This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i have no point

Last night when I was, in theory, attempting to sleep I wrote the most awesome blog post in my head.  I knew that the SMART THING would be to get up and write it down since I obviously wasn’t sleeping anyways but I didn’t and now I’ve forgotten it.  Suffice it to say that it was funny, VERY FUNNY!

 

At any rate, as I was thinking of stuff to do today I realized that I only have two more days around here to get my shit together before I leave for California.  It’s amazing!  I’ve had this trip planned for a long time but I actually haven’t PLANNED anything at all.  I’m leaving my family and two pets behind and you would think that I wouldn’t need to worry about any details around here but that’s simply not the case.

 

You see my husband, Kevin, has a job.  Yeah it’s true; he has to earn a living.   How else do you think that I could just gallivant around the place all the time?  That leaves two kids at home to deal with the stuff but Andie is shadowing doctors all day and Daniel is actually doing two things so the fact remains that NOBODY is actually around to walk my dog in the daytime; so I need to arrange that.

 

The plants? Forget about it.  Andie almost managed to kill them when I was gone for 4 days to Vermont so I can’t even imagine almost two weeks.  After all, it’s about a billion degrees around here so they’ll probably just spontaneously combust anyways.

 

So I suppose I should put a little thought into those two things.  Food?  Well, I barely keep food around here anyways so you know what, they’re on their own.  As I pointed out to Daniel last week, I’m pretty much over this mothering thing.  Sorry bud, you got the “dregs of motherhood.”  It’s like motherhood is a can of soda and all that’s left is backwash for the poor kid.

 

After all, I have my BLOG NOW!  No time for kids anymore.  (hahaha, I’m kidding … sorta)  Actually, this coming weekend Daniel and I will be “bonding” down in Wilmington, NC while we melt at a lacrosse tournament.  I was bitching and moaning about this when Daniel pointed out that he would have a full uniform and pads on.  Of course, I then pointed out that we WOULDN’T EVEN BE GOING if he wasn’t playing lacrosse.   Yeah, I always win these verbal spars.  I don’t even know why people bother trying to best me.

 

So, back to the point.  Oh wait!  I NEVER had one.  The point is that I need to spend today and Monday getting my shit together for several different things.  One, of course, is making sure shit is ok around here.  Two is making sure I have my sculpture tools, attire and pictures ready for my course.  Three, is making sure I have the Los Angeles portion of my trip covered and Four is getting my shit together for BlogHer.  I’ve done EXACTLY NONE of this so far so I have to kick it into overdrive.

 

Speaking of which, I better go.  I don’t even know why I’m wasting my time talking to you guys.  See ya.

 

 

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13 Comments

  1. Lady Estrogen
    July 25, 2011

    You? Getting your shit together?
    I’ll believe it when I see it.
    x

    • Lynn
      July 25, 2011

      hahaha…i HAVE TO! I’m leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks to 3 places and i’m fucking around on the computer and haven’t done shit.

      I did take my son to a lacrosse tournament this weekend so hey, i was totally in MOM mode

  2. gramps
    July 25, 2011

    All my life I was the very opposite of you.
    Now that I’m retired, I don’t give a shit any more. Love it

    • Lynn
      July 25, 2011

      isn’t is a feeling of freedom not worrying about all the bullshit?

  3. magikladee
    July 25, 2011

    Here’s a tip I learned in college: after you accomplish each task on your to-do list, reward yourself with a shot of vodka. There is no way this can’t work.

    • Lynn
      July 25, 2011

      Hahaha…never heard of this method. Good thinking

  4. liz
    July 25, 2011

    Dude, you don’t want to miss your needlepoint seminar. Or body waxing. Or whatever thing you are flying across the country to learn about.

    • Lynn
      July 25, 2011

      Hahaha…marble sculpture course…maybe it’s a waxing

  5. RCB
    July 25, 2011

    You’ll manage, Lynn. I don’t know HOW, but you will. And while you’re at it, you will think of the most wonderful blogs you’ve ever written… again. Believe me. Then again, you could get yourself a dictaphone. That way you will not only be able to listen to your wonderful ideas, but you will also hear your impressive voice, and you can listen to it again and again….

    :)

    P.S. That was some serious sucking up, which I vowed I would never do. Anyway, next week I’ll have to get back to work again and there will be many new students trying to successfully suck up to me in order to get a good grade. As undoubtedly many admired suck up to you… any tips for my new victims?
    http://rcbenglishclass.blogspot.com/2011/07/art-of-sucking-up.html

    • Lynn
      July 25, 2011

      You crack me up. What do u teach and where?

  6. Kristen
    July 25, 2011

    I always think of the funniest shit like that as I’m falling asleep. It never fails.

    Have fun in California!

    • Lynn
      July 25, 2011

      thanks…hopefully it’ll be awesome

  7. Name *
    July 25, 2011

    You are going to have the best time – you will have forgotten something important like the charger to your laptop or your toothbrush but there’s a walgreens right down the corner from wherever you will be and I’m sure you’ll make do with or without swearing involved..

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