This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i explain what a MILF is

 

The picture above was the topics that were “trending” on Mother’s Day.  I took a picture of them because I figured that I would eventually write about the screenshot.  Why would I write about this particular screenshot?  Because MILFs was trending and it totally cracked me up.

 

I know some of you are sadly saying to yourself, “what’s a MILF?”  The reason I know that is because it was once my goal to be a MILF and I spent copious amounts of time explaining this goal to other “Mothers” when we were stuck together in the bleachers watching sports and it was shocking to me how many of the moms not only didn’t have this goal but they didn’t even know what a MILF was.  Of course, once I did explain the goal it was actually shocking to them but that’s an entirely different conversation now isn’t it?

 

So, without further ado I’d like to rectify that.  A MILF is “A Mother I’d Like to Fuck.”  Yep, you read that correctly.  It is essentially a mom who still looks good enough that the younger boys want to “Fuck Her.”  I mean, I didn’t want to actually screw my kid’s friends (yuck) but I felt it was a worthwhile goal to look good enough that you’d be in that category, you know?

 

When you’re younger, you kind of take being attractive for granted but as you get older, it sure is a struggle to look young and decent.  I spend absolutely no time at all on getting dressed up and putting on makeup but I do spend some time on my skin at night therefore, it’s always pretty awesome when I’m mistaken for someone younger.

 

As the girls got older and older, I realized that I too was getting older and older.  After seeing the video for the song “Stacy’s Mom” and learning all about being a MILF I thought “FINALLY, a worthy goal.”  Now what’s the point of having a completely ludicrous goal if you can’t let people know you’re working towards that goal?

 

No, not people as in my kids friends but people as in MY OWN FRIENDS.  So I started explaining what a MILF was to my friends and then telling them that I felt some of them were probably MILFs already.  This was one of my favorite topics to discuss with other women because it honestly made them incredibly uncomfortable.  Shallow as I am, making people have conversational heart attacks is all in a days work for me.

 

I never did find out if I succeeded in my goal and now I’m actually past the point of both being a MILF and giving a shit about being a MILF but when I saw the topic trending, I knew I had to explain it.  After all, there’s still time for plenty of you out there to make it your goal as well.

 

I’m just saying …

 

 

 

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

38 Comments

  1. Eric is Fargo234
    August 18, 2011

    This found me just yesterday, it seems to apply.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmMmuf5p0W4

    I happen to know a MILF! She’s my wife, so there’s that.
    Eric is Fargo234 recently posted..Don’t Worry, Be Happy!My Profile

  2. Lynn
    August 18, 2011

    Good for you!!! Does she know?
    Lynn recently posted..In which i explain what a MILF isMy Profile

    • Eric is Fargo234
      August 18, 2011

      Yes! She’s an awesome MILF! I’ve never heard of a DILF, but I’m pretty sure I’d qualify. At least, if I were a woman, or gay, I’d totally do me.
      Eric is Fargo234 recently posted..Don’t Worry, Be Happy!My Profile

  3. Lady Estrogen
    August 18, 2011

    You? Shocking a group of ladies? NEVER.

    I don’t give a shit about being one, but hey, if someone actually considers “this” MILF worthy, I’ll be flattered and well, surprised. I’m barely a WILF at my house. HAHAHAHA. Just kidding. Kinda.
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..GUY: The Book.My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      hahaha…i’m sure you’re “MILF worthy”. Those were the days…back in the bleachers

  4. liz
    August 18, 2011

    Only you would work to achieve this goal! Oh Lynn, reading your posts is like sitting and hearing them in person…just without the hand motions to go with.

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      that’s funny that you said that but my husband said i use my hands a LOT. I never notice. hmmmm…too funny

      I miss those days in the bleachers :(

      Thanks for commenting Liz

  5. Monty
    August 18, 2011

    Is there an equivalent term for Dads? A DILF, sounds too close to DORK I suppose. Not that I am one, just wondering.

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      No idea! Not that i’m aware of…but there are guys like that i’m sure

  6. By Word of Mouth Musings
    August 18, 2011

    Oh sweet filterless friend ….
    Yes, I looked this up one night a few years back and came across a ‘show’ called ‘MILFHunters’, some very skanky men, picking up even skankier women, having their way and recording it …
    nastiness at its best.
    But i did learn stuff ;)

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      that’s what i’m here for…to educate you. hahaha..you know i love you right?

  7. Amy
    August 18, 2011

    Confession time, years ago when I found out that a certain son’s friends considered me a milf, it changed my life. Seriously. Every now and then I pull it out of the recesses of my brain and let it make me smile.

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      See? That’s so awesome!!!

  8. Jackie
    August 18, 2011

    I knew what it was. And it’s a goal that my sister has…. she’s not doing so well with it though! LOL! We won’t tell her that.

    I don’t need to be MILF but I would like to at least get noticed. I can live with that and.. not as much work.

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      Bummer to fail but oh well

  9. Life with Kaishon
    August 18, 2011

    Oh my goodness. I had no idea.
    I am not one that is for sure.

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      You never know…you might be!!

  10. Julie
    August 18, 2011

    “making people have conversational heart attacks is all in a days work for me” is now not only my goal for today ~ but also a new mantra. I love it!!!

