This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
In which i explain “Here’s what happened…”
I can’t write today. I’m all kinds of tense and I don’t really know why. Could it be that the first thing I was told this morning was
Kevin: “Lynn, even though you don’t actually DO the laundry don’t you think you could at least bring in the basket to our room and put the clothes away?”
Lynn: “Well, yes…I suppose that’s not an unreasonable request.”
Kevin: “…because for the last three days I have had to walk into the laundry room to pick out the clothes I was going to wear for the day…”
Lynn: “If you were walking to the laundry room to get your clothes, couldn’t you have just brought the basket in here on the way back?”
Kevin: “Jesus Christ!”
Lynn: “What? I’m just saying…”
Kevin: “I can’t believe you …what did you do all day yesterday?”
Lynn: “Oh I had big plans but I got way laid…”
Kevin: “by what?”
Lynn: “WELL, Here’s what happened …”
Kevin: “…oh spare me…I hate those three words”
And so I leave the bedroom and go into the kitchen where Daniel, age 17, is eating breakfast.
Lynn: “Daniel, I’m going to get your Corn Chex today!”
Daniel: “Really mom? Why don’t you just wait another two months?”
Lynn: “Oh Daniel, it’s not like you’re starving to death in this house?”
Daniel: “No, because you mistakenly bought a six month supply of mini wheats which I don’t like and the pantry is full of those”
Lynn: “And your point is?”
Daniel: “The point is I’ve been asking for Corn Chex for weeks now”
Lynn: “Well, I can explain that … here’s what happened…”
And that’s how it always goes in this household. I ALWAYS have a reasonable explanation for why nothing gets done. Or perhaps, nothing that OTHER people want to get done gets done. I always get done what I want to get done. For example, right this minute I should be at the gym working out…or at the very least putting away the laundry…or perhaps going to the grocery store and buying Corn Chex… and yet, here I am typing on my computer the latest ramblings of a very possibly insane woman.
I had meant to be writing about Andie as it’s her birthday next week and I was thinking about having an Andie week, just like I did for Keely. But unfortunately, I have no mental flow right now. I’m completely scatterbrained and ADD even though I have already ingested Ritalin which is supposed to keep my craziness at bay, and yet it’s not.
So, I thought I’d let you know how my day began. I am going to attempt to wrangle it back on track as it’s not even 9:00 and it’s a little early for even me to throw in the towel but if I don’t; if I can’t accomplish anything? I’m sure there’ll be a good explanation and it will definitely begin with “Here’s what happened…”
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“Here’s what happened …” … Can I borrow that?!?! Right now I’ve got nothing to say if something doesn’t get done. I’m not feeling wordy these days either. I blame the weather …
I’m good at excuses and that’s in the public domain now so sure, use it!
If you throw in the towel can you put it in the washer with detergent?
Hahaha…I can’t believe my family puts up with me…seriously.
I had to write. Replace laundry and corn chex with dishes and granola and the same conversation happened at my house this morning. Guess I’m off to the grocery store after the gym -and being on the computer :)
hahaha…thanks for reading Carmella…i’m commenting back because i just got back FROM the gym and now i’m on the computer.
Guess your son comes by his sarcasm honestly. lol.
adventuresinestrogen.blogspot.com
Hahaha..I have raised a household of sarcastic, cynical kids. Life fail I suppose
I thought your reply Kevin was perfectly appropriate. But they never appreciate perfectly appropriate comments, do they?
I completely agree that my response was logical. See? Men just don’t get it…
Sounds like its time for a drink!!!!!!!!!!
Always…
Looks like a page out of my diary, but with more words. And why don’t men get that whole “You were just there, why didn’t YOU do it.” ???
I know right? Of course, my husband does put up with an incredible amount of shit…but still…why didn’t he just bring it in?
Sent you something on my blog, will share a real one in real life soon ;)
Well, I’m off to check it out!
I totally understand. Every time I have a spare moment, it seems I end up on the computer and I really have nothing to show for it. Like now, for example…
Yeah, between the computer, blogging and Twitter…I don’t know where my day goes.
The fear that my family members will be wondering what the HELL I did all day haunts me. All the time.
It shouldn’t.
I should just KNOW I was busy and productive; that I prioritized what was most important and nobody starved on my watch and etc.
But instead, I think, “There was that moment when I sat on the couch and ate lunch even though it was only 11:30…I could have been doing laundry.”
And I hate thinking that. I deserve lunch, damnit. And if I’m hungry at 11:30 everyone else will just have to deal with it
So carry on, Lynn. As long as you get done what YOU needed to get done, all will be well…
And getting dressed from the laundry room is NOT a tragedy. You can quote me.
My attitude is that he knew what I was like a LONG time ago so whatever. He must agree because we never fight and we have been married almost 24 years. He said he married me because I make him laugh so to hell with the other shit!
You sound like me… this sounds like my life. Ritalin and all!
Yeah…I love people like me!!! We are the bomb!
Aw, this is the first post I read on this blog.
i’m so glad you found me Abby!
What is with men and their ability to look right at something that needs to be done and then just keep walking? It’s like how they throw the dirty clothes on the floor, right in front of the hamper. One day, I swear.
i know right? and somehow they expect me to do it. whatever
This.is.so.me! Thanks for sharing:)
Stopping by from Time Travel Tuesday. I stumbled, already followed and Google +1 you! My post is http://practicalfrugality.blogspot.com/2011/07/earn-it-learn-it-teach-your-child.html
thanks so much… i will check your stuff out too
that’s a much better phrase than my oft uttered “uh, I don’t know” although I do blame my lack of a clean home on the children…
not patented at all. Feel free to use it
Stopping from Time Travel Tuesday! Laundry isn’t my favorite either.
i hate laundry. hate it! wrote a post about it a long time ago
LOVE THIS POST! I totally need to borrow the phrase “Here’s What Happened…” You rock!
Hahahaha…thanks. Go-ahead