This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i don’t always “like” them

 

Shockingly enough, I just read Scary Mommy’s post on “mothering children in the digital age.”  I say it’s shocking because honestly, I don’t read that many blog posts any more and I don’t usually read blog posts about parenting anymore because … well, because I’m pretty much over the whole parenting thing.

 

So, Scary Mommy wrote a post about “liking” your children and is it ok to “not like” your children.  I just kind of wanted to address that.

 

I have three children.  At this point, they’ve been around a pretty long time as Keely is 22, Andie will be 21 in a few days and Daniel is 18 so I feel like I can speak from experience. One of the saving graces of having three children is that, at any point in time, I have actually been able to honestly admit that I have liked AT LEAST one of them.

 

You see? I don’t always like my children and I think there have actually been times when I hated my children.  NEVER all three at one time but as they have gotten older I have actually hated them at certain moments.  Scary Mommy made a point that you should never hate your kids but it’s ok, and probably even necessary, to NOT LIKE them at times.

 

When the kids were little they drove me crazy.  I mean, other than the normal childhood bullshit, we were dealing with horrible asthma, bad nightmares, more ear infections than seemed possible and autism.  So yeah! There were many days I wanted to surrender.  There were days when I hated my life and tried to figure out why I had made the choices I made but I NEVER hated my kids.

 

However, as the problems because less physical and more emotional and manipulative I must say that there were days when I “hated” one of my kids.  Trust me, if your kids aren’t in their late teens yet, you have no idea what I’m talking about but they are really capable of hurting your feelings.

 

I’m a pretty tough person but my kids can get under my skin like nobody else.  Just this past Christmas break when I was informed for the millionth time that I did “nothing” all day so why couldn’t I do whatever it was they asked me to do, I thought I might actually commit murder.

 

So, what I don’t get is who are all these people who sit in judgment?  Perhaps there ARE some people in the world who never have uncharitable thoughts.  Perhaps there are kids who simply don’t rub anyone the wrong way.  I personally haven’t met any but even if they do exist, who are these people to sit in judgment.

 

My parenting style, while unorthodox I admit, has managed to turn out some pretty decent kids.  No, not because they’re smart and/or attractive but because they CARE about their fellow human beings.  They’re good friends, they’re good kids and they love each other and their parents.  They’re supportive to the people around them.

 

While they don’t often admit to it (neither do I) you can tell simply by the two lists they made for their father and myself at Christmas of “100 reasons why I love you”  These lists meant more to me than if they had purchased me my own private island (maybe not a private jet though…I’d really like one of those).

 

So people, as long as it is occasionally I think it’s ok to dislike or even “hate” your kids.  I mean, you KNOW for a fact that they “hate” and dislike you.  I get told that plenty to know that’s the case.

 

And for you judgmental pricks out there who think you’re better than us?  Fuck you.

 

I’m just saying …

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

20 Comments

  1. Mary
    February 8, 2012

    I agree. My daughter is now 27 and we have an amazing relationship, but it wasn’t always that way. She started out life as a sweet loving child and by the time she was 14, she’d morphed into the spawn of satan. She probably told me twice a day that she hated me. And I told her that she was a spoiled rotten, ungrateful little bitch. Because she was. I suppose I could say that I hated “the behavior”, but when push comes to shove, isn’t it all just semantics?

    The point is… She’s a beautiful, incredibly bright young woman with an unbelievable work ethic and more importantly, she really, truly cares about people. Empathy is something I don’t see a whole hell of a lot of in her generation, but she has it. She has it in spades. That matters more to me than a suma cum laude from freakin’ Harvard any day. Keep raising your kids the way you are. It sounds to me like you’ve done a damn good job so far.
    Mary recently posted..New “Follow” Tool !!My Profile

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      thanks Mary…although I have had an unorthodox approach to parenting, yesterday was a “proud” day for me so i’m going to keep on keeping on.

