This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which I shock my mother in law

 

Today I’m going to discuss circumcisions.  Specifically my views on circumcision and a conversation I had regarding such views.  Now, this conversation took place quite some time ago so I’m going to try to tell the story without actually offending the people in the story.  I’m not too concerned about offending you, the readers, because a) I don’t know you and b) even if I do know you I don’t care and 3) it’s my blog and I can damn well discuss what I like because d) you can stop reading this whenever you want.  But you won’t because this story is HILARIOUS.
 
So, about 20 some odd years ago when Kevin and I had just gotten married but BEFORE we had kids, we were having a conversation with Kevin’s parents and the conversation turned to circumcision.  Someone, who shall not be named (that sounds like Voldemort doesn’t it….”He Who Shall Not Be Named”), had a little boy and the parents had decided that the child shouldn’t be circumcised and the following conversation took place:
 
Key:    Me (that’s me).  MIL (that’s my mother-in-law).  BOY (boy infant in question)
 
MIL:                “They (the parent’s) have decided not to circumcise BOY”
 
Me:                 “They need to circumcise him”
 
MIL:                “No Lynn, they’ve done a lot of research and they’ve decided not to”
 
Me:                 “He definitely needs to be circumcised!”

(Kevin is starting to look concerned as he watches the typical verbal tennis match between his mother and I – we argue about everything.  Kevin’s dad is quietly listening but not commenting)
 
MIL:                “Things have changed Lynn.  There is a lot of medical research now that says that circumcision isn’t necessary”
 
Me:                 “I’m telling you.  It is necessary.  The kid needs to be circumcised”

(Now Kevin’s dad is starting to squirm around.  His face is going redder … and redder …  Kevin is starting to get uncomfortable and is looking at me concerned)
 
MIL:                “I’m not sure that you’re aware of all the new research Lynn”
 
Me:                 “The hell with the research.  He needs to be circumcised”
 
MIL:                (Starting to get visibly upset…agitated even) “Why? Why do you keep saying that Lynn?”
 
Me:                 “It’s just really important”

MIL:                “WHY?  WHY LYNN, WHY?”
 
Me:                 “Why MIL?  I’ll tell you why!”
 
(OK, Kevin’s starting to panic.  I can see his face going white.  You never know what’s going to come out of my mouth at this point and I was in my 20’s without the incredible self-control that I now exhibit)

Me:                  “are you sure you want to know?”

(Kevin is really scared and his dad is beginning to turn purple…)

 Me:                “Because Allison” (wait for it … wait for it!) “… if he doesn’t get circumcised there’s no way that kid is EVER going to get a BLOWJOB!!!”
 
OMG!  All hell broke loose!  Kevin’s dad started choking from laughing so hard.  His face was a shade of purple that I have never seen on a human being before.  Kevin was as white as a sheet that I had just said that to his parents and Kevin’s mom was in a catatonic state of shock.  This was definitely not what she thought I was going to say.  But seriously, that’s a pretty god damn compelling reason.  I mean gals out there, right?  No one wants a penis with a hoodie, do they?  I know I don’t, or I didn’t back then.  And I haven’t been around but one in the last 25 years or so and there sure as hell was no Hoodie on that one.  I made SURE that Daniel’s hoodie was taken care of right at the get go.
 
So yeah, that conversation was priceless.  I’m not sure his mother ever recovered and the BOY in question never got a circumcision but I stand strong in my opinion.  I’ve never had a run in with a guy with a hoodie and I really can’t say whether the kid ever got a blowjob but I was just doing my part, watching out for the welfare of a minor.  Do you agree?  Or disagree?  I really don’t care…I was just asking.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

208 Comments

  1. Argentum Vulgaris
    December 15, 2010

    Boy, do you sure know how to make a guy spill his coffee…. Talk about a bombshell at the table. But I must admit, that I’d never actually considered that aspect… I just hope now that my son has been luckier.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      HAHAHA…that was a classic conversation. I didn’t know my in-laws that well yet and they almost died. Kevin and i still laugh about it to this day. I’m sure your son is fine. After all, that’s just my opinion. hahaha

  2. Karla Telega
    December 15, 2010

    Ewww. I could never even consider going downtown if my little friend was wearing a jacket! Sorry fellow gentiles, but snip the genitals.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Hahaha…i loved this conversation and we debated about putting it in but it is a Classic Lynn MacDonald moment so, of course, we had to include it!

    • George
      December 15, 2010

      No, honey. Snip you! What about your nasty fish farm? Hypocrite!

      • Lynn
        December 15, 2010

        Jeez George…are you always so nasty?

      • Karla Telega
        December 16, 2010

        You’re absolutely right. It was wrong of me to make a flip remark about what others should do when this is a highly personal matter. A belated apology. I don’t, however apologize for my personal preferences.

  3. Kristeen
    December 15, 2010

    I am so glad that my hubby isn’t the only one that nervously watches all conversations for fear of what his loony wife might say.
    Also I dated a guy with a hoodie and he never got a BJ. How awefull is that?

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Truth be told…my husbands given up. After I almost got him fired from a job, he wisely decided to go into my families business. I know right? The hoodie? Yeah, my kids love this story. I told my husband long ago that with me, you get it all! Take it or leave it! He’s still around so…

      Thanks for commenting…don’t you LOVE the picture? Hahahah

  4. April
    December 15, 2010

    HA! Freakin’ hilarious! Worried the kid won’t get a blowjob! ROFL!

    But I think they shouldn’t be circumcised unless they want to. I know I wouldn’t want my parents to remove part of my labia or clitoris before I had a chance to enjoy them. =)

    Not my penis – not my choice!

    After all, I’ve blown a guy with a “hoodie” and it was no different because he was *clean* (which is a prerequisite of me getting naked with someone anyway).

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Hahaha…I’ve never been with a non circumcised guy but back in the day that was pretty standard. I did almost kill my father in law with this story…but they’re used to me now. Thanks for checking out my blog and I hope to see you again…on the comments I mean.. Bye

      Lynn

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      l agree with April. Uncut guys, if they are clean, are fine with me for BJ’s or whatever. Cleanliness goes for everybody!! I prefer uncut guys actually. Just sayin’.

  5. Angel
    December 15, 2010

    I have never been with a circumcised guy. This is a shocker since my love life reads like member states of the United Nations (England, New Zealand and Poland thus far) I hear the de-hoodied guys have less sensation – poor them, but they have more stamina – yay us!

    I have to admit, your blog had me in stitches – I am soo glad I was not on public transport whilst reading this. It would have been the second time that you would have had me laughing out loud on a bus woman!

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Hahaha…i’m glad you enjoyed it. I don’t ever mind speaking my mind! Interesting…maybe things have changed. I mean, i’ve been with my husband for 25 years now so THAT’S a long time. International you! hahaha. thanks for commenting

  6. Tally
    December 15, 2010

    You sure can speak your mind, however biased and incorrect you may be. It is only the cultural bias of your, and previous, generations that think intact men do not get blowjobs. Most men in the world are intact, that is, they have foreskins. They get lots of blowjobs. I have restored my foreskin and my girl friend loves blowing me. I keep it clean down there and it does not smell. And, it does feel much better with a foreskin than when I was circumcised.

    Fortunately, as the male infant circumcision rate falls in the US, the cultural bias against foreskin is also falling. Your MIL had it right.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Well…thanks for that. Of course I’m biased, i’m only speaking from my personal experience. I’m sure things are different around the world…and that’s ok. THis is just me, saying what I think. Of course, it’s my blog so i can do that. Thanks for responding!

      • MrBBQ
        December 16, 2010

        Maybe it’s just your (limited) personal experience, but expressing support for genital cutting and propagating myths can affect someone else’s body, so maybe you should keep your opinion to yourself to avoid harming others. A baby boy’s body is fine by itself and doesn’t need to have anything cut off. The majority of boys born in the USA nowadays are uncircumcised, and trust me, they’ll have no problem getting blow jobs. Thanks for your concern though, and would you please stop advocating genital mutilation from now on?

        • Lynn
          December 16, 2010

          I’m pretty sure that i said this was MY BLOG and i could say what I WANTED to say. So, i suggest that if you don’t like it: DON’T READ IT! The entire thing was a conversation that was funny, and for the most part, a joke. Second of all, my son had a bris and his circumcision was part of a ceremony. Third of all, my husband is circumcised and would have circumcised him anyways. Isn’t there something important you could be putting your mind to?

