent years practicing to be a spy like I have.

 

Andie:             I’m better than you.

 

Me:                  No you’re not.

 

Andie:             Did you think you’d be good at it Mom?

 

Me:                  In my head, I’m awesome at this stuff.

 

Andie:             OMG… I can’t believe you’re my mother.

 

Then it was time to go to my brothers for a cookout.  We decided to park in the back so I could sneak around and shoot him while he was grilling which I did and then I decided that very possibly, this was the BEST MOTHER’S DAY PRESENT EVER.

 

But, I’m still going to be pissed if I don’t get a Crossbow (or a compound bow) for my birthday.

 

I’m just saying…

 

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10 Comments

  1. Alison@Mama Wants This
    May 12, 2011

    Haha your kids are a riot!

    So, have you been practicing with the Nerf?
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Writers Workshop- Verbal diarrhea and the memory of an elephantMy Profile

    • Lynn
      May 12, 2011

      Not nearly enough…I’m still planning on going Skeet Shooting and also, i want my bow for my birthday

  2. Melody
    May 12, 2011

    Sounds vaguely like the year I asked for a chainsaw for mothers day.

    • Lynn
      May 12, 2011

      You can’t even imagine the presents I’ve gotten over the years…i should write a post about them. I don’t have a chainsaw though

  3. Pamela D Hart
    May 12, 2011

    LOL! You need to go get an Air Soft Rifle and shoot them with THAT! It leaves little welts on your butt (if that’s what you’re aiming for!).

    I remember your compound bow wish/post because I told you I want one too! And yes, I’m still waiting. My b-day is in July…maybe we should buy one for each other’s b-days! If we wait for our damn familes we’ll be too old and weak to pick them up!

    And hey, sorry I’ve been MIA, I have a prom and graduation/going away party I’ve been planning. PITA kids. lol.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Pam Please DontMy Profile

    • Lynn
      May 12, 2011

      it’s all good…not to worry. I do need an Air Rifle…although now i’m looking forward to my Compound Bow for my birthday.

  4. Jen Anderson
    May 12, 2011

    I love Nerf weapons! They add to every family occasion. My family still talks about the time my brother and my cousin Kristin had an epic nerf gun battle on Christmas.

    • Lynn
      May 12, 2011

      Yeah, they’re fun and having unorthodox presents are fun too!!!

  5. Julie Bernucci@gmail.com
    May 13, 2011

    Great post

    • Lynn
      May 14, 2011

      Thanks

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