This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Are you guys tired of hearing about all my woes? I’m certainly tired of having said woes and I’m a bit tired of bitching about them too.
Last Friday, I gave up and called one of my doctor pals and told him my back was messed up and he proscribed muscle relaxers and painkillers. I haven’t had muscle relaxers since I was in college and we called them Quaalude’s. I don’t know if they do that stuff anymore.
So I took the muscle relaxer on Friday and it didn’t really do much for the backache but it sure did make me sleepy. I was also told NOT to work out all weekend so I decided to spend the entire weekend feeling sorry for myself. After all, if I don’t who will right?
The timing couldn’t be much worse since I just got back from the spa and I had lost 5 pounds and I was hoping to lose more. I just kind of wanted NOT to fall apart. I succeeded partially.
The next night I was dying and I took the pain pills and they certainly worked. On Sunday evening I called Dan (doctor pal) and he said he’d try to fit me in. I was starting to worry that it wasn’t a muscle and that I’d actually hurt myself. You see, my mom had all sorts of back problems and hopefully shit like that isn’t genetic.
I went in and they did an x-ray and it was good news/bad news. The good news was that it wasn’t my spine and it was a muscle pull albeit a bad one. The bad news is that my spine is a mess and has osteoporosis and I need to go to the osteoporosis clinic.
I’m so fucking bummed because I asked to be put on hormones and my OBGYN said no and now I’m basically melting. My bones are like a wax candle and I think between them and my muscles I’ll soon look like a Hershey’s kiss that was kept in the sunlight.
Then they gave me a cortisone shot. It’s not that the shot hurt a lot, just a little actually, but I immediately began to feel nauseous and faint.
So I told the PA that I needed to lie down. I did lie down for a bit and got up and went to schedule my “Osteoporosis Clinic” appointment and I started feeling shitty, really shitty. I told the lad that I was maybe going to faint so I was going to sit down. I sat for a minute and made the appointment and then I knew I was going to die so I laid down on a bench for a bit.
I’m pretty sure everyone in the room was staring at me but I was trying not to completely pass out. Eventually I went into the bathroom and put a cold paper towel compress on my head and walked out. Bet I looked really silly.
I called Kevin from the car and told him that the Vagus Nerve thing is getting worse and worse.
Thank goodness that I always feel it coming on and I’m not one of those people who just blacks out. This has happened so many times now and I’m kind of over it.
Anyways, so last night I was really sore but I did sleep a bit better and this morning I went and did recumbent bike for a bit (they said I could) so hopefully I’ll get back on the diet and get going.
I can’t spin or do Pilates or anything hard for 5 more days so I have to say that this pulled muscle has been a colossal pain in the ass, or should I say back.
Argghh…hold on. I just had to yell at my compulsive dog Tucker who was once again licking his foot. It’s been infected three times but it’s not like that means anything to him.
So the point is that I might live and go on to happier and funnier days. That’s good right guys???