        • Name *
          March 13, 2011

          Just to correct this post: 100 percent of boys born in the USA nowadays are uncircumcised. Many of them do get circumcised. Most of them have problems getting blow jobs until they get a little older.

          • Lynn
            March 14, 2011

            Things for the info…I wasn’t aware that boys were born with their foreskin intact!

  7. Hulabuns
    December 15, 2010

    “No one wants a penis with a hoodie” – comedic gold, that’s what that is! This is HILARIOUS. But I totally agree (as if you care ;)- penis hoodies went out of style like hundreds of years ago (if not longer). You def have a new follower. I look forward to reading regularly.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Well thanks! Of course, i think there’s a bunch of guys that might not agree including the commentor below! I haven’t ever actually met a foreskin personally, but i suppose i could deal. Don’t know about my mouth though. Just my opinion…thanks for reading and commenting!

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      Hulabuns, you are a complete idiot. How do healthy functional body parts go out of style? What if someone said that excess labia went out of style.. I’m sure you wouldn’t stand for the butchery of YOUR own genetalia..

  8. Carla E. Knight
    December 15, 2010

    Considering your background, that was not the reason I expected, but knowing you I should have known better. I love it. I also agree with you. I’ve been with both types, but only circumcised ever got anywhere near my mouth. My Mother always told me to be careful of what goes into and what comes out of my mouth. At least I retained part of that lesson.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      hahaha…well, some people don’t agree with me but that’s what i think and i’m sticking to it. After all, this is MY blog! Thanks for the comment

  9. Jonathan
    December 15, 2010

    # of blowjobs before getting circumcised at the age of 25: 0
    # of blowjobs after: a lot more

    So there might be something to this theory of yours.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      hahaha…that is hilarious…if i ever have to back up this theory with statistics, you are my go to guy! Of course, for some reason uncircumcised men don’t completely agree with me! THanks for the comment!

    • Carla E. Knight
      December 15, 2010

      Ouch! But, at least it appears to have been worth the pain.

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      I don’t get that. I disagree with genital mutilation, and I do everything I can to stop it. But, speaaking as an adult female, I love intact guys. I would never judge a man on whether his penis was intact or not. If he’s clean, and I am attracted to him, that’s all that matters IMHO.

  10. Very Bored in Catalunya
    December 15, 2010

    You should never move to Europe, you will never give a blowjob, you will never receive shiny new shoes for your effort.

    None of my hooded conquests have ever been refused… only one boyfriend was circumcised and that was kind of by accident – I won’t to into details in case anyone reading this is eating. I can honestly say it didn’t actually make any difference.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      What? THey give you shiny new shoes for a blowjob? wow… I’ve been with my husband for pretty long so i’m not particularly worried about giving them out to others at this point. By the time i would need to? My back would be too rigid to bend over! hahaha… thanks for commenting

  11. Tim@sogeshirts
    December 15, 2010

    Omg I wish I could have been there to see the MIL face when you said that. You may be both the most interesting person in the world and the funniest. I really do wonder what would have happened if they would have listened to your advice.

    Maybe in some other dimension the kid got circumsized and is getting either more or less oral action. But unfortunately like knowing how many licks there are in a tootsie pop this world will never know.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      I know the kid and i’m hoping he’s not reading this today. Perhaps he’s found some of these “open minded” and “open mouthed” people who are commenting today in which case, it’s all good! BTW…for my birthday my daughter proclaimed me “the most interesting person in the world” cuz she knew i was JEALOUS of the commericial. hahaha I always bite my tootsie pop…no patience!

    • Dan
      June 17, 2011

      hmmmm maybe he just found a girl who wasn’t a shallow judgemental bitch, and he still got oral action. What kind of society thinks it is normal to cut off part of the genitals, and then makes guys who aren’t cut (NORMAL) feel insulted and dirty and that they shouldn’t get any action because they are normal??? The rest of the world is also intact. Only in the States do they think cutting off a pleasurable body part without consent is a normal thing to do. I’m sure there are TONS more vaginas out there that are extremely dirty and gross than any uncut guy… Just think about all the east infection commercials and UTIs that girls get, compared to how many guys get… and it’s GIRLS who think uncut guys are gross?? are you kidding me?? look in the mirror!

      • Lynn
        June 17, 2011

        I tried to look in the mirror but I’m not that flexible

        • Dan
          June 17, 2011

          haha I’ll admit you are a funny lady. I’m not taking anything away from that at all. I’m sure I’d love your other blogs. I just don’t agree with making a joke out of this serious issue. Nature is beautiful the way it is. Humans should leave it alone. The foreskin is there for many important reasons, and removing it causes several complications. It is not widely known that on average between 100 to 200 babies die each year in USA from circumcisions. Many more have problems in the years later. At the end of the day, it is a cosmetic procedure that we are forcing onto our children without asking them. I don’t see any issue with letting a man choose for himself once he reaches adult age. I also don’t feel it is right for women to make fun of intact men for being dirty and unclean. It is absolutely not true at all. I know that this blog is just for a few laughs, so I’m not like going all nuts on you or anything, but I think it’s also important to appreciate that this matter really isn’t a joke, and it is serious. Just ask the families who’s babies have died or been permanently damaged from this

          • Lynn
            June 17, 2011

            Well, I didn’t actually make fun of anything…I was just making a joke. At any rate, I don’t have an opinion either way.

  12. Sarah
    December 15, 2010

    So I guess you just hate oral sex in general… Because certainly you wouldn’t expect a man to go down on you. Sexually inhibited prudish provincial prejudice that is good for the gander is good for the goose too. Cut all your “extra” parts off so your clit is good and dry and then Ill find the humor in your story. By the way… who do you think invented the blow job? Hahaha. Human sex… so silly…you invented it right?

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Just my opinion…it’s obviously personal for every individual. I don’t have any expectations about anything in that realm. I must also say that i’ve been in one relationship for a long time. I also don’t think that a foreskin and a clit are the same. THanks for commenting.

      • Sarah
        December 15, 2010

        I wasn’t saying cut off your clit… I was saying cut off the extra flappy parts that make your genitals so funny looking, moist and hard to wash… Of course leave the clit! After it rubs in your underwear all day you can get down to some fun oral at night!

        • Lynn
          December 15, 2010

          hahaha…ok, a simple, yet incredibly painful, misunderstanding. I feel soooo much better now.

    • Jennifer
      December 15, 2010

      Oh wow. You know who invented the blow job? That’s clearly information that needs to be shared. Oh wait. I’m sorry. Your purpose was to go on a name calling response rant here. Silly me. Never mind.

  13. Naz Keynejad
    December 15, 2010

    Okay, I know I’ve read this before, but I still laughed. This is just priceless. I read it out loud for Hubby and he was in stitches too. Plus, that picture? PERFECT.

    You kill me Lynn. You really do.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      thanks bestie…it seems to be going over pretty well…some people are offended but WHATEVER!!!

  14. Erica
    December 15, 2010

    Huh, that’s strange because my husband gets blow jobs and he’s intact. I’ve been with men both intact and circ’d, and the intercourse is by far better with an intact man. “Latin lovers” have their reputation for a reason, ahem. Sex with circ’s guys takes away lubrication, they come way too fast and easy, and it’s like fucking broomstick in comparison to having sex the natural way (Nature really is quite brilliant in design). And for the men too, it is a different sensation. Circ’d guys are missing 20,000 nerve endings that an intact guys (luckily) still has. Not only that, but because the head of the penis is exposed over a lifetime, the skin becomes rough and less sensitive with age (and one reason Viagra is such a seller in this country). As for the whole hygiene and preventing diseases crap, that is a bunch of b.s. The only STD I ever got was from a circ’d guy, and the only man who’s given me multiple orgasms is intact.
    BTW, female circumcision used to be legal here in the U.S. and was even covered by insurance until the mid-1970s (Cosmo even had an article on the it back then). How would you have liked it if your genitals had been modified without your consent (because some women’s were)? That’s what still happens to girls around the world today, mostly in Africa. I hope you get to the point where you can think outside of the box a little and maybe admit that your current thinking is not the best. Babies can’t consent to this life-altering procedure, adults can. Let’s let boys decide for themselves once they reach 18.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Well…I’m not a scientist…it’s just my opinion. Thanks for sharing!

