This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
In which i discuss Shrooms
I was having a conversation with Andie today when somehow it segued into a conversation on Psilocybin Mushrooms heretofore referred to as Shrooms. I bet you’re wondering how that came up didn’t you?
Well, a few years ago I was having a conversation with my girls about drugs and I pointed out that I have always regretted NOT doing Shrooms. See? I wanted to when I was in college but none of my friends would do them with me and you need to have a Shroom buddy to do something like that. Long story short, it never happened.
The other day Bill Maher commented that Johns Hopkins (coincidentally the PLACE WHERE I WANTED TO TRY THEM ANYHOW) just had a study on Psilocybin Mushrooms. It seems that “Mushrooms Open the Door to Creativity!”
It’s true! Here’s what the article said.
A Johns Hopkins study shows that taking a dose of magic mushrooms can alter one’s personality in a positive way. “The fact that openness was increased, seemingly permanently, after a single experience of psilocybin is remarkable,” says NYU researcher Dr. Stephen Ross.
At Johns Hopkins University of Medicine in Baltimore, Roland R. Griffiths tested 51 subjects and was surprised by what he found: “Remarkably, this study shows that psilocybin actually changes one domain of personality that is strongly related to traits such as imagination, feeling, abstract ideas and aesthetics, and is considered a core construct underlying creativity in general. And the changes we see appear to be long-term.”
Bill Maher was psyched and SO WAS I! Of course, then I was unbelievable depressed because I’m pretty sure I’ve missed my window of opportunity. At any rate, I was telling Andie about the Shroom findings when she told me that I should go ahead and try them now. Here’s what occurred:
Andie: Mom, you should try them now
Me: I can’t believe I’ve wasted my entire life being uncreative. I blame my lack of shroom knowledge
Andie: It’s not too late. Go ahead and get some and try them.
Me: I don’t think I can do shrooms at age 52.
Andie: Where would you get some?
Me: I’m sure I could track them down. I could have in college. Can you track them down?
Andie: I don’t know. I don’t know anyone doing shrooms.
Me: You’d have to be my buddy. I would need a buddy.
Andie: I’m not sure Daddy would approve
Me: good point
Andie: we should have a competition to see who can find shrooms first.
Me: OK. But not over the weekend…
And then I was telling Kevin about that conversation and he didn’t really think I should be doing shrooms, especially with Andie. He also felt that it wasn’t really a proper parental conversation to have. Why? Aren’t they organic?
Anyhoo, I was bemoaning the lack of creativity that’s existed since college due to the fact that my friends thought I was already too crazy to do hallucinogenic drugs when the following thought occurred to me.
Me: Hey, I should sue my college friends
Kevin: on what grounds
Me: on the grounds that they stifled my creativity by not doing shrooms with me.
Me (again): Do you think that’s considered a frivolous lawsuit?
Kevin: Probably
Me: I wonder how I could prove my case.
Kevin: I don’t know.
Me: hmmmm
Kevin: Well, anyway sweetie.
Me: What?
Kevin: What?
Me: Did you just anyway sweetie me?
Kevin: ummmm
Me: you just pulled a Seinfeld. You’re trying to hang up the phone on me. That’s your closer line!
Kevin: I think it’s more of a Larry David type of thing.
Me: you were trying to go into your closing comments and just drive and listen to the radio, weren’t you. You wanted to get RID OF ME
Kevin: well
Me: WEREN’T YOU?
Kevin: yeah…I guess I was
I’d like to write a little more but unfortunately due to the lack of creativity, I can’t think of anything else to write. I’m on the lookout for shrooms so if you guys want to become creative with me, let me know.
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I would never recommend eating pot with your parent because…I most certainly never have. However, creativity could blossom from such an experience. We watched the Spanish Channel for two hours and somehow understood every damn word.
so you got high with your parents? or your child? too funny
I agree with you Katie, we should never recommend that.
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You guys!!!
So this one time before my husband and I were married he did shrooms with a couple of his friends. I was the safe friend. I didn’t. I was stoned though. Shhh….don’t tell. It was not pretty. One guy kept telling us to keep the door shut because it was the doorway to hell. And then he saw new universes when he put Gatorade bottle caps over his eyes. My husband stretched out on the floor and giggled like a school girl. The other guys just sat there and stared at them. I sat back and smashed on Doritos and laughed hysterically at what was going on. Not so much opening the door to creativity.
And really shrooms and pot are natural. They can’t be all that bad. ;)
That’s what I think too!!! So, is he more creative and abstract now? Cuz that’s the issue
I used to work with a Psychologist who wanted to be my “coach” because he just knew I would love taking a trip. An acid trip. He was a total 60’s stoner who never gave up the Timothy Leary approach to life. Needless to say, I never took that trip because the thought of dropping acid was too much, it scared the crap out of me. However, if you do score some shrooms, maybe we could have lunch? I’ll add them to a quiche.
Shroom quiche! Yum
Do you remember that youre up tomorrow on Go ahead, amuse me???
I hope it won’t cost you any readers …… Like I said, I think I’m funnier than I actually am.
not to worry….
Well THAT explains a lot!
Although, I think I should get some credit for all the shrooms that were sautéed with my steaks over the years.
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Ummm…wrong type
I did shrooms once..and not on purpose.
According to my friends, they were on what I *thought* was a peperoni and mushroom pizza…
I guess I spent 2 hours having a wonderful conversation with the wall, and then my sneaker…and a pole dance.
Now I’m totally bummed I didn’t do them!! A pole dance???? Hahahaah
I would never ever recommend eating pot with your father or mother due to the fact. I most surely never have. Nevertheless, creativity could blossom from these kinds of an experience. We watched the Spanish Channel for two hrs and in some way understood every damn term.
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My mom and dad are long gone so no worries
I haven’t done Shrooms but I know people that have. Since they were outdoors, they told me that everything becomes brighter and more beautiful, they really enjoyed it and they would do it again. if you do decide to do them, i suggest that you eat them with something because apparently they taste like shit. oh and it’s always good to have people that are supportive of you doing shrooms because you don’t want to badtrip, it has to be a relax, calm and comfortable environment.
don’t let your age stop you from doing things, it’s just a number :)
Too funny! All the advice that I’ve gotten
I hope you find some shrooms and can fulfill your destiny. Your lawsuit against your college friends really depends on it because without doing shrooms now, you wouldn’t be able to show the difference in creativity and the resulting profitability of your shroom induced creativity. Establish how profitable you are after the shrooms (and make sure it’s conclusive that the shrooms are the cause of the change) and you’re on track to find a shady lawyer who will take the case. Good luck!
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thanks Mark….maybe i will
What’cha want? I gots tha hook up, yo! lol.
Those were some of the best nights. I suggest being in your own home and relaxed.
That is all.
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I can’t help you with this… I have the same sentiment as what you have…
Sorry but I don’t have an idea about shrooms… But I wish you will accomplish what you dream to make.
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