This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i embarrassed Andie

When Andie was 15 she spent a summer abroad in Barcelona.  It was a Spanish immersion program and she was gone 4 weeks or so.  She went with a friend of hers and when she arrived back home in Greensboro, her friend Emily’s entire family was there to great them along with homemade signs saying “Welcome Back Emily” and other such things.


I, of course, was late.  Actually, I was ON TIME but the plane arrived early so by the time I parked and walked into the airport they were already in baggage claim.  When I greeted Andie she said, “Where were you?” and also pointed out that Emily’s family was NOT ONLY EARLY but had made homemade signs.


Flash forward 5 years to yesterday and I was going to the airport to pick up Andie.  This time she had spent 8 weeks down in New Orleans working as a mentor in a volunteer program called “Girl’s Hope.”  This is a terrific program that takes kids from disadvantaged homes and puts them in a group home, sends them to a private school and attempts to change the course of their lives.  Andie really enjoyed working with the kids and I think she made a difference to them. I know they made a difference to her.


At any rate, she wanted to remind me to get to the airport ON TIME to pick her up.


Andie:             Don’t forget to pick me up on time

Me:                  you know the Olympics are on right?

Andie:             yes I know.

Me:                  can’t you just get a cab home?  We’ll see you when you arrive.

Andie:             MOM


And so I was going to pick her up.  Now the awesome thing about Andie is that she is easily embarrassed and always has been.  She hated when I walked into school with her.  As a result, I would often walk into her classes and announce “hey everybody, I’m Andie MacDonald’s mom” assuming that would knock the embarrassment right out of her.  It didn’t.  I think it made it worse.


So, I told Keely that I should make her a sign since she’d been gone for so long and all she ever did was hold the other occasion over my head.


Me:                  I should make a sign for Andie

Keely:             she’ll hate that

Me:                  I know, right?

Keely:             she’ll be so embarrassed

Me:                  Wait! I have an even better idea


And I did.  When Andie was 12 she used to go to summer camp.  She was also a huge Lord of the Rings fan (as were we all) but she especially loved Legolas (I mean, who didn’t right?).  While she was at camp I bought her a life sized cardboard cutout of Legolas.  He scared the shit out of her when she got back from camp but he’s been there for 9 years in her room ready to greet her whenever she’s home.


In the meantime, she bought Keely Edward (from Twilight and incredibly creepy) and Katniss (Hunger Games … she rocks) so now Keely has two life-size cutouts of her own in her room.


Do you understand the back-story now people? DO YOU???


Me:                  I have an even better idea

Keely:             what is it?

Me:                  I’ll show up with Legolas, Katniss and Edward at the airport

Keely:             she will kill you

Me:                  you can make a sign

Keely:             a sign?

Me:                  yeah, one that says, “Welcome back Andie, Your besties missed you.”

And so she did.


I made Daniel go with me while I set them up. He was mortified but his job was to record the entire thing.  He did a lousy job mostly due to extreme mortification and embarrassment but also due to laughing so hard that the camera was shaking.


And Andie??? She was walking up to us and when she spotted us she looked shocked, immediately put the pillow over her face and walked past us like she didn’t even know us.  I then packed up the cardboard cutouts while cracking up, dropping them all over the floor, and basically making a fool out of myself.

Me:                  so, did you like your welcome?

Andie:             No

Me:                  but you said you wanted a sign?

Andie:             yeah, when I was 15

Me:                  wow, all that thought I put into it was unappreciated

Andie:             you knew I would be mortified

Me:                  I figured you’d be thrilled that I was welcoming you

Andie:             it’s like 4th grade all over again

Me:                  awwww…you loved it

Andie:             you did it on purpose to embarrasses me

Me:                  would I do that?

Andie:             yes you would

Me:                  well, yes I did

Andie:             I hate you

Me:                  yeah, I missed you too!!!

Just thought I’d share with you this fine parenting moment.

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  1. Dylan Lin Calista
    July 31, 2012


    I never had much of a welcome. Actually, my parents rarely fetched me from the airport.

    But, the last time my Dad picked me up…I was probably 15-16. That was when I went on a 2 week vacation.

    That was the LAST. TIME. EVER. Because for some reason…(maybe I lost too much weight, I got too much sun burn and I went 100 shades darker)…Dad nearly went and hugged this other girl who was walking right in front of me. (We both had similar colored Adidas duffle bags…and he was gesturing to pick up her bags) He did NOT recognize me until I yelled : ‘DAD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

    And since then, I asked Mom to NEVER send him to fetch me on his own else’d have assault charges filed against him.
    Dylan Lin Calista recently posted..First Doctor’s Visit Post SurgeryMy Profile

  2. Mayor Gia
    July 31, 2012

    Hahahhaha that is AWESOME. I only wish you had taken a pic!!
    Mayor Gia recently posted..Ted: A Theater ExperienceMy Profile

  3. By Word of Mouth Musings
    July 31, 2012

    personally i think its the running shorts that put her over the edge ;)
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Outreach360, Release the hero within (post 1)My Profile

  4. Julie
    July 31, 2012

    Fabulous ~ better than the Olympics!

  5. Mom Off Meth
    July 31, 2012

    I love that story sooooo much. My daughter is 14 right now and is embarrassed about EVERYTHING I do. It is so easy. I find joy in skipping at the mall, singing at school and all kinds of things. She doesn’t understand that if she would just chill, it wouldn’t be so much fun for me.

    What does your daughter think about you blogging stories with her in it? My local paper will be doing a story about my blog tomorrow, and I KNOW that my daughter is going to FREAK. Do you have any tips on how to handle this??

  6. Jess
    July 31, 2012

    Oh, this is just MASTERFUL. Sending to my mom, who will laugh her ass off and wish she’d done the same to me (after all, her motto is that tormenting her children is one of the bonuses of being a mom).

  7. Mary Anne
    July 31, 2012

    it is our duty as parents to embarrass the craps out of our kids- ESPECIALLY when they are teens–I didn’t go thru 36 hours of labor and then a gnarly C Section for nothing….besides-they love to tell these stories later on……

  8. Jester Queen
    August 1, 2012

    I saw this yesterday, but my phone wasn’t at all comment-willing. So, let me just say, I laughed and snorted so hard I woke up our napping son, who did not see the humor at all. But my husband sure did.

  9. Jody Holt
    August 13, 2012

    Andie has really a good heart for taking care of the children on the programmed she joined. She spent very memorable time with the children on this program.
    Jody Holt recently posted..Mosquito Patch : The Natural Repellent for MosquitoesMy Profile

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