This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i discuss following

 

Recently, I wrote about Mom bloggers, wondering whether I was actually a mom blogger or not and also, how you can get deeply tied into the entire numbers game.  I had some great comments and I actually met some new people, one of whom I was “tweeting” to last night.  Kind of like talking, only much more annoying since I’m quite talkative and I’ve never had a thought less than 140 characters that didn’t include the words “fuck you.”

At any rate, we were talking about the “you follow me and I’ll follow you” mentality and she was really nice so I went and checked out her blog.  (NETWORKING…here I come.)  She had written a cute post and I checked it out and saw she has about 400 some odd followers.  I’m at 99 and I’m pretty proud of myself because I think at least 5 or 10 of them actually read my shit.  Totally intrigued, I had the following “conversation” with her:
 
Me:                         “Are you kidding me? You have 400 followers, that’s nothing to sneer at.  How long have you been doing this?”
 
Her:                        “Since June”
 
Me:                         “SINCE JUNE?  Are you kidding me?  That’s only two more months than me, how did you get so many (thought bubble, “and what the fuck is wrong with me?”) …and why do you need more?”
 
Her:                         “There are people who started at the same time as me who have thousands of followers.”
 
Me:                          “Are you serious?  THOUSANDS? How did they do that?”
 
Her:                          “I’m not sure”
 
I do know one thing. When I started this blog I didn’t know a damn thing about blogging, bloggers, mommy bloggers … well, let’s just admit it: I didn’t know SHIT.  So somebody recommended that I join the Mom Bloggers Club and I did.  One of the big things about MBC is the “if you follow me, I’ll follow you” mentality.  I thought about that long and hard and realized that very frankly, I don’t want to follow most people.  I’m beyond the little kid stage so I don’t want to read about that unless it’s hysterically funny.  I definitely like funny.  Giveaways?  Get away.  Not interested.  For better or worse, if I want something I’ll go get it.  I don’t like being harassed 24/7.  I got kids for that.  
 
So no, I don’t want to just “follow” anybody. I have found some interesting blogs to follow.  Many are from overseas discussing things like being an expatriate in another country.  I find these blogs to be very interesting because that’s one thing I wish I had done:  taken a risk and lived somewhere else.  I follow a few very funny blogs because like I said, I like funny.  Of course, as my own biggest fan, it is disheartening to hear my husband pronounce that “I think so-and-so might be funnier than you Lynn.”  What? WHAT?  Did he just say that? That is a taboo topic in our house!
 
I’m not doing the tit-for-tat thing (is that a real thing?)  So how do these people get their numbers?  I have no clue and honestly, having a bunch of followers who are just token followers doesn’t appeal to me at all.  There are actually some early followers who just followed because they’re friends of mine so if they’re not actually reading, I’d just as soon they dropped me.
 
It’s funny though. I started the blog to write a book.  I’ve since discovered that EVERYBODY wants to write a book.  I also wanted to be on a talk show as a guest.  That was my ultimate purpose.  I didn’t know about all the competition and this woman was telling me about all the drama with the bloggers and that it’s like high school.  Well, high school sucked and there’s no way I’m going back. I either haven’t experienced it or I’m oblivious but I haven’t seen any drama either.  At any rate, I’m trying to stay focused (with the help of a chemical that I refer to as Ritalin) and not get bogged down with the “follower” bullshit.  So follow me if you want but don’t expect me to follow you back.
 
If you leave a comment, I ALWAYS check out your site.  I’m not in it for the numbers.  I’m not in it for the money.  I’m in it because I fucking feel like it so FOLLOW ME, DON’T FOLLOW ME…whatever…make a choice!

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56 Comments

  1. Kristine
    December 21, 2010

    Morning!
    I follow your blog in Google reader because frankly you crack me up. I love your style of writing and I think you would be a riot to sit down with and have a cup of coffee. Those are the kind of folks I follow. It helps that you aren’t afraid to use f-bombs too.

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Thank you…that was an EXCELLENT way to start my day by reading this comment. Sure, come have a cup of coffee with me. I would love to sit down with you. I live in North Carolina so you’ll have to show up here! THanks for commenting.

