This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i have a sore spot … and win the Nobel Prize

So I have a sore spot on the roof of my mouth.  Aren’t things in your mouth irritating?  I mean, the minute you have a sore spot in your mouth, your compulsive little tongue takes over and won’t stop messing with it.  Now I’m not sure about you, but on a normal day I assume that my tongue is just hanging out in my mouth in a neutral position but the minute something goes wrong, whether it’s a tooth, or I accidentally bite a huge chunk out of my cheek (don’t you hate that?) or in this case, a sore spot on the roof of my mouth, my tongue won’t settle the hell down.

So anyways, this sore spot is way in the back near those two little holes that people have on the roof of their mouth. Or at least I assume you people have those two holes, I mean I have them and I’m pretty sure I have the standard human being equipment.  So this is what I was wondering…do you know what those two holes are because I’m pretty sure they’re the drain holes from the nose.  And that made me wonder…

Why the hell would I want my nose draining into my mouth anyways?  Whose idea was that?  If I had shit draining from my nose, wouldn’t the last place I’d like it to go would be down my throat?  I mean seriously!  No, I’m serious. Why there?  Now obviously, when I (or anyone else for that matter) get a stuffed nose, I try to blow my nose and get rid of all the snot but at night, I get a back drip because someone fucked up in the design process of the human body and said let’s send that nasty stuff straight down the nose through the mouth and throat into the stomach.

Food for thought?  LITERALLY!  Which leads me to suggest a better idea.  A spigot!  That’s right, there should be some sort of on/off spigot that you can turn that shit off and it doesn’t go down your throat.  I mean, I’m tired of back drips.  I’m 51 and I’ve had more than my fair share and I think that if the stuff would just stop draining down my throat, then it wouldn’t get sore.  It’s just a thought and I haven’t quite worked out the details yet but just the other day, Kevin had a sore throat due to a back drip.  I’m thinking Nobel Prize for Science with this idea.

But anyways, back to my sore spot.  I don’t actually have a back drip but I do have a sore spot near those two holes on the roof of my mouth.  I can only assume that there was some sort of power struggle over what could possibly be allowed to enter my mouth via my nose and the roof of my mouth lost.  This must have all happened while I was sleeping, which by the way, wasn’t very restful because I was having all sorts of bad dreams last night.

At any rate, this rambling post has absolutely no point except I have a sore spot which my tongue is compulsively messing it with MAKING IT SORER and I think I’ve come up with a solution that will solve mankind’s back drip issue and possibly bring me to the attention of the Nobel Laureate committee.  And who said having a blog couldn’t change the world.

Just saying…

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

19 Comments

  1. myevil3yearold
    February 24, 2011

    Your a genius!

    Ok, I know that I have the two holes because i get back drip but I can’t feel them? Can you? Maybe I’m just weird.

    • Lynn
      February 24, 2011

      hahaha…i know. Who thinks of these things? i mean, i do of course but i have way too much time on my hands now. They’re way in the back if you’re looking for them. Kind of like little dents in the roof of your mouth.

  2. By Word of Mouth Musings
    February 24, 2011

    You are truly a nut, in a good way :)

    • Lynn
      February 24, 2011

      Hahaha..don’t you ever think about that stuff too?

  3. Carla E. Knight
    February 24, 2011

    Well, they are obviously there for a reason. When I was 16 my oldest brother broke my nose for me. Apparently, I was born with a deviated septum and he thought it would be a good time to deviate it some more. By the time I was in my mid-20’s, I was losing my hearing. Why? Because the deviation in my nose was not allowing proper back drip as you so aptly named it, and all that crap was backing up my Eustachian tubes in my ears instead of down my throat. So I had nose surgery, and my hearing cleared up. Now my ears are screwed up in a totatlly different way, which makes me dizzy and keeps my stomach in an uproar. Apparently everything inside is connected to everything else inside and one little screw up will affect a hundred other things.

  4. Lynn
    February 24, 2011

    hmmm…so you’re saying No Nobel Prize then…i’ll figure it out

    • Carla E. Knight
      February 24, 2011

      Nah, you can have the Nobel Prize. The spigot is a great idea. Just think it through a little further, because that shit has to go somewhere.

  5. World Spinner
    February 24, 2011

    In which i have a sore spot … and win the Nobel Prize | Humor ……

    Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……

    • Lynn
      February 24, 2011

      Really? What are the odds! I’m pretty sure i called this subject first! Just saying

  6. 30ish Mama
    February 24, 2011

    I wish I knew about blogging, and especially THIS blog a lot sooner! You are so much fun, and so very accurate!

    • Lynn
      February 24, 2011

      hey thanks. I actually haven’t been around all that long so you really haven’t missed that much. I’m so glad you found me and that you comment cuz that’s the only way i get to know anybody! Keep on coming back. Thanks,

      Lynn

  7. Casey Freeland
    February 24, 2011

    I have no holes.

    • Lynn
      February 24, 2011

      Sure you do! Theyre up there near the back…unless you’ve already figured it out and stolen the Nobel Prize from me.

      • Casey Freeland
        February 25, 2011

        Well in 43 years I’ve never come across them. And I am extremely orally fixated.

        • Lynn
          February 25, 2011

          They’re way at the back on the roof of your mouth

          • Casey Freeland
            February 25, 2011

            Nope. I googled around and it looks like some folks have them and some folks don’t.

            • Lynn
              February 25, 2011

              really? well, that’s just plain weird

  8. Kirsty
    May 24, 2011

    I have these holes, and all my life I thought that they were normal and everyone has these holes, only the other day I found out that not hardly anyone has these holes. I get a constant back drip. I’ve tried to research this, and have got nowhere, no one knows what they are and the real reason some have them and some doesn’t. In my circle of friends I have never seen anyone else with these holes

    • Lynn
      May 24, 2011

      that’s so funny…when this first came out some people said they didn’t have the holes and i didn’t understand that. now i do

Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest
Enter your Email

Recent articles


Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest




Go to All Fooked Up Store 

Lynn MacDonald Art