      • Erica
        December 15, 2010

        I’m not a scientist either! You seem to like comedy, so if you have 30 minutes, watch this great episode from Penn & Teller.
        http://espanol.video.yahoo.com/watch/5808710/15202871

        • Lynn
          December 15, 2010

          I will check it out later. Thanks!

      • Jennifer
        December 15, 2010

        For someone who’s not a scientist, you sure have a lot of information. God bless Wikipedia, huh?

        And since you opened up the door with TMI, let me just say that I don’t know who you’ve been sleeping with but a broomstick??? I beg to differ. As a girl who’s also been with both cut & uncut guys, I can tell you that sexual prowess is most definitely not directly correlated with whether or not they’ve been circumcised. There are many reasons why men would “come way too fast and easy,” and absolutely no measuring stick (pardon the pun) to say that cut men come faster/easier than uncut men.

        I also seriously doubt that even ONE reason for Viagra being such a huge hit in this country (well, and elsewhere in the world which also happens to be full of uncut men), is because cut men need help as they age. ALL men need help as they age. THAT’s why Viagra is such a best seller.

        I completely respect your right to have an opinion on the subject, what I don’t understand is how did female circumcision get in the mix. I don’t see any reference to anything in this blog about that. Nor do I see any strong and/or scientific advocacy for circumcision in general. It’s a satirical/humorous piece. Clearly, the author said something to shock her mother in law.

        • Lynn
          December 15, 2010

          Thank you Jennifer…I feel like I opened Pandoras box with what was, to me, a very funny story.

          • Jennifer
            December 15, 2010

            It IS a funny story. It’s hilarious. And hey, you’ve started some great debates here.

        • MrBBQ
          December 16, 2010

          The reason people find it offensive is that it trivializes an issue that is very serious. Many men are upset that they were circumcised as babies without their consent, and people who have researched the issue actually know that it reduces sexual sensitivity and alters the mechanics of masturbation and intercourse in a harmful way. Are you informed now? And btw tens of thousands of men have bought products/devices to restore their foreskins through slow stretching, which takes years. So yes, many people feel they were robbed. And for what? Because some women are prejudiced against the natural penis? A terrible reason to harm someone’s functional sex organ.
          In our society unfortunately, there is ignorance of what a foreskin is and fear of an intact penis. We need to grow up and stop making jokes about this serious issue because this kind of trivializing perpetuates this harmful practice.

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      i agree with Erica 100%. The story you told was a hoot though. Funny as hell!

      • Lynn
        June 14, 2011

        Thanks

  15. Carolyn - temysmom
    December 15, 2010

    This is my favorite post of the day… week… month… year!

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Wow…thanks!!!! I appreciate it. It was a VERY funny conversation. My in laws almost DIED and my husband? He’s used to me NOW! Thanks for the comment!

  16. Renee
    December 15, 2010

    First? You got me with the banana. Then? The “hoodie”.
    Loved the convo with the MIL! Would love to have seen her reaction.

    However, Hubby dear is hooded. And is not deprived. And, of course, cleanliness is paramount. On both sides.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Hahaha…I mostly said the whole think to shock her. She was always trying to tell me stuff. That’s why my husband was having heart failure. To each his own, I always say. I haven’t ever been with an uncircumcised guy and am probably unlikely to do so at this point. Thanks for commenting. YEAHHHH for your hubby!

  17. Cyn
    December 15, 2010

    “A sense of humor is suggested.”

    A sense of humor is always a good thing. However, there’s nothing funny about mutilating a child’s genitals.

    “Just my opinion…it’s obviously personal for every individual.”

    Yes, but you’re not the owner of the penis. It belongs to your son. This should be his individual decision.

    I doubt you’d be thinking this is a laughing matter if it was a baby girl we’re talking about. But for some really insane reason, it’s deemed perfectly acceptable to assault the genitals of baby boys in America. Our society has been so duped by this practice – that’s why it’s even allowed to continue … because most people have no clue.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Well…I certainly didn’t expect such a reaction but your point is duly noted. Thanks for commenting..

  18. Andy
    December 15, 2010

    Intact guys don’t need or want blowjobs, they like natural penetrative vaginal sex.

    Cut guys prefer blowjobs, because the mouth provides lots of lubrication, more than the dried out prune of a glans can soak up, and the tongue acts like a mobile pseudo foreskin.

    So girls, want to spent your lives giving blowjobs, get a cut guy. Want to have smooth, non-abrasive sex, without having to use heaps of “off the shelf” lubricants, get an intact guy.

    Penises were made perfect, circumcision cripples them

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Thanks so much for the info. I had no idea that this would stir up so many people. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • Jennifer
      December 15, 2010

      Finally! A comment for a man! It’s refreshing to see an actual guy defending being uncut. I’m only saying this because most of the people ranting here seem to be women, which is like having guys discuss the finer points of menstruation. But I digress. Your reply is not only interesting (seriously, that’s a very valid point about the lubrication), it’s also refreshingly free of insults to the author. Bravo!

      • Jennifer
        December 15, 2010

        PS I meant to say a comment *from a man and not *for. Sorry about the typo.

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      Agree with Andy.

  19. Ace
    December 15, 2010

    I think you’re a good writer and I can certainly see the humor in talking about blowjobs with you MIL- not an everyday type of topic probably :-) Still, I have to comment, like many others, that circumcision of any person’s genitals without consent isn’t funny. I also thought that I could post some resources, so maybe others who are interested in researching surgeries they are thinking about for their children could take a look.

    The Whole Network
    http://www.thewholenetwork.org

    Brave Nurses
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbpQY6t3oIw

    Peaceful Parenting
    http://www.drmomma.org

    Penn and Teller Bullshit Circumcision
    http://espanol.video.yahoo.com/watch/5808710/15202871

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Thanks for the info. I appreciate it. Hope you read about some other, less controversial topics.

      • Ace
        December 15, 2010

        Will do! And thanks for posting the resources- I hope someone finds them useful :-)

  20. Casey
    December 15, 2010

    I’m just glad I’m cut. So is my wife. That’s all that really matters.

    No “off the shelf” lubricants. Not crippled. Not abbrasive. No lack of multiple O’s for her. Definitely not a broomstick. And no premature surprises.

    Sex is as unique as each individual and the absolute or general statements of these commenters based on their own experiences amaze me. It’s like me trying to convince the everyone that I make the best cup of coffee in the world. Not only is that impossible to prove due to all the coffee makers, but there is no objective unbiased way to actually judge my barista superiority. (Although I do make a mean cup o’ joe.)

    I say just hope for a partner who does it for you while you do it for her. The rest of this is noise.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      I agree…to each his own. The entire post was about the funny conversation but I guess lots of people are going a little nuts about it.

    • Erica
      December 15, 2010

      “I’m just glad I’m cut. So is my wife. That’s all that really matters.” Yes, that’s all that matter to YOU. Exactly. Thank you. The reason there is so much “noise” about this topic recently is because there is no medical reason to circumcise infants routinely. It’s a cosmetic procedure, and Lynn’s commentary is an example of why it is still being done to baby boys.

      BTW, if you read about the history of circumcision, you’ll see that it’s always been a way of preventing male pleasure in excess, precisely because it removes the best part of the penis. http://www.historyofcircumcision.net/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=32 Or check out any of the great books on the history of circumcision…

      Glad you’re doing OK with what you have left, however. But please don’t pretend to speak for the men out there who aren’t as lucky (or blissfully ignorant) as yourself.

      • Jennifer
        December 15, 2010

        Wait … I’m confused. Where in Casey’s response is he “pretend(ing) to speak for the men out there?” Am I reading this wrong?

        Also if I understand what you’re saying, it’s okay for YOU to make the noise, but not okay for a guy (you know, the one with the penis?) to have an opinion on it?

        Huh.

    • Ace
      December 15, 2010

      Glad to hear about your awesome sex life ;-)

      I think the ‘noise’ you’re talking about though is simply people doing there best to stand up for the rights of all little people to keep the healthy genitals there were born with. The things about circumcision is that is can always be done (though not many intact men would want it done, there are some and that’s all good with me!) but it can never really be undone. What if you or your wife weren’t glad you were cut?… There is the option of restoration, but it can’t bring back the nerve endings that we lost. So I say, since it’s such a personal decision it should be left to the person who owns the ‘junk’- girl, boy, whatever. I am really glad that you guys are good- because if I happen to fall in love with a man who is circumcised I really hope we have a good sex life too!