  2. rachat de credit
    December 21, 2010

    J’ai appris des choses interessantes grace a vous, et vous m’avez aide a resoudre un probleme, merci.

    – Daniel

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Thanks…I had my daughter read this French to me!

  3. By Word of Mouth Musings
    December 21, 2010

    Hey, just realized that you were talking about me :)
    Just call me your ditsy blonde friend …

    Think that you can drive yourself crazy with numbers – by the way, the one with thousands is now at 4100 in six months, I met her, you wouldn’t hang out with her in a bar …
    Me on the other hand, I’m the one that is looking forward to a late night chat in a bar at #Blissdom

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      I know right? I don’t get it…what’s up with that? Perhaps there’s a trick…whenever I start thinking about it, I just try to remember that selling your soul sucks… I think…I’m not sure as nobody has ever offered to buy it. Fuck em!

    • MrsDCSRN
      December 21, 2010

      I stumbled on your blog a few weeks ago. You make me smile :) I have added you into my google reader, so it updates me when you update. I don’t know who reads my blog except for some close friends and my family & I’m ok with it. When I first started mine in 2005 I kept it private and had no idea what I was doing. Its open and I use it bitch, rant, or keep friends or the in-laws. So whatever. I love your blog and I love this post. I almost did care a while ago but I too did not enjoy high school. As long as I have the close people I want and need, I could care less about what the others think :) Thanks for the post!

      • Lynn
        December 21, 2010

        Thanks…i’m glad i did this post. I’m actually hearing from people who are enjoying it. I guess that “Followers” is an indication that somebody is out there but, at times, i wonder if they’re real people. NOW i KNOW they are. Thanks for the comment. I enjoy having an open blog as i’m an open person and maybe it’s just me, but i feel like i have a lot to say. Have a great day…and week…and holiday season.

      • Lynn
        December 21, 2010

        And thanks for the comment…I TRY to keep perspective but it doesn’t always work!

  4. Carla E. Knight
    December 21, 2010

    I follow you because I “get” you. You are usually funny, and believe me I need funny. I’ve checked out a lot of blogs, but most of them get one shot and I’m gone. I don’t expect you to follow me. I don’t expect anyone to follow me. I really do use it as a way to get shit outta my head. Just keep on being you and to Hell with the rest of ’em.

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Thanks Carla…i appreciate it. You’re always so good about commenting. Sometimes, i wonder if i’m talking to a black hole but then, with three kids…i’m used to that! hahaha

      • Carla E. Knight
        December 21, 2010

        Actually, I think talking to a black hole comes with long time marriages. I’m sure Bud never hears anything I say (even when I say “watch my mouth”, and I know for a fact I only pay attention to him if it sounds as if he might say something I’d like to hear.

        • Lynn
          December 21, 2010

          hahaha…perhaps…but i meant metaphorically with the blog!

  5. Victoria KP
    December 21, 2010

    I am tickled to death about having 11 followers–some of them aren’t even related! I think I’d be impossible to live with if I ever had thousands (or even hundreds).

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      hahaha…i’m going to say the say thing no matter what. Every once in a while i write something that i actually think is good and in those times, i wish there were a lot of people reading it. Other than that, i’m trying to just enjoy the process. I do get frustrated sometimes…which is stupid, i know. But i’m only human…kinda…sorta

      Thanks for the comment!

  6. Kathy
    December 21, 2010

    You make me laugh, and I can see myself in you too. You’ve got to be able to laugh, even if it’s through the tears, right? I have maybe two people who read my pathetic blog. Maybe it would be better if I weren’t such a slacker about posting. Keep it up!

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      I’m actually pretty good about posting because i’m enjoying it. Sometimes, i just have to remember why i started. and then i can’t remember because…why did i start? oh well, thanks for commenting and reading…and laughing

  7. Nicki
    December 21, 2010

    I actually started a group on MBC called “Followers Following Blogs That Are Relatable. This is the description I gave it. Reciprocity is good but it is such an honor to get followers because they TRULY LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! What a wonderful compliment! No obligation to follow back but please check out the other blogs in the group!

