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In which i give the United States Government free advice

Dear United States Government:

 

Today is September 15th and to many of us here in the States, it’s also the day we pay quarterly estimated taxes.  That’s what I want to address.  You see? I have decided that this is a complete and total waste of time.  Most people only have to pay taxes once and year and paying it four times a year is incredibly inefficient. It wastes my time, my energy and it used to waste paper although now I do it electronically.

 

Don’t you think that this is perhaps a racket that was invented by accountants and other miscellaneous government employees?

 

And speaking of taxes, I have a brilliant idea.  Now, while I don’t like paying taxes (who does) I do think that they are a necessary component of living in a free land however, I really don’t think that you guys do a very efficient job of either spending or managing my (and basically everybody’s) money.

 

Therefore, free of charge, I have decided to share my fantastic idea.  Each year my college asks me to contribute money to their annual fund.  I rarely do but bear with me here.  When they ask me for the money, they also give me the opportunity to earmark the money to the school of my choice.

 

For example, I could give to the Johns Hopkins School of Engineering (from whence I graduated) or the School of Arts & Sciences.  I could even give to the School of Public Health or the Med School if I so chose (I don’t). The point is they give ME the opportunity to CHOOSE where I want MY money to go.

 

Now, wouldn’t it be great if we citizens could do that?  That way if you didn’t believe in war you could give to the incredibly inefficient Department of Education or if you believed in road construction (which I would totally overhaul by the way) you could give to the Department of transportation.  You see?  Pure Genius!

 

I personally, would like to send my well-earned tax dollars to the White House Vegetable garden.  You see, when you grow vegetables then you have a tangible result, something you guys rarely manage.  If the US government started growing all it’s own vegetables for it’s own employees, people would be much healthier and we’d save a bunch of money on food.  Then you could quit subsidizing all that crap.

 

Brilliant right??  While we’re on this train of thought, have you considered turning the white house lawn into a wildflower pasture?  It’d still be very pretty when we looked through the fence but the maintenance costs would be greatly reduced.  I know this to be a fact because I also have some lawn service people come in and they charge an arm and a leg to mow the lawn but my wildflower area is self-sustaining.

 

Perhaps you should just ask the people of the US to contribute some thoughtful ideas on becoming a more efficient streamlined organization.  However, whatever you do NEVER ask the road construction guys.  I could get out on a road with a teaspoon and a trowel and pave a road faster than they do.

 

You can thank me later but consider this advice a freebie.

 

Yours truly,

 

Lynn MacDonald

 

(yes people…I am aware that this is actually the 14th but the 15th is Saturday and I don’t post on Saturday’s)

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6 Comments

  1. Mayor Gia
    September 14, 2012

    Hahah I work for a nonprofit, and earmarking stiiiinks when it comes to donations. I mean any funding is great, but when people or foundations restrict it, they tend to only restrict it to the popular things. No one wants to cover admin costs, but we NEED a finance department, fund raising team, it equipment, etc etc. It’s so hard to get general operating support now! /endrant
    Mayor Gia recently posted..#*&!$! Halloween CandyMy Profile

    • Lynn
      September 14, 2012

      So you don’t like my idea then??

  2. Jester Queen
    September 14, 2012

    As much as I hate to say it, earmarking funds would be hilarious fun until an unpopular (but necessary cause) stopped getting funded. I’d prefer it if they just stopped buying overpriced hammers myself :)

    • Lynn
      September 14, 2012

      Agreed…but think if the fresh vegetables

  3. Dee
    September 14, 2012

    I love your idea but we’re too divided to follow through on it. Plus all types of fanatics will use this as a way to drive out programs that even though they disagree with, we need. I do love the vegetable and wildflower ideas though.

  4. Great idea, although theoretically, that’s exactly what we do when we vote for our representatives in government. I say ‘theoretically’ for obvious reasons, not the least of which are the potholes I hit every time I drive anywhere and the moronic (and getting more so every year it seems) kids I see running around my local Wal Mart. On a more positive not, we do have the world’s coolest unnecessary and unused new jet fighter.
    Daniel McBane – Funny Travel Stories recently posted..What a Crappy Children’s Book!My Profile

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