This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i fixed it


(written last week … whatever)

Today I fixed a problem at 9:30 AM therefore I think I can retire and count this day as a win. Here’s what happened.


You know how you go into public restrooms and they have those huge toilet paper rolls, the kind that is about 1 foot in diameter?  I mean you have to know about those types of toilet paper, don’t you ever pee?  At any rate, every once in a while you go into a restroom and the toilet paper is all kinds of fucked up.


In this case, when I started pulling the TP (Short for toilet paper ok?) the strip I was pulling was only about an inch wide.  Seriously, out of the approximately 5” width of TP I was getting a 1” side segment.  I decided to investigate how long this had been going on and the thickness of the “unpulled” section was about ¼”.


That means that for at least a day a bunch of people were using a 1” wide section therefore they had to pull for a long time.  Now people, this is the type of thing that incenses me (along with many other things as you know) so I decided that I, Lynn MacDonald, would rectify the situation.


By the way, it really wasn’t a “public” restroom; it was the one at my Pilates Studio that I go to.  Anyway, I decided to fix it and started trying to tear away the ¼” thick piece that was about 4” wide (not an exact measurement) and it wouldn’t budge.  I kept at it and finally, I managed to rip that portion in half.


Now all I had to do was clear away all the other toilet paper and things would be back to normal.  Of course, now it was all messed up in there but I persevered and eventually I got rid of all the old stuff, which I threw in the garbage.  After all, I didn’t want to be responsible for clogging up the toilet.


Next I pulled a piece of TP forward and the entire roll moved as one unit!  I was a true hero.  I finished my business (which is none of yours) and walked out and told Amanda, the owner, “you’re welcome.”


Of course, she inquired why and I explained that I had successfully fixed her TP roll and now her studio was good to go and I was considering this day a great success already.


She laughed and told me that she always used the other bathroom (she has two) because that one flushes so slowly (it’s true…quite the hassle) but she thanked me profusely and then proceeded to kick my ass in the Pilates Class that was soon to start.


So people, if you’re one of those people who pull just a shard and fuck up the entire roll, you need to realize that I can’t be everywhere at once to fix it and you might consider fixing it yourself.


You’re welcome!

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  1. Ribena Tina @ Ribena Musings
    October 24, 2013

    It incenses me how companies use the chepest toilet paper; surely it is a false economy as we then need to use more of it? Or maybe it is just me. Probably.

    Or the public loos that have the square toilet paper that you can only pull out one sheet at a time – who uses one sheet at a time?

    LOL, rant over……
    Ribena Tina @ Ribena Musings recently posted..Not black and will know when I see itMy Profile

    • Lynn
      October 24, 2013

      Hahaha…thanks for the rant.

  2. Dee Williamson
    October 24, 2013

    I guess I have reached hero status after all! I’ve done this a couple of times too. Hee-hee! Love your blog. Following in 5-4-3-2…

    • Lynn
      October 24, 2013

      Thanks….I’m sure we all have dealt with this

  3. Marilynn
    October 24, 2013

    I want to know why these big tp dispensers are mounted so LOW on the stall wall that you can’t reach the tp without getting off the pot. I mentioned it once to the manager of a store. Who mounts these things? That’s what pisses me off.

  4. Lynn
    October 24, 2013

    That’s something I’ve never pondered. Hmmmmm

  5. Shawna Lewis
    November 3, 2013

    You are a true American hero.

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