    I am the ONLY member. HAHAHA! I am with you. I love followers. Let’s face it. None of us want to write blogs that will never be read. That is called a diary. We all need to have some relatedness in our lives and comments make us feel good (usually). BUT! Don’t follow me if you have no plans on reading my shit. Don’t try to guilt me into following you. I am not a young stay at home mom who is looking to read that Little Johnny Whatthefuckshisname stood up for the first time! I want to read about people like me…old enough to know what it is like when her daughter wants to go on the pill and can’t walk far because of arthritis!

    I do follow some people who have very little in common with me because for some reason, I just like reading their stuff!

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Hahaha…I totally get you. I am following some blogs but it’s soooo hard to keep up sometimes. I’m already ignoring everyones needs around here…I actually have been for years!!! I’ll check out that group. I keep getting all this give a way crap…

  8. Samantha
    December 21, 2010

    You make an excellent point! What’s the purpose of having millions of followers if only one or ten read and comment? I read your blog because you’re funny.

    You said: “It’s funny though. I started the blog to write a book. I’ve since discovered that EVERYBODY wants to write a book.”

    My response: “Me too!”

    Well, maybe that’s not the only reason, but deep down inside I’d like to have a book. I just like writing.

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      I never thought about the writing aspect…I just had a lot of funny stories that I’ve barely even touched because my entire life is going off on constant tangents…oh well

      Thanks for commenting

  9. Megan (Best of Fates)
    December 21, 2010

    Follow me-follow you? Is messed up. Because nobody has that kind of time. Unless by “follow” they mean “push a button on a sidebar” and then, well, I’m a fan of games but surely that one’ll get boring after a while.

    And though I’ve been blogging for years, I have absolutely no idea why some people gets thousands of followers and why some have none.

    But I can tell it’s not talent.

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Follow me-follow you IS messed up. Not only because there’s not enough time..but because it’s an empty shell. I would rather have 10 true followers than hundreds of ghosts. I can’t see where talent is always part of the process. I have read some beautiful blogs that nobody follows and some “funny” blogs that just seem…so ordinary…to me at least. Of course, to each his own (or hers) i suppose. At any rate, i’m trying not to get wrapped up in that crap. After all, it’s not a job for me or anything.

      Thanks for the comment!

  10. Kelly
    December 21, 2010

    Hi Lynn, I have stumbled across your blog and it is fucking hysterical! I LOVE IT! I too have a potty mouth, can you tell? I am new into reading blogs. I have thought about starting my own just to get everything out of my head and to see if I was the only mother that feels like a total psycho sometimes. Anywho…I think you are doing a great job and you are very entertaining for me. Thank you!

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Thanks so much. I’m sure there are plenty of crazy people out there like us. Thanks for joining my ramblings. I’m having fun and I’m glad you are too!! I look forward to hearing more from you!!!

  11. Ginger
    December 21, 2010

    I’ve been blogging for over 2 years, and in that time, my traffic has remained small. I’ve got a few hundred followers on Twitter, but I know those folks don’t all read my blog. I’ve got about 100 RSS subscribers. Other than that? Who knows?
    I’d love to have a popular blog, but I refuse to do the follow me-follow you game. I read a ridiculous amount (I have to read blogs for work too), so I only read those that interest me. If I interest you too, that’s awesome, but I’m not going to stop reading you because you don’t read me, or read you just because you read me.
    Anyway, uh, yeah, what you said.

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Aha…I loved that response…so yeah…now I’m intrigued and am going to check you out. I don’t even know how to check the RSS thingie…I don’t care so much about how many people read…but…it is difficult fulfilling my goal of being a Professional Talk Show Guest without readers

  12. @MASisMore
    December 21, 2010

    I have 2 Twitter accounts with thousands of followers, not to mention the accounts I manage. It is very true that quality is what one should seek over quantity. My followers came over time and i’ve tried different things to grow them. I will say that for the most part they are not “token followers”. RTing other is the best way to get real followers and expand your influence. It takes time, but it works and is fun too. I enjoyed your post! Thank you!