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      Glad I could be of help

  11. Liz
    August 18, 2011

    Funny when I was pregnant with twins 4 years ago I wanted to name one of the girls “Stacy” because of that song…my hubs didnt go for it! The other 2 girls we have are Samantha and Sydney so I was just going with the “S” theme still didnt go for it!

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      ahhh…you could have been Stacy’s mom..too bad

  12. Kristin @ What She Said
    August 18, 2011

    Aspiring to be a MILF is a TOTALLY worthy goal! And not at all ludicrous. I confess that I aspire to it, too.

    Then again, I can be a bit self-deluded.
    Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..The Day My Brain ExplodedMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      i know…let somebody else have the goal of saving the world, right?

  13. joeinvegas
    August 18, 2011

    I hope you keep succeeding in that goal. Your kids college friends don’t come over just for the pie (but that’s probably pretty good too)

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      Pretty sure it’s the pool and the bonus room…not me! Hahaha

  14. Twinisms
    August 18, 2011

    I like the idea of being a MILF, especially as it pertains to how other mom’s see me. It seems like a lot of work though so I’ll just stick with being the least gross mom. All that requires is wearing (mostly) clean clothes in public.

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      I wear gym shorts and t’s all the time. You don’t have to dress up to be a MILF. It’s an attitude. Well, i think it is at least. HMMMMM..maybe that’s where i went wrong.

  15. Casey Freeland
    August 21, 2011

    I’m going to guess you had “fuck” in there more times than any other blog post. Just a guess. My wife is an absolute MILF. I need to tell her this.

    Cheers,

    Casey

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      Did i? i better go look and see…glad you’re wife is a MILF…what’s her next goal?

  16. Michele
    August 23, 2011

    I doubt I’d ever be referred to as a MILF, HOWEVER, my husband thinks I’m yummy. I’m not sure that what a husband thinks qualifies in this thread but there you have it.

    On a side note: I am however “The Kool-Aid House”, “The Cool Mom”, the “don’t mess with my kids or I’ll F-you-Up” and the school districts worst nightmare when it comes to getting our kids what they need to help them learn.

    Yeah, I know, I know….how boring and un-MILF-like. But, I am what I am.

    • Lynn
      August 23, 2011

      Excellent…I’m all about being the Koolaidmom

  17. Dorothy
    August 25, 2011

    Ok I have to comment on this and probably more since I just found your blog tonight. I love your honesty which is how I roll too.
    Anyhow, when you explained what MILF was, at first I thought you meant a girl crush. Like my daughter and I say, “oh I’d do her!” when we see some woman we find attractive. Ok, so you didn’t mean that! I was probably one of those MILF for my son’s friends when he was a teen. I had no clue and didn’t find out until years later that they used to call me his “hot mom”. He would get so mad at them LOL! I dined out on that for years when I found out. I would pull it out when I felt blah, oh yeah hot mom (nods).
    Now I am a gramma and over that stuff lol. It doesn’t matter, I like me now even if someone else doesn’t. By the way, I was the “mean mom”, according to my kids. Now I’m the mean gramma, gotta keep up the reputation you know. My friends and I started a Mean Old Mom (MOM) club which now has a subsidiary MOG (mean old gramma), open for new members anytime!

    Glad I found you, more fun reading for me!
    Dorothy recently posted..ComparisonsMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      Hee! You found it tonight and it was the MILF post? Hahaha. Too funny

      Glad to have you. I’m mean too..but funny (in my opinion) isn’t it nice not having to worry about that crap anymore?

  18. Dorothy
    August 26, 2011

    Holy crap, am I naive!! I forgot where you were and didn’t bookmark your site…….so I googled MILF. Not a good thing to do LOL LOL. O-M-G I don’t go surfing for porn but woooheeee I found the “mother lode”!! LMAO! I’m so gonna sue you if I get inundated with porn messages now lol.
    Ok, so this was the first post I responded to but I read a bunch more fully intending to answer later. So there!
    And I’m mean because I actually had boundaries and guidelines and let the kids figure out how to handle stuff instead of making life all sweet and easy for them. I actually said NO sometimes. Now I have independent smart kids who are capable of taking care of themselves and not sucking the life out of me like some of my (ex) friends’ kids. Besides, it was way too much work for me to try and make their life perfect! Lazy? Perhaps. :D I like to call it smart….

    • Lynn
      August 26, 2011

      oh, you sound like my kind of gal so good for you!!! we will def be friends. and let me know if you get any interesting porn. My life could use some spicing up!

  19. Dorothy
    August 27, 2011

    I told my daughter (31) about this episode and she about died laughing…at me. Now she plans to tell her brother (29) about my google escapade. Sheesh. How was I to know you didn’t make that up?? Or your friends? Porn is soooo not on my to-do list! LOL!! Now my kids are laughing at me, thanks to you. I may never google again……
    On the good side, no pop ups or messages infected my computer, so I don’t have to sue you now and we can still be friends! You’re welcome.
    Dorothy recently posted..I did it!My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 27, 2011

      That was so funny…I just read your comment to my husband. I did not male MILF up but I can imagine what popped up. Sooooo funny! Thank god you’re MOT suing me although I can visualize the court case!!

      Now you know how to get to the blog right? Friends sounds good!!!

Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest
Enter your Email

Recent articles


Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest




Go to All Fooked Up Store 

Lynn MacDonald Art