This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i gleaned info at the gym

This post was written last week so it’s outdated but I don’t think that really matters do you?  Who cares what you think; this is my blog.  Adjust your mentality accordingly.

 

 

I seem to do my workouts all over the place.  Sometimes I Spin at one gym or do Pilates at another gym but when I’m on my own I go to “The Club” which is just a fancy name for “the gym formally known as Sporttime”.  I like going there because it’s larger, they have more equipment, the people-watching is better and last, and in my case certainly least they have tons of TV’s.  Now normally, I never watch the TV’s because I read on my iPad while listening to the shuffle I have set up on iTunes.  I start EVERY single work out with Cee Lo’s “Fuck You” and then the shuffle begins.  Then I begin reading, usually fan fiction.

 

But today, I was looking up and I noticed that lots of stuff was going by on the 5 television sets within my line of sight.  I decided, since I had just downloaded Pages, the Word Processing App, that I would spend my hour watching the multiple TV’s and seeing what I could learn.  Now remember, I had no sound so unless the TV had captioning turned on, I could only draw my conclusions from reading the captions.  So, without further ado, here’s what I learned today at the gym!

 

 

Happy birthday bull market!  It’s been 2 years since stocks hit the bottom (courtesy of CNN)  Well that’s pretty awesome…of course we’re in the housing industry personally so this little fact is excellent but really doesn’t do shit for me.  I promise that if I shove some money into the stock market it will promptly crash.  I’m all awesome like that.

 

 

Apparently Proactive literally goes into your pores and kills all the poison and then closes up your zit…now remember I was listening to Cee Lo tell me to “fuck you and fuck her too” so I’m not sure why but I saw the graphics so it MUST be true.

 

The seven day forecast is that it will rain the next two days but the minute I leave for LA it will be sunny and 70… It figures

 

 

College basketball is heating up on March Madness on ESPN.  Ok, I’m actually pretty psyched about this because I live in the hotbed of college basketball, North Carolina, and THIS IS WHAT WE DO.  Also, I love my NCAA pool because I love picking random teams based on a total lack of basketball knowledge and then watching my pool kick ass.  My entire house participates and so this is a big deal. 

 

Obama is going to speak at 10:50 about bullying and how to prevent it.  Seriously, doesn’t this guy have bigger issues to deal with?  Or maybe this is about Gadhafi who seems kind of like a gigantic bully to me; with a bad complexion to boot…and those outfits? Don’t even get me started.  His kids seem somewhat psychotic as well but who am I to judge?

 

They’re cooking on front of me on CBS on the early show; Katie Lee’s vegetarian recipes.  Actually, that didn’t look very yummy at all.

 

Millions of fish may have died from lack of oxygen.  Will they can all those sardines?  Nobody has answered this pivotal question and it’s really bugging me.  However, I see some binge eating Sea Gulls out there in California so that’s an issue.

 

Now OH unions are protesting bargaining limits in the new bill.  Gee, unions don’t like having stuff taken away from them.

 

There’s a flood watch in Western NC and I’m always trying to figure out which county is my county on the maps.  I hate that…they never label the maps and I only know we have some sort of right angle with the county next to us.  One day I’ll be killed by a tornado and they’ll find me in front of the TV saying peering at it trying to figure out if I’m going to die next. There are tornado watches and warnings across the south so today could be that day!

 

Andy Griffith is on at 10 on CBS…really? REALLY?  This show is still on? … and Aunt Bee has a bee in her bonnet!  Well, I don’t know why but she looks kinda pissed to me.

 

Now the early show is reaching me how to dress, apparently in black pants; just add a bangle bracelet and now I can go out on the town.  Well, it’s all about owning CORE pieces.  Now I know how to dress when I’m not in gym attire, thank god.

 

OMG!  Wheel of Fortune is in at 7:30 tonight!  Is that shit still on?  But where is Vanna?  Why is that game still on, you barely win any money at all?

 

Suicide bombing in Pakistan at a funeral which is pretty efficient since people are already in mourning; not to mention, probably already near a graveyard.  IS that in poor taste?

 

There’s an all new Ellen today on NBC.  Why, do they do reruns?  I don’t watch daytime TV so I seriously have no idea.

  

What? Survivor is still on?  Good god, how did I not know this? 

 

There was a basketball coach who was coaching his final game so the opposing team set it up for him to take a three-pointer in the final seconds.  He hit it!  Well, that’s a feel good story.

 

A soccer player in Europe got a Red card for tackling a streaker who was running across the pitch!  Hahaha that’s just ridiculous!  Excessive violence.