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Thanks for commenting on the post. I’m just getting into the groove of both blogging and Twitter. Most of all, I’m having fun meeting people and writing so, I’m not going anywhere and this blog isn’t going anywhere and we will see if the old adage is true: if you build it, they will come! Thanks for the RT

  13. Theresa Sonoda
    December 21, 2010

    I fucking choose to follow you, so there. You’re funny…..so sue me. I like funny.

    And AMEN to the ‘you follow me, I’ll follow you’ crap.

    Terri

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Hahaha…thanks so much!

  14. Elizabeth-flourish in progress
    December 21, 2010

    Awww….i know what you mean. I just started blogging in September and this whole blogging thing is such a mystery to me! Glad to know someone feels the same way and isn’t afraid to say so!

    glad to know you.=)

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      Well…when I figure it out I’ll let you know but until then, welcome aboard

  15. vodkamom
    December 21, 2010

    I realized not long after starting my blog (a couple of years ago) that everyone really DID want to write a book. Just like me. And then, after a time, I realized that the daily writing of the blog was bringing me as much comfort and MUCH MORE FRIENDSHIP than a book every would.

    And I didn’t need an agent to write the blog. It’s a win, win.

    • Lynn
      December 21, 2010

      True…true. I have already met sooo many people with this blog…like YOU!!! Still, I will need more people to be a Professional Talk show Guest… Hahaha

      I am enjoying myself though. See ya!

  16. Erin
    December 23, 2010

    I can barely remember how I ended up here tonight – I was blog hopping….b/c my benadryl (ghetto fabulous sleep aid) has not yet kicked in and I dont’ want to watch the dumbass show my hubs has on….

    so…You are funny and true.

    The end. I will follow you b/c the whole time I read your post I kept shaking my head “yes.” “YES.” “Exactly!”

    That is how I determine if someone is relatable to me.

    I am so SO grateful that you are officially giving me permission to de-clutter my reader and be true to the few blogs that I REALLY TRULY think are worth my minutes:)

    ps – you’ll def. want to follow me, my mom says I’m fabulous:) HA HA HA

    • Lynn
      December 23, 2010

      Hahaha…I loved, loved, loved your comment. I will definitely check outnyour blog tomorrow. I’m sp psyched you stumbled over here. Not much pretense going on. THANKS!!!

  17. Emma Jayne
    December 26, 2010

    I am totally with you on this. I am a mom but not a mommy blogger. Actually, I don’t even like kids (used to…untill I had a couple of my own) and avoid them like the plague. I write about my kids when they come up with something funny (like my son calling his dad’s new girlfriend a whore), but other than that I try to avoid them.

    Followers? Who gives a flying monkey shit? And if you don’t say “fuck” alot or wish you were a slut in real life, and can’t hold your own with a bottle of vodka…I don’t wanna know you anyway.

    Love you!!

    • Lynn
      December 26, 2010

      I know what you mean…where do we fit in? Uh oh, I don’t know if I can hold my own with Vodka though. Ummmm. Does that rule me out? Hope not!

  18. Walker
    December 26, 2010

    Well, I guess it’s apt that I’m following Emma as she’s my new role model…without the vodka.
    I admit to getting caught up in the numbers game, we all do. I want followers who are there for me, not to plug their own blogs….
    Go check out my less ‘sedate’ blog: http://delicacies.wordpress.com

    • Lynn
      December 26, 2010

      Will do! I’m happy to check out the blog of a sympatico type!

  19. Abby
    December 28, 2010

    You don’t have to follow me back. But you’ve got me hooked, lovely lady! You’re wicked funny. :-D Thanks for the read; keep it up.

    • Lynn
      December 28, 2010

      Thanks…but of course, I will check you out because that’s what I do. Thanks for checking me out!!!

  20. Jen
    December 28, 2010

    Ok, I have not being doing this blogging deal long at all. I am doiing this because I enjoy it not for any other reason, though you did say something about money and I would take it. I’m just saying.

    Anyway, I had no idea there was this high schoolish click. I admit that I followed someone cause they followed me. The blog was not good and I decided to never do it again, like I am moral or something.