  21. jillsmo
    December 15, 2010

    Geez, you’ve got a lot of really stuck up readers, huh? Maybe they didn’t see the part where you said they could stop reading at any time.

    Also, though: LMAO!!! I could NEVER say such a thing to my MIL, she would die of a heart attack. I would say it to my husband after she left the room, though.

    For the record, my MIL is from Finland and they don’t cut there and I’ve been blowing my hooded hubs for almost 19 years now and I’m totally fine with it!

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Hahahaha…most of it was about driving my mother in law crazy. She was always lecturing me so I liked provoking her. Anyways, I thought it was funny. I certainly didn’t expect this type of reaction.

  22. Jennifer
    December 15, 2010

    I’m completely floored by some of the reactions here and I’m going to go back and reply to some people individually but my God people! This isn’t the place to go on a rant about your personal/scientific opinions on the subject. This is clearly meant to show a funny conversation. And no, there is nothing funny about having your penis cut up, but that’s not the point of this blog.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Thank you Jennifer…I appreciate that. I was floored by the reaction to what was essentially a conversation of me provoking my mother in law. I’ve actually stopped posting the nasty ones. Whether people agree or not wasn’t really the point. Thanks for commenting.

    • Erica
      December 15, 2010

      Jennifer, since when is a question not a question? As Lynn has a right to her opinion, how can others not be expected to respond? Dialog exists for a reason.

      “I’ve never had a run in with a guy with a hoodie and I really can’t say whether the kid ever got a blowjob but I was just doing my part, watching out for the welfare of a minor. Do you agree? Or disagree? I really don’t care…I was just asking.”

      • Jennifer
        December 15, 2010

        A question is most definitely a question. There is such a thing as “satire” as well which is clearly what this blog is about. I don’t have a problem with people disagreeing with Lynn. My issue is the name calling. It’s HER opinion. It’s okay if it’s not yours, but let’s try to be civilized about it. Also, since you quoted the whole paragraph, you can see that Lynn doesn’t care and she was just asking :-)

        • Erica
          December 15, 2010

          Jennifer, I honestly don’t know where to begin, because your lack of logic defies me. BTW, this isn’t “satire”. If you’re confused about what satire is, I’m sure there is a wikipedia article or something out there to help you out. Ironically, you are the one that is now truly making “noise”.

          Interesting that you think it’s odd women would comment on male circumcision. Seeing as how it affects not only male sexuality but female sexuality as well. Our fathers, brothers, sons and friends. Also, I’m sure the little guy in my tummy right now is sure glad I am well-educated on the topic because he won’t have be going under the knife next month as a result. Especially since the whole discussion BEGAN with a woman criticizing another woman’s decision about not circumcising a boy, this criticism from you is just plain ridiculous. Really, I’d like to say “quit while you’re ahead”, but the truth is, you’re not. Good night, and good luck. Lynn, glad you posted the story… Thanks for being honest and willing to put yourself out there.

  23. Mandy (The Well-Read Wife)
    December 15, 2010

    O. M. F. G. – I heart this post! First, that picture is awesome and second, you are absolutely right about the likely-hood of that kid getting a BJ! Hahahaha

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Hahaha…don’t wade into this mess! People are having strong opinions about this topic. Thanks though. I just thought it was funny!

    • MrBBQ
      December 16, 2010

      Actually since the circumcision rate is ~33% in America now, you’re totally wrong–since most future boys will be intact, there’s nothing to worry about. They’ll all get blowjobs and this is the new norm (thank god).

  24. Jennifer
    December 15, 2010

    A question is most definitely a question. There is such a thing as “satire” as well which is clearly what this blog is about. I don’t have a problem with people disagreeing with Lynn. My issue is the name calling. It’s HER opinion. It’s okay if it’s not yours, but let’s try to be civilized about it. Also, since you quoted the whole paragraph, you can see that Lynn doesn’t care and she was just asking :-)

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      i can’t believe you’re actually trying to REASON with these people…good luck!

  25. BryTee
    December 15, 2010

    Why would you argue for something that you believe the child’s future partner would prefer?
    Let them decide what they want.

    Many women are very able to enjoy a whole penis. Many women prefer it, as long as he’s clean, but a circumcised penis can still be dirty, and we don’t expect women to give a blow job to an unclean guy, even if he’s circumcised.
    All guys should wash themselves, just as all women should.

    Your views are just yours… you can prefer whatever you want, but you should not argue to cut off a working body part of someone else, because you prefer it, especially if you are unlikely to ever have sex with that person.

    Some men say they do not like small breast sizes or how some women’s labia looks like “chewed up gum”, but that does not give them the right to argue that a baby girl should be forced to have breast enhancement or labia-ectomy because those men prefer it.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Good god…it was just a funny story. Do what u want and lighten the hell up!

      • BryTee
        December 16, 2010

        I think you are getting heat from this, as many people see circumcision as a human rights issue. So joking about it is going to rile people up.
        To see why, think about other rights issues… imagine if you saw someone joking about enforcing racism (say, if it were back in the 60s), or joking about the animal fur trade (back in the 70s), or joking about how it’s good to have child slave labor (eg in countries today), they probably would get similarly riled up people commenting on their “joke”.

  26. Theresa Sonoda
    December 15, 2010

    Well at the risk of my first husband seeing this, I will say it anyway, because like you, I really don’t care. My first hubby had a hoody and since his penis was my first penis (ok maybe not my first but the first one that got any upclose attention…….is my face red yet?) I didn’t really know or care about the difference. Yea that was 1971….no internet. I was sheltered growing up. Yea he got blowjobs because he told me that was what I was supposed to do to a husband. God was I a stupid little girl. We had a son and I had him circumcised because my doctor said it was best and by the time I had my son, I had figured out that everything my husband said just might not be gospel. So I believed the doctor. Little boys just don’t keep things clean, ya know. I am glad we had him circumcised because if you’d seen how dirty his ears got, you could only imagine how dirty “hidden parts” might get.
    OK I’m done. But you asked. Yea I know you didn’t care. But you were right, your post was hilarious, and I just had to join in.

    Terri
    (I argue with my MIL every effin time I see the lovely woman……grrrrrrrr)

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Thanks for the comment. I can’t believe the hoopla this innocuous post has caused. It really was about me driving my MIL crazy…and it worked! ENd of story!

  27. George
    December 15, 2010

    But now, he’ll never feel that blowjob because his glans will become keratinised, and far less sensitive for each decade he ages because he has no protective mucosa to keep it moist like your clitoris has, which makes as much smegma as an intact man. How sad for him. What did he ever do to you? I know what he should do.

    Maybe he will have a mind of his own one day, cite the female genital mutilation law with the 14th amendment to the Constitution, get a great attorney and sue the hell out of the quack who did it.

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Seriously George…it was just a funny story. That kid did NOT get circumcised. Why dont you just lighten up?

  28. Josh
    December 15, 2010

    Yeah, Refusing to give a guy a BJ because he’s intact is like refusing to have sex with a girlfriend unless he doesn’t have to wear a condom and she agrees to have an abortion if there’s a kid.

    It may be ok to have an opinion that foreskins are gross, But it’s also ok for us to have an opinion that you’re a selfish asshole :)

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Duly noted…i thought it was funny bu then again, it’s subjective isn’t it?

      • Josh
        December 17, 2010

        Indeed. If it was meant as a joke it would be funny. But you clearly were serious about it :/

  29. Nate
    December 15, 2010

    As a man I am amazed and very insulted as there is nothing funny about this it is simply sexism. Don’t deny that it isn’t sexist because if a man did the same by saying a girl should have the female equivalent of a male circumcision or lesser form performed just because some men believes it makes oral sex more pleasurable for them he would be branded a sexist and put in his place where he belongs because genital mutilation is wrong no matter what the biological sex happens to be is wrong.

  30. By Word of Mouth Musings
    December 15, 2010

    Please don’t jump down my ‘throat’ since I have the word ‘Mouth’ in my name – sorry …
    Would this be a bad time to share when I told my Mother in Law that if my husband found a girlfriend in his travels (he travels) if she did laundry and blowjobs he could move her right in?
    Back in the day, if the Dad was done, the son was done so they could have a matching pair and no one would feel different in the shower … in spite of hub’s streamlined manhood, the blowjob is something that for me and most women remains back in their college days … hence mags like Cosmo gear their marketing to the younger group with 40 ways to pleasure your man … who has time for 40 ways in your average marriage?

