This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i explain “Here’s what happened…”

I can’t write today.  I’m all kinds of tense and I don’t really know why.  Could it be that the first thing I was told this morning was

Kevin:              “Lynn, even though you don’t actually DO the laundry don’t you think you could at least bring in the basket to our room and put the clothes away?” 

Lynn:               “Well, yes…I suppose that’s not an unreasonable request.”

Kevin:               “…because for the last three days I have had to walk into the laundry room to pick out the clothes I was going to wear for the day…”

Lynn:                “If you were walking to the laundry room to get your clothes, couldn’t you have just brought the basket in here on the way back?”

Kevin:               “Jesus Christ!”

Lynn:                “What? I’m just saying…”

Kevin:                “I can’t believe you …what did you do all day yesterday?”

Lynn:                “Oh I had big plans but I got way laid…”

Kevin:                “by what?”

Lynn:                 “WELL, Here’s what happened …”

Kevin:                “…oh spare me…I hate those three words”

And so I leave the bedroom and go into the kitchen where Daniel, age 17, is eating breakfast.

Lynn:                 “Daniel, I’m going to get your Corn Chex today!”

Daniel:                “Really mom?  Why don’t you just wait another two months?”

Lynn:                 “Oh Daniel, it’s not like you’re starving to death in this house?”

Daniel:                “No, because you mistakenly bought a six month supply of mini wheats which I don’t like and the pantry is full of those”

Lynn:                 “And your point is?”

Daniel:                “The point is I’ve been asking for Corn Chex for weeks now”

Lynn:                  “Well, I can explain that … here’s what happened…”

And that’s how it always goes in this household.  I ALWAYS have a reasonable explanation for why nothing gets done.  Or perhaps, nothing that OTHER people want to get done gets done.  I always get done what I want to get done.  For example, right this minute I should be at the gym working out…or at the very least putting away the laundry…or perhaps going to the grocery store and buying Corn Chex… and yet, here I am typing on my computer the latest ramblings of a very possibly insane woman.

I had meant to be writing about Andie as it’s her birthday next week and I was thinking about having an Andie week, just like I did for Keely.  But unfortunately, I have no mental flow right now.  I’m completely scatterbrained and ADD even though I have already ingested Ritalin which is supposed to keep my craziness at bay, and yet it’s not.

So, I thought I’d let you know how my day began.  I am going to attempt to wrangle it back on track as it’s not even 9:00 and it’s a little early for even me to throw in the towel but if I don’t; if I can’t accomplish anything?  I’m sure there’ll be a good explanation and it will definitely begin with “Here’s what happened…”

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34 Comments

  1. Samantha
    January 21, 2011

    “Here’s what happened …” … Can I borrow that?!?! Right now I’ve got nothing to say if something doesn’t get done. I’m not feeling wordy these days either. I blame the weather …

    • Lynn
      January 21, 2011

      I’m good at excuses and that’s in the public domain now so sure, use it!

  2. Duffylou
    January 21, 2011

    If you throw in the towel can you put it in the washer with detergent?

    • Lynn
      January 21, 2011

      Hahaha…I can’t believe my family puts up with me…seriously.

  3. Carmella Roehrig
    January 21, 2011

    I had to write. Replace laundry and corn chex with dishes and granola and the same conversation happened at my house this morning. Guess I’m off to the grocery store after the gym -and being on the computer :)

    • Lynn
      January 21, 2011

      hahaha…thanks for reading Carmella…i’m commenting back because i just got back FROM the gym and now i’m on the computer.

  4. Lady Estrogen
    January 21, 2011

    Guess your son comes by his sarcasm honestly. lol.

    adventuresinestrogen.blogspot.com

    • Lynn
      January 21, 2011

      Hahaha..I have raised a household of sarcastic, cynical kids. Life fail I suppose

  5. Kathy
    January 21, 2011

    I thought your reply Kevin was perfectly appropriate. But they never appreciate perfectly appropriate comments, do they?

    • Lynn
      January 21, 2011

      I completely agree that my response was logical. See? Men just don’t get it…

  6. Name *
    January 21, 2011

    Sounds like its time for a drink!!!!!!!!!!

    • Lynn
      January 21, 2011

      Always…

  7. Mad Woman behind the Blog
    January 21, 2011

    Looks like a page out of my diary, but with more words. And why don’t men get that whole “You were just there, why didn’t YOU do it.” ???

    • Lynn
      January 22, 2011

      I know right? Of course, my husband does put up with an incredible amount of shit…but still…why didn’t he just bring it in?

  8. Everyone Knows Me Here
    January 22, 2011

    Sent you something on my blog, will share a real one in real life soon ;)

    • Lynn
      January 22, 2011

      Well, I’m off to check it out!

  9. I totally understand. Every time I have a spare moment, it seems I end up on the computer and I really have nothing to show for it. Like now, for example…

    • Lynn
      January 22, 2011

      Yeah, between the computer, blogging and Twitter…I don’t know where my day goes.

  10. julie
    January 23, 2011

    The fear that my family members will be wondering what the HELL I did all day haunts me. All the time.

    It shouldn’t.

    I should just KNOW I was busy and productive; that I prioritized what was most important and nobody starved on my watch and etc.

    But instead, I think, “There was that moment when I sat on the couch and ate lunch even though it was only 11:30…I could have been doing laundry.”

    And I hate thinking that. I deserve lunch, damnit. And if I’m hungry at 11:30 everyone else will just have to deal with it

    So carry on, Lynn. As long as you get done what YOU needed to get done, all will be well…
    And getting dressed from the laundry room is NOT a tragedy. You can quote me.

    • Lynn
      January 23, 2011

      My attitude is that he knew what I was like a LONG time ago so whatever. He must agree because we never fight and we have been married almost 24 years. He said he married me because I make him laugh so to hell with the other shit!

  11. Stacey
    January 23, 2011

    You sound like me… this sounds like my life. Ritalin and all!

    • Lynn
      January 23, 2011

      Yeah…I love people like me!!! We are the bomb!

  12. Abby
    April 10, 2011

    Aw, this is the first post I read on this blog.

    • Lynn
      April 10, 2011

      i’m so glad you found me Abby!

  13. Julie @ mamamash
    July 12, 2011

    What is with men and their ability to look right at something that needs to be done and then just keep walking? It’s like how they throw the dirty clothes on the floor, right in front of the hamper. One day, I swear.

    • Lynn
      July 12, 2011

      i know right? and somehow they expect me to do it. whatever

  14. Karen
    July 12, 2011

    This.is.so.me! Thanks for sharing:)
    Stopping by from Time Travel Tuesday. I stumbled, already followed and Google +1 you! My post is http://practicalfrugality.blogspot.com/2011/07/earn-it-learn-it-teach-your-child.html

    • Lynn
      July 12, 2011

      thanks so much… i will check your stuff out too

  15. Not a Perfect Mom
    July 12, 2011

    that’s a much better phrase than my oft uttered “uh, I don’t know” although I do blame my lack of a clean home on the children…

    • Lynn
      July 12, 2011

      not patented at all. Feel free to use it

  16. JDaniel4's Mom
    July 12, 2011

    Stopping from Time Travel Tuesday! Laundry isn’t my favorite either.

    • Lynn
      July 12, 2011

      i hate laundry. hate it! wrote a post about it a long time ago

  17. Annie @ Maximum Chaos
    July 12, 2011

    LOVE THIS POST! I totally need to borrow the phrase “Here’s What Happened…” You rock!

    • Lynn
      July 12, 2011

      Hahahaha…thanks. Go-ahead

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