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In which i get scolded … often

Do you get scolded a lot? Because I get scolded a LOT.  My husband scolds me, Keely scolds me, Andie scolds me and even Daniel occasionally scolds me.  My friends scold me and I’m sure if Tucker and Butterscotch could speak they’d scold me to.  They definitely scold me with their eyes.

 

At any rate, I get scolded quite often. I mean I get it. I’m constantly screwing things up and I’m constantly blurting out things that are either inappropriate or supposed to be a secret.

 

When people say this to me “can you keep a secret?” I’m always like “of course I can” and then I scoff at the thought of divulging it.  And I never divulge it because I want to tell somebody something juicy; it always comes out by accident. (I’m sure Freud would say there are no accidents but FUCK YOU Freud)

 

I’ll just be having a conversation and I’ll be all like “oh yeah, that reminds me …” or “that’s exactly what happened to so and so …” so I always blunder into these situations and then find myself trying to extricate myself.

 

The other day someone pointed out to me that I was always cleaning up messes and I must be damn good at damage control.  In fact, I’m an expert.  Not only am I good at cleaning up messes but also I can spin them in such a way that they’re very funny stories.  Of course, the funny ones are only the stories where I can clean up my messes.  Some of my major fuck ups can’t be laughed away but for the most part, they can.

 

So, back to the scolding.  I know I’m going to be scolded today already so since 7:15 this morning I’ve been dreading it.  I’ve mostly cleaned up the mess but of course, the moment when the other person finds out about it will be the moment I get the call.

 

Sometimes it’s so difficult being me.

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4 Comments

  1. Mom Off Meth
    September 17, 2012

    Oh, I can so relate to this one. I am getting better at it, but I still get scolded a lot. Always too loud, always too much. that is my middle name. Well…it is Lea, but you get my point. Thanks for sharing.

    • Lynn
      September 17, 2012

      i’m always digging myself out of trouble

  2. Mizfrizzy
    September 17, 2012

    It’s a momentary relief when I get to the last stages of “cleaning up the mess”
    Then reality punches me in the teeth and I feel my shoulders start to droop… I know by experience that they’ll be another mess in 3, 2, 1….

    I’m really starting to think we were separated at birth. hahaha

    • Lynn
      September 17, 2012

      poor you then…if you’re like me

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