    So what are going to write about next? ;)

    • Lynn
      December 15, 2010

      Hahaha…Kevin and I talk about a “scut wife” all the time. Excellent comment. Who knows what I’ll write about. Maybe all these crazy comments I’ve gotten! I’m a guest on Scary Mommy tomorrow! Thanks for the comment!

    • BryTee
      December 16, 2010

      “… and no one would feel different in the shower”?!?!
      Maybe households you knew were different “back in the day”, but I’m 48 and I’ve never showered with my dad, nor have I with my son. I’ve also never compared penises with these people, nor my brothers (in fact… nor anyone).

      That statement was quite a surprise to read!

      • By Word of Mouth
        December 16, 2010

        Guess in Europe we are not as uptight … but that was the trend, matching penis’, it was all the rage! I have been naked in front of my girls, not a big deal. Why would a Dad being naked in front of his little boy be a problem?

        • Jess
          December 16, 2010

          I’m not European, but I still know plenty of people who shower with their young sons, and I assume my husband will do the same with our son. Seems perfectly normal to me. And yup, “matching penises” played into our decision to have our son circumcised, as did the locker room issue. I know several people have commented that uncircumcised is the majority in america now, but apparently that majority isn’t getting naked in the high school locker room.

          Lynn – my first visit here, and I found this post about traumatizing your MIL to be hilarious. I will for sure become a regular reader :)

          • Lynn
            December 16, 2010

            Thanks…i know what you mean. I have been a little surprised at the reaction but essentially, it was a funny conversation and a funny moment. I have millions of stories about her because basically, if she said yes, i said no. Thanks for coming by!

          • By Word of Mouth Musings
            December 16, 2010

            Hey Lynn, may I poach Jess too Please!
            (after all she understood where I was coming from!)

            • Lynn
              December 16, 2010

              Poach…as on steal her? Or cook her over boiling water? I am confused!

  31. Amy Barton
    December 16, 2010

    I know you intended this to be funny rather than offensive, but I can’t see anything amusing about cutting infant genitals. I realise there’s a cultural bias at work here, but once it’s put in perspective, it’s extremely sexist and unsettling. It shouldn’t matter to you or anyone else what your sons’ penises will look like – you only ever have to wipe them clean, and only ever in infancy. I’ve never inspected my daughter’s vagina, nor worried about its size, or whether her labia will be long or short, her clitoris big or small.

    I’ve seen taunts from Xhosa women to Zulu women, telling them they’re promiscuous and should have been circumcised. Most female circumcision is of the milder type, involving the removal of the clitoral hood and or labia (the clitoral hood is analogous to the male foreskin). Women who have undergone such circumcisions usually claim to enjoy sex, and often choose the procedure for their daughters.

    It’s sad that there is so little knowledge of the functioning of the natural penis in the USA that it is seen as somehow abnormal or dirty. Around half my partners have been intact, and I can assure you that’s not the case. In many parts of the world, intact vulvae are also seen as unclean.

    I realise you cannot undo what was done to your son, but I hope that you can educate yourself on the risks and harms involved in circumcision, so that you can advise your son NOT to circumcise his own sons if he has them, and so that you no longer perpetuate the myths surrounding circumcision and intact penises. Many women in the USA have never seen an intact penis and are not aware of how it functions. There are plenty of resources out there to help educate them. There is some good information here explaining how the foreskin functions and why it is necessary, though be aware that it features explicit photos and video footage: http://www.foreskinfunctions.com These are some of the risks of circumcision: http://www.circumstitions.com/Complic.html#damage This is common circumcision damage, which I’ve seen in partners of mine: http://www.noharmm.org/IDcirc.htm Please, be informed – your mother in law was right on this one.

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Thanks Amy for taking the time to comment in a calm, informed manner. I appreciate it. Actually, I’m Jewish and i had a bris for my son. My son seems pretty happy so far although he’s still young. My husband wanted him circumcised as well. I didn’t realize that this was such a controversial subject.

      • Amy Barton
        December 17, 2010

        No problem Lynn :-) I have friends who are Jewish as well. Some people think that those opposing infant circumcision are anti-Semitic – just so that you know, that’s not at all true! I also know of a Jewish Facebooker in the USA who has what she thinks are the only two intact boys on her block. Many devout Jews are some of the most outspoken against infant circ – there’s quite a bit of info here: http://www.jewishcircumcision.org

        Circumcision also differed significantly in antiquity to what has been popularised in the USA last century. Babies back then would not have survived the aggressive procedure performed today, which is still sometimes fatal even in modern hospital settings. There’s an article on circumcision in ancient times here: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/07/biblical-circumcision-information.html Modern circumcision has its roots in prudish 20th century society where masturbation and teaching boys how to wash themselves were taboo subjects that people would rather not have to deal with. Some of the reasons it gained popularity in the USA are quite shocking! : http://www.veoh.com/collection/Circumcision/watch/v1028772JgXD37Sy#watch%3Dv1134639X63btBHB

        Jews have traditionally always known the value of the foreskin, hence why it was only nicked or snipped rather than torn away entirely. Had it not been important, it would have held no value as a mark or sacrifice, so I doubt they considered it dirty or disfiguring (God made man in his own image, and I doubt he would have built in a birth defect ;-). I do think, however, that religious rituals are much more meaningful when they can be chosen by the person involved who believes them to be significant and important – my mother’s confirmation, for example, was much more meaningful than my christening, which I don’t remember.

  32. MrSatire
    December 16, 2010

    This is exactly why I’m getting my daughter cut, too! My wife has very long labia and I hate going down on her because everyone knows that those extra flaps of skin make for strong smell and grossness. Out of love for my new daughter, I will be getting her labia trimmed because I know without cutting, no guys will ever give her cunnilingus!

    I totally relate to your post. Thanks so much for writing that, I LoL’ed! :)))

  33. Carla E. Knight
    December 16, 2010

    Holy shit, Lynn! Did you hit the motherlode with this story? You should be a few steps closer to your goal of becoming a professional guest on talk shows. I can see this on Oprah now (oh wait, I’ve never watched Oprah). Great post. It really was funny even if obviously a HUGE number of people take the topic seriously. Even serious subjects need humor. A few more posts like this and you should be on your way to TV Land Heaven.

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      I know right? I’ve said things before that were contreversial. I just didn’t think this was one of them. HAHAHA…whatever. Thanks for commenting. It would be ironic to get on Oprah for a subject that i OBVIOUSLY haven’t spent much time thinking about!

  34. Kristine
    December 16, 2010

    Finally someone with the balls to tell it like it is!!!! Un-circumsized is gross any way you look at it….like one of those damn hairless guinea pigs. :pukes: ROFL!
    You made my day! Thanks for this post!!!

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Hahaha…thanks…although I had NO iDEA what a can of worms (hahaha…worms) I was opening up. Thanks for the POSITIVE comment!

  35. Megan (Best of Fates)
    December 16, 2010

    I love that you actually said that to your mother-in-law, how priceless!

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Yeah…back in my younger days, i spent a LOT of time trying to not let her push me around. It was so damn funny though. My father in law turned purple. I’ll never forget it!

  36. Sara
    December 16, 2010

    I wandered over here after reading your excellent post on Scary Mommy…as far as first experiences with a blog go, looks like I picked a doozy!

    I just about died at this story…it’s definitely not typical DIL-MIL conversation!! So funny.

    It sucks you’re getting slammed for sharing a story from your past. It’s not like you’re out there campaigning for cutting – this was just an outrageous moment that happened to center around male circumcision. I appreciate that people are passionate about the subject, but I wish they’d realize that attacking folks rarely gets the results they’re after.

    FWIW, we kept our baby boy intact. I’d like to say it was because we’d seen the research and wanted him to be able to make the decision himself. Though we did factor in those things, the fact that I burst into tears at the thought of him being cut (and possibly hurting) when the ped came to talk to us about it at the hospital figured prominently in the end decision, lol.

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      First, thanks for checking me out. Second, you are right…it was just a funny story and i had NO IDEA how strongly people felt on the subject. THird, i was mostly just provoking my MIL because she drove me nuts and Fourth, i’m jewish so of course, we were going to have a bris anyways…no research necessary. I’m glad you visited and i hope you come back again! These crazy reactions are not typical over here, trust me!