      sounds like your daughter is a winner so congrats on that

  2. By Word of Mouth Musings
    February 8, 2012

    Had one of those days yesterday where my youngest just had me at a loss … I think she had me in tears twice before lunch.
    And you know that I can be pretty much sweetness and light – but our kids are not always fabulous little beings, and in turn, it does not bring out the best in us.
    See YOU in two weeks!
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Wordy Wordless Wednesday Feb 7th – We Need to Fight CancerMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      two weeks!!! well, at that age they can certainly drive you nuts

      One word: Ritalin

  3. Name *
    February 8, 2012

    Oh yeah. As soon as you throw autism in the mix, you get a whole nother ball of wax. And when ‘mood and behavior disorders’ come to play? Uh-huh. What you said.

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      Yeah!! I had that too!!! Tough times

  4. Tinna
    February 8, 2012

    Hi Lynn…I agree that it is okay to dislike our kids and even our friends and other families too…
    Tinna recently posted..How to Diet to Gain MuscleMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      True!!! I never like my family!!!

  5. Brittany
    February 8, 2012

    It is impossible to like anyone, even our kids, all the time. So you’ve got that right. But really I am just laughing that you read a parenting post and one from a month ago. You are so with it Lynn. I totally like you.
    Brittany recently posted..Working With a Staircase NookMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      Actually I read it earlier but I just didn’t get around to posting it…hahaha

  6. Melanie
    February 8, 2012

    Anyone who says they have never had a moment, or more than a moment, where they disliked their kids is a liar. I never had kids, and I don’t want any, but I have disliked many a kid. I worked with children for 13 years and the pre-teens had a way of getting under my skin. I still loved them, but sometimes I wanted to physically hurt them. It’s totally okay to think that about a child. Anyone who says different, send them to my house. I have a huge punch in the face waiting for them.

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      I agree…i hate all those sanctimonious people who act like they never felt like that.

      I call bullshit

  7. Julie
    February 8, 2012

    Any parent who hasn’t at some point disliked, hated, wanted to kill (take your pick) their kid is hitting the crack pipe. In my humble opinion.

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      HAhahaha..Leno crack pipes here

  8. Kyla
    February 8, 2012

    I’m with you ALL the way on this one!

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      I know right??L I hate people who act like this isn’t true

  9. kathykate
    February 8, 2012

    If you ain’t got teens, then don’t comment. If you do have teens (especially the vicious ones with ovaries & breasts), then you know full well why college was invented. Get the fuck out of our house so we can heal! My mom said, about yours truly driving back from college graduation, if only I knew how much I was going to like you now, it would have made those teenage years so much more bearable!
    kathykate recently posted..Slammin’ Colon CleanseMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 8, 2012

      My mom said much the same thing…I never had terrible times with my kids and I always liked at least one of them

  10. MommaC
    February 9, 2012

    Spoken like a TRUE MOM!

    I too read that Scary Mommy post and I gotta be honest here…. There are times when I dislike my kids and certainly there are moments when I hate them right then in that particular instance, but that is a 2 way street — if my kids like me every second of the day, it’s a bloody freakin’ miracle. My college kid makes me want to run away on a regular basis, and I have taken to secretly wishing a child twice as “wonderful” as she is into her future. HAH! Pox on her! LOL!

    All kidding aside, parenting doesn’t come with a one size fits all way of doing things. We all have our challenges and I have come to the conclusion? realization? both? that anyone who is overly critical of me is often deflecting from themselves… Makes you wonder what they are really like when they aren’t pointing fingers. As my kids say point a finger at me and you point 3 back at yourself…

    I 100% agree with you on this: “And for you judgmental pricks out there who think you’re better than us? Fuck you.”

    As always Lynn, you ROCK! :)
    MommaC recently posted..visitorsMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 9, 2012

      thanks for the comment. I have actually lost my temper with them and called them names although i REALLY try not to. right now though, they are all three pretty good. Of course, the girls are 21 and 22 and that makes a difference i suppose.

Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest
Enter your Email

Recent articles


Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest




Go to All Fooked Up Store 

Lynn MacDonald Art