This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i had random thoughts of the day

 

Once upon a time Andie and I had a conversation about how much I liked to sit around and bullshit about random and stupid stuff, especially with all the young people who were constantly hanging out at our house.  I was explaining that I liked to talk about this stuff with young, but SMART people.

 

That then segued into how awesome it would be if I could teach a course of at school called “Random thoughts of the day” and wouldn’t that be fun.  I then pointed out that I thought it should be an AP course so that I only got “bright” kids in it.  I was pretty psyched about being the teacher of “AP Random Thoughts of the Day” but alas, it never came to be.  Probably because by the next day I hated everyone and thought “why the hell would I want something that I HAD to do everyday?”

 

Nonetheless, I have continued having random thoughts each and every day and just thought that I would write out some of the thoughts I had this morning and share them with you.

 

I feel pretty shitty

I probably shouldn’t drink 4 vodka and tonics at one party

Especially if someone makes me do two vodka shots on top of that

Cake vodka no less

What the hell is cake vodka?

It certainly smelled like cake though

Which is interesting because Keely’s hair products ALSO smell like cake

And yet, they’re called milkshake

Which is stupid since they clearly smell like cake

Also, parties are pretty fun

Why don’t we socialize more?

Maybe I should make more of an effort to see people

Hmmm…that’s an idea but …

Then I’d have to be nice more often

I’m not sure I can do that

How can I be nice for four months this summer to Keely?

Clearly this will be a problem?

She probably has low expectations anyways

But…she will be on crutches for all those months

I’ll have to be nice … damn

I told her we’d just lie out by the pool all summer

She said she couldn’t get in the water with her crutches

I told her we’d get a hoist

She was not amused

Why are my kids never amused with me?

What the hell is wrong with my kids?

Hmmm…maybe it’s not them, its me

Nah…no way

I told her we’d get Sherpa’s to carry her around?

She asked what Sherpa’s were?

What the hell is wrong with that kid?

What was I just thinking of?

Oh yeah, Keely and this summer

What is wrong with this document?

Why is the format different from yesterday?

Why does my computer always fuck with me?

Why is life so perplexing?

Where is my coffee?

Oh yeah, in the kitchen.

I gotta go get it

So I’m calling it a day on this post.

So there you are.  That’s what spending 5 minutes with me is like.

Hope you enjoyed it.  If not, fuck you and don’t read this blog.

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13 Comments

  1. Vapid Vixen
    December 20, 2011

    Oh wow. Just, wow. Another 5 minutes of upsetting brilliance. But really…everyone should know what a Sherpa is. Especially in the winter when it gets snowy and cold and the hike up those stairs to your office building seem insurmountable. And really…if not, fuck you. This made me happy.

    • Lynn
      December 20, 2011

      I aim to please! Well, not really

  2. Jennifer Boykin
    December 20, 2011

    I loved this one. And what the hell is wrong with our kids that they don’t know what a “Sherpa” is? All that bullshit ‘no child left behind’ crap. I don’t think it’s working.

    You’re adorable. And I’m not going away, no matter how many times you say “fuck you” to me!

    Merry Christmas, love! Jennifer

    • Lynn
      December 20, 2011

      thanks…you too

  3. Julie
    December 20, 2011

    Just curious … after Keely has her surgery, have you looked into renting a scooter? NOT the one you see on TV for the fat, lazy old people. This is something you can rent at a madical supply store. I rented one after all three of my surgery’s ~ made getrting around SO much easier than crutches. Just a random thought I’m having …

    • Lynn
      December 20, 2011

      well, it certainly doesn’t work in our house…

  4. Melanie
    December 20, 2011

    Ahh, so you too suffer from what I call tangential runaway thoughts or “monkey brain.” I will be talking to my boyfriend and I’ll be like, “I think I’ll make us grilled cheese for dinner. I would make carnitas grilled cheese but you don’t eat meat. I was vegetarian for seven years but then I wanted bacon. Good lord I love bacon. Pigs are so cute. I wonder if I could get away with having a pig. Ooh chickens are legal here now I should get some chickens. Then I’d have fresh eggs. Maybe I’ll make us egg salad sandwiches for dinner.” At least it sometimes goes full circle like that. Most of the time by the time I’m done I have to ask him, “I’m sorry, what were we originally talking about?

    • Lynn
      December 20, 2011

      yeah…i’m all over the place

  5. Pamela D Hart
    December 20, 2011

    When you say “fuck you” I think it means “love you”, so I keep coming back!

    Forget your kids, I think you’re funny and I appreciate you! Either that or I’m desperate for friends so I just keep stalking you.

    Either way, who cares…you make me laugh. And I want to return the favor, check your “in box”.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Meet Me On Monday ~ 5 Fives About Me!My Profile

    • Lynn
      December 20, 2011

      ok, i will..just got home

  6. Kyla
    December 20, 2011

    Try the Whip Cream vodka. Nummy.

    ps. I love your bull shit.

    • Lynn
      December 20, 2011

      thank you…

  7. Faith.The Blond.
    December 20, 2011

    pppppttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and neener neeener neener.

    *nods head and walks away*

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