      • Sara
        December 16, 2010

        Oh, I’ve already added you to my blog list so I’ll definitely be back. I like your style :)

  37. Melissa Bassani
    December 16, 2010

    Too funny! Good point too, I myself have a son and we got the procedure done, but the whole event almost went horribly wrong! I think boys should get it done, but after the scare I think I’d let my next son be natural.

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Well…i think it IS a personal decision but it was just a funny story. Thanks for visiting my site!

  38. Emma Jayne
    December 16, 2010

    I was with an uncircumsided man once or twice (it was a fun weekend) and his foreskin fell OFF during sex! He curled up in a fetal position with it and went into immediate mourning. I was just glad I wasn’t blowing him when he started to shed parts of his body. Ick poo…

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      ok…i just gotta say that THAT’S DISGUSTING! hahaha…so funny though

    • Amy Barton
      December 17, 2010

      Foreskins can’t fall off – are you sure it wasn’t the condom? My boyfriend mourns if that comes off too. There’s no clear delineation between foreskin and shaft skin – it’s very firmly fixed! I hope you weren’t sucking his toes either, because damn, I’ve seen some hairy toes on men that would choke a girl.

      Next time, give the leper colony a miss when you’re looking for a fun weekend ;-) With my looks, I usually find the blind foundation a safe bet.

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      Um, I find that very hard to believe….seriously…..

  39. Reshma
    December 16, 2010

    OMG!!! This is the first time I’ve been to your new site. It’s lovely.

    This post just made me burst out laughing. I’m from a traditional Indian family but I can only imagine what my MIL would say, likely the same reaction as yours.:) I think I’m following you but if you don’t see me on your list, let me know.

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Thanks so MUCH for checking me out. I couldn’t have made it this far without the support of the BSG community. Thanks for the follow!

  40. Laughing Through Tears
    December 16, 2010

    I also just found your blog by way of Scary Mommy, and came over to read more when I saw you have a son with Aspergers.

    Why is it assumed here that it’s only the mothers who are choosing circumcision for their sons? There are many, many men out there who also make this choice for their sons! I don’t disagree with any of the previous commenters, but it should be acknowledged that men who have had this procedure are very often choosing it for their own sons. It just feels like it’s getting kind of ugly in here with all the venom being directed at Lynn specifically, and women generally.

    Aside from that, I took the piece in the spirit it was intended and had a good little chuckle. Stay edgy– the people who can’t handle it will eventually move on and find a blog that suits them better.

    • Lynn
      December 16, 2010

      Hahaha…I’m actually Jewish so i would have had a bris anyways. The comment was mostly to drive my mother in law crazy…which it did by the way. I have a son who had “aspergers” or something very much like that. I actually wrote about him and tomorrow, that post will be up at http://www.yeahgoodtimes.blogspot.com/ It’s about the process he went through since he’s now 17. I think you’ll find it interesting. One day i’ll put it up here. Yeah, i think the over reaction from yesterday was ridiculous but hey, i’m just staying chill.

      • Laughing Through Tears
        December 16, 2010

        Awesome, I’ll be on the lookout for that. And just to clarify, that whole second paragraph of my first comment was directed towards everyone else on here, not to you. :-)

        • Lynn
          December 16, 2010

          Not to worry…I’m a very chill person. Thanks being around here and commenting.

  41. AnnD
    December 17, 2010

    Wow. Ignorance abounds.

    Are you aware that 85% of the males in the world are intact?

    Are you aware that adult women make smegma too? (You know this if you’ve walked into a bathroom stall after another woman has just walked out)

    Are you aware that the only country in the world that keeps circumcising boys en masse is the United States because of the money involved (insurance payments to doctors) and foreskins are sold (by hospitals) to cosmetic and biopharmaceutical companies for $3,000 a square foot?

    Did you know that to retract ones foreskin and run it under warm water takes less time than cleaning one your ears out with a Q-Tip?

    Do you know that smegma contains an antibacterial protein called lysozome that actually protects men against STD’s and UTI’s?

    Do you know that circumcision started in the US as a way to keep young boys from masturbating? Doctors knew that foreskin is the most sensitive part of the penis and that by cutting it off, they assumed boys would stop masturbating. Furthermore, one doesn’t need lube to masturbate with a foreskin and there was no lotion or EZ Glide back then so they were trying to solve the “problem” of masturbation. That is what this practice is built on in the United States. Cruelty and ignorance.

    Do you know the laundry list of men who aren’t circumcised (aka INTACT)….Leonardo DiCaprio, Elvis, Gerard Butler, Liam Neeson, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Farrell, Robert Pattinson, James Dean, Gary Oldman, Daniel Craig, Heath Ledger, Hugh Laurie, Ewan MacGregor, Martin Luther King, Jr and John Lennon aren’t (weren’t) circumcised.

    Something tells me they are/were doing fine in the blow job department.

    Postpubescent genitals smell. On everyone. Everywhere. Circ’ed and intact. Male and Female. That is no reason to tie an infant down against their will and cut off a functioning part of their body without their permission and without anesthesia.

    If you are getting into bed with an unhygenic person, their genitals will smell no matter what. I would suggest that people be more selective about who they are sexual with and not cut off functioning parts of innocent little newborn babies bodies.

    • Lynn
      December 17, 2010

      Honestly, i can’t believe how fanatical all you anti-circumcision people are. Haven’t you ever heard of “live and let live?”

      • Jen
        December 19, 2010

        I just want to comment on this because you said “That is no reason to tie an infant down against their will and cut off a functioning part of their body without their permission and without anesthesia”

        I have a 10 month old son and I had him circumcised when he was a day old. I am pretty sure they didn’t have to tie him down “against his will” like he was fighting them off. Over exaggerating much?

        Just my opinion. :)

        • Lynn
          December 19, 2010

          I certainly didn’t say that. I’m not sure whom you’re referring to

        • AnnD
          December 20, 2010

          I said it.

          They are tied to a board called a circumboard, which most infants find unpleasant enough.

          http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8212662920114237112&hl=en#

          Never ceases to amaze me how many parents opt in for this procedure without knowing the horrors behind it.

  42. AnnD
    December 17, 2010

    I love how that is the last ditch response to all of the factual information presented about circumcision and how there is no medical reason to do it.

    They either throw out that it’s their right to make a choice to electively cut off a piece of their son’s body without his permission or throw out the “well, it’s just gross” argument.

    The problem us “fanatics” have with it is the hypocrisy behind it. It’s essentially a cosmetic surgery done on a newborn. If someone were not like how their daughter’s “nose” looked after birth and decided to pursue plastic surgery for her to avoid her being made fun of or looking different than her mother, they would be reported to DCFS!

    It’s not YOUR penis thus it is not YOUR decision to make. Parents do not OWN their children’s bodies to do with as they please. Sovereignty over your body and the right to make decisions about it is a right to every single person on the planet.

    Circ’ing is a decision that affects not just the little newborn but it affects the man later in life (circumcisions that are done too tightly will lead to erectile dysfunction). That man (at age 18) might just want his genitalia intact. But, that choice was taken away from him and he will never have the opportunity to make it.

    Fingernails can get dirty and get infections, so I suppose we should cut off the tips of newborns fingers as to avoid any possible splinters that might get lodged under there. Teeth can get infections too! Let’s just pull out our children’s teeth one by one so they don’t have to go through that.

    There is a Live and Let live when it comes to YOUR body but not a child’s without a voice. Let them make their own decision when they can do the research themselves and can make an educated decision.

  43. Nate
    December 17, 2010

    Well should people live and let live when parents are performing or having someone else perform the female equivalent of a male circumcision on a female baby or child even for religious, or cultural reasons? Should people live and let live if the circumcision is performed as the American Academy Of Pediatrics wanted to do so earlier this year which was to make small incisions in the genitals with pain killers without removing any tissue in a sterile environment by doctors? If you answered no to those questions how can you be anything but a hypocrite who violated her child’s rights by stealing his choice to make a decision about his body?

  44. Faith
    December 17, 2010

    This is the best laugh I have had in ages…Thank you Lynn for sharing this story!