 

ESPN is discussing the Ohio State Football coach on “how serious the situation with this cheating thing is?”  It must be serious, they were talking about it while Daniel was eating breakfast and they’re still talking about it.  Either that or it’s a slow sports news day.  I can’t be sure…I spend a LOT of time tuning out ESPN.

 

 

Romance is fizzling faster than it used to (courtesy of CNN)

 

Piers Morgan, who seems to suck, is interviewing Kid Rock tomorrow night.  This falls into the “I don’t give a shit” category for me.

 

Well, there you have it.  These are the things I learned today while working out; or kind of learned as I was spending much time typing while pedaling while listening to my music.  At any rate, you now know as much as I do about the world at large…or at least the world at large within my view.  There were other TV’s but I just couldn’t see them.

 

You can thank me later…

 

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16 Comments

  1. Pamela D. Hart
    March 21, 2011

    What’s totally amazing…you didn’t even need volume OR closed caption to catch up on all current events! Thanks for the update, now I don’t have to watch any news channels, they suck, IMO. And how old is Vanna, anyway? Can she still spin those letters with arthritis?
    Pamela D. Hart recently posted..Meet Me On Monday 1My Profile

    • Lynn
      March 21, 2011

      Hahaha…it’s amazing…i did read some closed captioning on some of the TV’s…occasionally. Actually, working out and typing and watching TV is a lot to do at one time!

  2. Queen Mahin
    March 21, 2011

    Ok, Lynn. I’m losing my innocence reading your blog. I really, seriously thought Cee Lo’s song was “Forget You”. Didn’t realize that was just the radio edit!

    Also, we’re TV-free, so thanks for the updates. Kind of a public service. Did not know Wheel of Fortune was still on. Although I did catch a viral video a while back of the woman who guessed “Self Potato”. Poor thing.
    Queen Mahin recently posted..Coffee Table of FunMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 21, 2011

      Hahaha…that’s hilarious. TV free? OMG! The TV is always on in our house…mostly turned to sports though. Good for you not watching that crap. I was looking around and i thought, WHAT THE HELL, this could be a post!

  3. Theresa Sonoda
    March 21, 2011

    Well I just grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. I’m good. Thanks for the updates. Too bad you can’t do my work out for me. That would be awesome.
    Fun story!

    • Lynn
      March 21, 2011

      Well, I actually did work out already so feel free to count that as your workout as well

  4. Lady Estrogen
    March 21, 2011

    Don’t get my started on ProActiv. Did you ever see my artwork? I worked hard on it.
    Pizza Face with Extra Bitch

    • Lynn
      March 21, 2011

      Hahaha….I’m going to check it out. It was sort of a rambling post I suppose

  5. GutsyWriter
    March 21, 2011

    Did you take notes? I am impressed with how much information you got through images and captions. No wonder we’re going crazy with so much stuff going on. I usually sit on the reclining bike at my gym, downstairs, where I can’t see the TV, however, all the people I know walk past me and we chit chat. All I need is my coffee, and I’ll set to chat.

    • Lynn
      March 21, 2011

      I usually read my iPad and did indeed take notes on my iPad while doing the recumbent bike. I don’t usually chat unless i like the person next to me.

  6. karen
    March 21, 2011

    Haha! I used to go to that gym back when it was Sportime, I loved it. I pay no attention to daytime tv whatsoever either. Vanna’s still on…ugh she’s gotta be over the hill, she’s not the hottie she used to be. About the vegetarian meals on the Early Show, how many vegetarian meals do look appetizing anyway?? LOL

    • Lynn
      March 21, 2011

      It was funny seeing all the different tv’s and actually hard to keep up with everything. I don’t watch much daytime TV so I really can’t comment on what’s on or not!

  7. The Flying Chalupa
    March 22, 2011

    Here’s what I know: there’s a lot of crap on TV that has been on the air for far too long. However, I’m impressed that you were typing, pedaling and watching at the same time. Now that’s a workout.

    • Lynn
      March 22, 2011

      That one statement is all you need to know. There’s a lot of crap on TV.

      I was doing all three but I pedaled for an hour and got nowhere. So really, whats the point!

  8. Name *
    March 23, 2011

    Just ran across your blog. Thanks for the post Gave me a chuckle. I can barley chew gum and walk let alone try to read run and watch the tv.

    • Lynn
      March 23, 2011

      Thanks…I’m glad you enjoyed it. Hope you come back again!

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