    • Lynn
      December 28, 2010

      It’s not moral or amoral…it’s just INCREDIBLY difficult not to get all drawn into the numbers thing. Even though I try not to play those games, it’s difficult to ignore them. I suppose the key is to just keep being yourself and hopefully, an audience will find you…or not I suppose.

  21. crayon wrangler
    January 20, 2011

    Hi I,m your newest follower. Great site. i’d love for you to check out my site when you get a chance.

    OMGag…how many times have I read that? Its about as sincere as a rattlesnake smile. Anywho…I do read you and I *get* you so I come back. Period.

    • Lynn
      January 20, 2011

      Hahaha…I love your name, Crayon Wrangler. I see all these sites with thousands of followers and I can’t figure it out…how they got so many. But, I try to put it aside and just go on with my day. I just write in bursts and do what I want to. The only person I could truly ever please is me…so that’s all I do.

      I’m going to check you put now cuz you’re a sweetie!!!

  22. Lady Estrogen
    February 5, 2011

    I like to say that I’d rather have 100 followers that read my shit that 1000 that don’t… although it looks good, doesn’t it. lol.
    I started to write a book too… big surprise… but it’s almost done – so what to do with the next 2 years? hahaha..

    • Lynn
      February 5, 2011

      Whats your book about? Mine was going to be all my misadventures but I haven’t really been writing them out so…who knows?

  23. FranceRants
    March 6, 2011

    I follow you, but I don’t officially ‘follow you’ because I haven’t been able to figure out how to sign up on your blog, so you are on my favorites dropdown. Sometimes I comment, sometimes I don’t, and sometimes I comment and it doesn’t post and I get pissed and go eat some chocolate.

    I do have some people who know me and follow me on their dropdown and send me comments via my personal email address, but they are not official followers, although they are officials readers (but maybe it’s because I ask them if they read my blog and quiz them on a weekly basis and they have no choice.)

    Then I have followers who don’t ever send me messages and I wonder if they really follow me at all, because they have about 500 others they follow too. Besides, I figure if they really read me, then they would comment, because how could they not respond to my impressive wit?

    Then I have family members who should be following me and don’t, but maybe it’s because they hear my stuff first hand on the phone. Or maybe they are just pretending to listen to me on the phone and are tuning me out.

    • Lynn
      March 6, 2011

      Well France…sometimes these comments go into wait for moderation and honestly? I don’t know why. Let’s see, you can follow me via Networked blogs which means you need to have FB or by google friends which you need a google account or just by RSS or by email. No matter…I read your stuff too although I’m sure if I’m official or not either. No worries.

      And chocolate? I don’t trust people who don’t love chocolate. That’s just abnormal!!!

  24. FranceRants
    March 6, 2011

    shit-man-damn. it happened again. i wrote a great frickin response and where the hell did it go?

  25. FranceRants
    March 6, 2011

    and i can’t rewrite it becuz it took me 10 mins and just so you know i follow you but not officially because i can’t fricking figure it out and you are on my favorite and i also wrote something about chocolate and family and friends who tune me out, etc. and i give up.

  26. FranceRants
    March 6, 2011

    oh look, it popped up after all.

    and i guess that sometimes you just have crazies who comment on your blog and you wished they wouldn’t…….

  27. Mara
    April 10, 2011

    I would say that #s of blog followers matter only if you’re trying to get free stuff, not just get your words out there. Anyways, I read a blogbecause they touch me in some way. I don’t think everyone has the same tastes so the follow me follow you doesn’t jibe with me either. If I ask someone to read its because I want their honest opinion. It still surprises and thrills me when someone likes what I have to say.
    Mara recently posted..Is it Better to Eat Cod’s Tongue or Tongue a CodMy Profile

    • Lynn
      April 10, 2011

      For me personally, i just liie to know that people are reading. I don’t advertise or anything so it’s kind of a way to see if my readership is expanding. Having said that, I try not to pay attention to it but I’m always amazed how many followers many other blogs have.

      Oh well, no matter. I just keep on keeping on.

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