    • Lynn
      December 17, 2010

      Thanks…I thought it was funny

  45. Jan
    December 18, 2010

    I just have to say that I never really thought about it when I was young. Probably because I never dated or did anything physical with a man who wasn’t. In those days, there was a very high circumcision rate and I was lucky or unlucky enough to come across an uncut one.
    However, I did eventually come across one that was uncut and it wasn’t long afterwards that I married that man. And to this day we are still married and going strong. I have given BJ’s to men who were cut before and I give them to my husband who is uncut. The only difference is that now I use my hand to hold the skin back when I need to. It’s really not much different. And although when I first saw it, I was taken aback slightly. But, that only lasted about a couple seconds while I examined it and figured out what to do. It did not deter me from what I was planning, nor did it change anything. It was actually more fun because it was something new and I got to learn something in the process.

    Just thought I would throw my experience in there so others can realize that I may not be like all women, but it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I have 3 boys now who are uncut! And I wouldn’t have it any other way! The cultural shift that is happening across the US in regards to circumcision, will cause a whole new generation of women who are going to have a different opinion.

    • Lynn
      December 18, 2010

      I’m glad you had a good experience. Truth be told, the entire thing was a funny story to shock my Mother in Law. I’ve actually never been with an uncircumcised man and am unlikely to be at this point. Thanks for commentin.

    • Amy Barton
      December 19, 2010

      Not that I’m trying to turn Lynn’s blog into a sexual how-to guide, but for anyone else who is wondering – don’t feel you have to just push the foreskin out of the way every time. Depending on how long it is, you can suck on it, move it back and forth with your lips, brush your tongue against the frenulum (which many cut guys don’t have) and use his own skin to aid in stimulation. There are many more options for oral and hand jobs for intact than cut guys, I’ve found :-) Every guy’s different, but for some the constant direct stimulation of the glans is a bit much, like constant direct touching of the clitoris.

  46. therma cuts
    December 26, 2010

    It is always pleasure to read your blog, will back here soon

  47. Wasserbetten
    February 4, 2011

    What a great post!

    • Lynn
      February 4, 2011

      Glad you enjoyed it

  48. Cheryl
    June 13, 2011

    Good lord I thought I was outspoken! I have to introduce you to my Mom – she might reclaim me as a daughter after all :-) Also have never thought of this aspect but as am about to embark on a new relationship thank you for ensuring I take a close look on any first encounter….

    • Lynn
      June 13, 2011

      Hahaha…I have no filter…also, taunting my MIL is a blood sport for me…

  49. Crystal
    June 13, 2011

    Hahaha! I loved the description of your FIL! Thanks for the laugh!

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      my pleasure…thanks for reading

  50. Here from Time Warp Tuesday…

    VERY entertained by your story LOL! We put a lot of research into it and our doctor told us medically it really doesn’t make a difference. The risk of infection is less one way, risk of penile cancer is less the other but they are about equal and both VERY rare complications so it goes off of personal preference. We still weren’t sure by the time my son was born. I’ve had both and don’t really care one way or another personally and more and more boys are not circumcised so that shouldn’t be as big of a deal by the time my son is older, LOL. But we never really “chose” what to do. I was on blood thinners for a clotting disorder and they would not do the circumcision since I was breastfeeding and even though its a very small dose that goes through the milk, it still posed a bleeding risk to him so we had to wait and by the time I was no longer nursing it would have been a HUGE ordeal, we would have had to go see a urologist, and it would be a much bigger deal than a simple procedure in the doctor’s office. Regardless, AWESOME story =]

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      yeah, it was just supposed to be a funny story

  51. Helena
    June 14, 2011

    Hahahaha, that is one fantastic MIL conversation. I bet she never forgot it. Also, I agree.

    (and I think I’ll follow you :)

  52. SM
    June 14, 2011

    First of all… HILL-AR-EE-US! (yes that was intentional)

    Second…I disagree. I’ve been around adult an penis with a hoodie (LOL) and it wasn’t an issue. I have seriously strong anti-circumcision views though… but I’m not going to open up THAT can of worms. ;)

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      well, i was MOSTLY just trying to shock my MIL but seriously, i don’t care one way or the other. However,as seen by the comments, there were many STRONG opinions on the subject

  53. Alison@Mama Wants This
    June 14, 2011

    I just spent 15 minutes reading all the comments & your replies, from when you posted this 6 months ago.

    I’d just like to say this: why can’t people read something and take it as it is, for the spirit it was written in? I laughed when I read your conversation with your MIL. It was VERY obvious you were just getting a rise out of her (pun intended!) and you were in no way advocating circumcision just for blow jobs.

    People are so uptight, aren’t they?

    :)

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      i know right? it was just a funny story to me…to each his own is my attitude

    • By Word of Mouth Musings
      June 14, 2011

      Thank you for this Alison, love when my blog party hoppers have fun in a friend’s bloghome! Also, when they show them courtesy and respect. And for those, I thank you more x

      • Lynn
        June 14, 2011

        thanks you…i appreciate you showing up. I personally think live and let live but people are certainly entitled to their opinions.

        BTW…my son is almost 18 so this decision and that story took place YEARS AND YEARS ago.

  54. Not a Perfect Mom
    June 14, 2011

    Firstly, where have you been all my life? I’ve never laughed so hard…
    Secondly, what is up everyone’s asses? I couldn’t believe the comments! Obviously the point of the post was to get under your MIL’s skin (ha!)
    People need to chill the fuck out…seriously…

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      I completely agree with you…i simply wrote a funny story and it caused a huge clusterfuck …. and apparently is again

      Whatever people…get over yourselves

  55. AnnD
    June 14, 2011

    People who are against circumcision see it as a human right’s issue so it’s not easy for us to dismiss even the most casual jokes about it. Furthermore, even a casual joke like this perpetuates the lies that having a foreskin makes you less sexually desireable and less hygenic which is NOT true. Do the research, people. Circumcision is a cosmetic surgery with nothing but bad consequences.

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      I’ve pretty much already had this entire debate on the blog…it was a FUNNY STORY PEOPLE

      • Name *
        June 14, 2011

        It’s not funny. Making fun of Intact men is not funny. I was addressing the people’s questions as to why some others are getting all worked up about this.

  56. Josh
    June 14, 2011

    Amen! I’d never go down on an uncircumcised woman either. Nobody wants a clitoris up their nose!

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      hahaha..ok then

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      Excuse me Josh? That was meant to be funny, right?

    • Lara
      June 14, 2011

      In regards to ‘female circumcision’, it’s usually carried out in third-world countries and practiced upon 5 year old girls who are held down, force-fed alcohol in lieu of anethesia while their clitoris and outer labia are sawed off with a none-too-clean, oftentimes-rusty blade, then sewn up. For the rest of their life they will experience pain, infection and difficulties with menstruation, sex and giving birth. They will also have a lack of pleasure with intercourse, as that part has been taken away from them.

  57. Intactivist
    June 14, 2011

    So incredibly ignorant. Send the real men with the whole penises to real women (or men!) who appreciate them. I sure as hell prefer a penis that hasn’t been mutilated and scarred.

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      whatever

  58. Cyn
    June 14, 2011

    “However,as seen by the comments, there were many STRONG opinions on the subject”

    That’s probably because infant circumcision is seen as a human rights issue by many people; the genital mutilation of children is not viewed as suitable material for comedy.

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      oh i get why there were comments…

  59. Lara
    June 14, 2011

    Here on the Time Travel Tuesdays Alexa Hop.

    Actually, my husband isn’t circumcised, but when he was 8, and noticed things getting a bit grimy there, he very carefully started pulling the ‘hoodie’ back down, and eventually it stayed that way – looking as if circumcised, but with noplace for grime to accumulate. He’s extremely clean there. He said it was a bit sore at first, but soon everything was fine.
    No problems with marital relations of any form :)

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      Thanks for coming by

  60. Name *
    June 14, 2011

    Good Lord! My boys are not circumcised. It’s a personal choice but because I try not to take myself seriously and have a sense of humour, I quite enjoyed this post anyway!! Good on you and good on your for putting up with the comments you’ve received thus far. You’ve been more gracious than I would’ve been a time or two.

    VERY FUNNY STORY (this is for the benefit of the haters with too much time on their hands).

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      It’s not a parental choice, nor more than giving your daughter plastic surgery because you think her body is imperfect is a parental choice. It’s not YOUR body, it’s the little boy’s body. Sovereignty over one’s body and what happens to it is priceless and irreplaceable.

  61. Angela
    June 14, 2011

    I missed the name part last time and don’t want anyone to think I am trying to be anonymous. So yes, it was I who has the uncircumsized boys but was still able to very much appreciate the humour in this post.

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      Thanks…I have no strong opinion one way or another

  62. Anna
    June 14, 2011

    You may think this is hilarious, btu quite frankly- it’s disturbing. Who talks about babies and blow jobs in the same sentence? Really?

    My MIL actually tried to use that (pathetic) argument as a reason I should circ my son. Disgusting.

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      Well Anna, your opinion is duly noted

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      I agree, Anna. I’ve been told my son will never get a blow job because he’s Intact. Funnily enough, I wasn’t thinking about my son’s sex life when he was a newborn. I was out to protect him from unnecessary harm and that includes making sure he isn’t tied down so some doctor can make money by cutting off a functioning part of his little body. I’m not too worried about it though. In 2009, 60% of the boys born in the U.S. were left Intact. And as another mommy blogger I know of said that a foreskin can also be a “Dumb Bimbo” repellent later in her son’s life…it keeps away the vain, uncultured and uneducated women from her son.

  63. Tex
    June 14, 2011

    Lynn, why don’t you try to tackle something less controversial…like abortion, or homosexuality? lol

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      hahaha…i was just telling that to my son. Don’t forget Breast Feeding…

  64. Jayme (Random Blogette)
    June 14, 2011

    So are the Jews wrong because they practice circumcision? I don’t think so. And also in my whorish years I never encountered a hoodie so I guess there are still SEVERAL circumcised men out there! I think it is up to the parent and if they wanna do it great, if not what the fuck ever. =)

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      I totally agree..that was my experience too

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      There are only three places in the world where the circ rate is above 50% (the Midwestern United States, the Eastern United States and Israel). In 2009, 60% of boys born that year were left Intact.

      Circumcision began in the Victorian era as a way to stop boys from masturbating (the foreskin has 70,000 – 150,000 unique fine-touch nerve endings and, more importantly, Intact men do not need lubrication to masturbate) so the thought was that if you de-sensitized the penis and took away the self-gliding mechanism that the foreskin offered, boys would not masturbate. They called this “moral hygiene.” Rub a finger gently down your palm, do you see how you can feel where your finger rubbed it even after you removed it? That is because your palm contains Meissner’s Corpsucles (which are also found in the foreskin and these are all removed after a boy is circumcised).

      And pretty soon, mass circumcision of baby boys entered our hospitals because under the false pretense that is more hygienic. Nowadays, the practice continues in the U.S. because it is a billion dollar a year business for doctors and hospitals between the insurance reimbursements for the procedure and the sale of foreskins to biopharm. and cosmetic companies.

      More and more Jewish parents are keeping their boys Intact too and just having the naming ceremony (called a Brit Shalom) without circ’ing their boys.

      Educate yourself, parents! This is a COSMETIC surgery!

  65. Here from Nicole’s TTT….stumbled this too.
    BUT OMG, WTF have I DONE? Yeah, the Dude isn’t circumcised. I didn’t even consider BJs. The DH thought he’d have more “pleasure” wearing a hood.

    He’s only a month old, its not too late to do the snip snip is it?

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      Hahaha…according to the comments, it’s fine either way…

  66. By Word of Mouth Musings
    June 14, 2011

    I would like to apologise to Lynn.
    For those of us who have met her IRL, she is an intelligent, educated, smart woman, who also happens to be a fabulous Mom. She is witty and irreverent, and writes funny stories about her family and her life … and they are stories.
    HER stories.
    If you don’t like what she has to say – then do yourself a favor and move on.
    Yes, this is a serious discussion to be had.
    This is not the place to have it. A Humor Blog. There are more than 156 million public blogs – go find one you like.
    Attacking her here in her bloghome is just not acceptable. If any of the people that came here today came from my hop, then Lynn, I most sincerely apologise and will be the first to buy you a cocktail next week in Ashville.

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      Oh…that’s so sweet of you but you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not concerned in the least and actually, i’m posting a rebuttal about the entire thing tomorrow…but thanks Nicole…i’m all good

  67. Marley
    June 14, 2011

    So even though one of the risks is the baby bleeding to death, at least some superficial girl will still suck his cock! Really? If you’re not planning on sucking his dick, why care? Over 80% of male population in the world is intact, so clearly there are some girls out there more than happy to suck an intact penis– nice argument though, blowjobs totally outweigh the risk of death.

    Touche.

    • Name *
      June 14, 2011

      I have mentioned before that I prefer an intact man for everything really. I am not alone. I have been told by many, many women that they prefer intact males. Sooooo, being intact does not deter or repulse. Thanks Marley.

  68. Touche or is that touchy ...
    June 14, 2011

    apparently we don’t need superficial girls at all … with a mouth like yours, sure you’d suck anything …

  69. Carla
    June 14, 2011

    Holy shit Lynn. I cannot believe this entire clusterfuck has started up again. It’s as bad as it was during the first go ’round. Get a grip people!

    • Lynn
      June 14, 2011

      Yeah…I posted it somewhere cuz I thought it was funny…whatever is my opinion. Of course, I do have a rebuttal tomorrow

  70. Holistic Herbal
    June 14, 2011

    This post made me nearly fall off my chair with laughter! What an absolutely fantastic story Lynn – had me hooked all the way through! While I never would have talked like that to my mil, we were both “quiet” types and never argued, it sounds like you actually had some fun with her — atta girl! Your writing is eloquent and mesmerizing, keep up the good work.

    Found you via By Word of Mouth Musings, and so very happy to have done so. Will be back for more :)

  71. Marsha
    June 15, 2011

    That was hilarious! I am a new fan.

    http://www.ourbananamoments.com
    http://www.facebook.com/ourbananamoments

  72. Don E. Chute
    June 16, 2011

    First of All WTF 191 comments Jeeezzzuss! My finger is really tired from scrolling\\\\\\\\\\\ I am here in another dimension the dimension is your post |http://allfookedup.com/in-which-i-respond-to-the-bullshit/|

    God this is one the friggin funniest things I have ever read! Thank God you will decide at a date later in the future to keep blogging. Cuz as you will discover, your really fuckin great at it! I mean bundle the posts up someday in the future and make em into a book GREAT!

    Peace Out…Your future blogging buddy!

    • Lynn
      June 16, 2011

      well, it was between the first posting and the posting the other days…not all at one time AND the nasty comments weren’t posted so use your imagination

  73. Galit Breen
    June 16, 2011

    OMG Lynn, I’m pretty sure that this is one of the first posts I ever read of yours! I loved it then and still love it now.

    I got your back girl. Although I have weak arms and may not be of much help, but I still got your back!

    XO

    • Lynn
      June 16, 2011

      hahaha…i think it’s all over now but thanks…hope it goes smoother on your blog today

  74. Annie at Maximum Chaos
    June 16, 2011

    OMG! That is the most hilarious story ever! That is quite a compelling reason to get a circumcision. Wish I could be so forthcoming with my MIL! LOVE IT!!!

    • Lynn
      June 16, 2011

      I’m glad you enjoyed it!!!

  75. Mike
    June 22, 2011

    I thought it you made a valid and hilarious point.

    • Lynn
      June 22, 2011

      Thanks Mike

  76. Sheila
    June 22, 2011

    I had to comment on this post. I just found your blog, and have been reading all the old postings.
    When my son was born (1970) it was the norm to have the baby circumcised. But I would have had it done anyway. From my readings, I just felt it was easier to keep the area clean. And I’m all about clean.
    Anyway, fast forward 30+ years; and my son is having sons. For some reason (and he never did explain this) he didn’t want his sons circumcised. His wife agreed with me, btw. Ok, but 7 years later his oldest son had to have it done. (Now, this HAS to be traumatic for a child.) Because there was a muscle, length of skin, or something which was attached somewhere and pulling. I figured something like having your long hair caught in your necklace. Sort of… So my son now has one
    son circumcised; and one son un-circumcised. See, I would want a matched pair. But that’s just me. Anyway, I asked my grandson how he was, and if he could tell any difference. He enthusiastically told me that now he could run faster! So there you have the argument for circumcision. Track and Field.

    • Lynn
      June 22, 2011

      Hahaha…track and field…hilarious

  77. liz
    June 26, 2011

    I had to come read the epic post. 81 stumbles even. You should write more controversial posts and keep the crazies coming to ya!

    • Lynn
      June 26, 2011

      Hey girl! So you got back safely? Awesome…yeah, I should piss people off.

Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest
Enter your Email

Recent articles


Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest




Go to All Fooked Up Store