This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i have peace and quiet again

 

It’s 9:50 AM and I’m in my house and it’s completely peaceful and quiet (well, except for the dog that won’t stop licking his ass. What’s up with that?).  That’s because EVERYONE has gone back to school and/or work.  It’s not that I don’t love my family, I do, but I really like to be alone in my house and after a while, I just want them gone.

 

I suppose it’s good that Thanksgiving comes before Christmas because it’s a little insight on what it’s like to have all three kids around the house.  Trust me, it’s not pretty.  Keely seems to collapse on the couch upon arrival and when she went to leave on Sunday, I was surprised that it wasn’t permanently attached to her ass.

 

Daniel just either kills people on Xbox or watches sports so the TV is on ALL THE TIME and Andie; actually Andie spent a fair amount of time up in her room studying so forget her for the meantime.  My house looked like a nuclear device had gone off in it with shoes, coats, workout bags and pocketbooks everywhere.  Now I’m not normally completely anal retentive but after many months with just Kevin, Daniel and I, the mess was completely unacceptable.

 

My ENTIRE kitchen island was covered with stuff and it took forever just to clean it up to cook Thanksgiving stuffing and turkey.  Even though when I built this house I put in BOTH cubbies for each child as well as numerous hooks for coats and bags at the entrance from the garage, for some reason that shit just piles up in my living spaces.

 

It drives me up the fucking wall.  I can’t stand clutter and I’m not the type of person who collects shit.  I like clean surfaces.  Even when the kids were younger and were producing tons of art projects, I had a system.  I had 3 ways of keeping things.  I had a large portfolio for each kid for large paintings.  I had a file box for each kid for schoolwork and I had a box for collectables.  Anything else was thrown out.

 

I’m always amazed when I see they type of shit people keep around.  I remember a friend of mine moving and she had a life size rabbit that her child had made in kindergarten. They traced themselves and then made it.  Daniel had one too but I tossed that baby; no room for life size rabbits in my system!

 

And the laundry!! Both girls came home with dirty laundry.  Of course, they brought NO clean clothes with them so they asked me to do it first thing.  Ironically, I don’t actually do the laundry around here (SEE THIS POST) so to do laundry for them was irritating.  I did it, but I did as poor a job as possible and basically I don’t know why I even bothered folding it.

 

However, now they’re all gone and the house is put back together again for just the three of us.  Daniel is the neatest of my kids so it’s really quite easy to keep the place together.  I’m also thrilled that Daniel SHAVED as he was doing the No Shave November thing and he looked like a homeless terrorist.

 

Well, this isn’t a very interesting post.  I’ll be curious to see if I post it.  I really need to chill because the bad news is that in just 2 weeks, Duke will be out on winter break and then the girls will be back.  And back for 3 weeks no less.

 

Gee, when I look at this post it seems like I don’t even love them.  I DO! Just in moderation however.  Ok, I’m going to go paint and chill.

 

See ya!

 

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22 Comments

  1. Jeanine
    December 5, 2011

    I love the picture. It looks like my house except add 3 more dogs on the couch. I hate clutter as well. I throw everything away. I constantly have Windex in one hand and a paper towel in the other. I vacuum at midnight. I TRY! But the place always looks like a hell hole. You would think with 2 girls things wouldn’t be so grim. But you have to add in the husband and the dogs. I am with you in that I love to be home ALONE. My girls are 13 and 10, so I am not yet at a place where I can relax a lot. My younger one has special needs, too. That makes things more complicated. I am sorry to bore you with the specifics of my life. I will stop rambling. But I am happy I found your blog and I really liked the picture!
    Jeanine recently posted..DINNER WITH THE KINGS!My Profile

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      thanks for commenting and welcome to my world! Yeah, i really like things orderly so this drives me nuts…

  2. Katja Brown
    December 5, 2011

    Yes, the living room definitely looks like a herd of teenagers came through …

    Did you forget to post the laundry link?

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      i did forget Katja but thanks to you, i just put it in!

  3. By Word of Mouth Musings
    December 5, 2011

    Remember me, your anal ocd friend? and yet still in our last move it required a 53 ft truck and one for overflow!
    You love your kids … yes, you do … you just need to beat them more to have them clean up after themselves ;)

    so efficient today i have two posts up – one on each side … of course someone else wrote one of them …
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Holiday Card Photography by Nicolette, author of Working on a ProjectMy Profile

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      well, i have given up…it was so much easier when they were younger…TRUST ME

  4. Troynoboy
    December 5, 2011

    “Both girls came home with dirty laundry. Of course, they brought NO clean clothes with them so they asked me to do it first thing” REALLY???? and you DID IT???? Momma, momma, momma – we need to talk…

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      it’s amazing right? i mean, i hardly do anything for them but yeah, i did that

  5. Julie
    December 5, 2011

    After years of listening to the Mister bitch about clutter on the kitchen counter ~ it was a joyous day when he took the job in Reno and the child said to me, “Wow mom, it’s true. Dad IS the slob. Since he started the new job the house is really clean and organized.”
    He’s a sloppy, can’t throw a single piece of mail away so I’ll just pile it up over here asshole, but we love him.

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      my girls are worse than my son and my husband. it’s so much better when it’s just the 3 of us

  6. Ryan (The Woven Moments)
    December 5, 2011

    If doing laundry = love, then I’m screwed.

    Also? My dog is an ass licker. What is UP with that!?!?

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      Oh…I don’t do laundry around here except when forced. I don’t know why dogs lick their ass….must Google that

  7. Lori
    December 5, 2011

    Love your blog. I can totally relate to the clutter/not a collector thing. Clear surfaces make me happy-clutter makes me nuts!

    On the dog ass licking thing…just asked my friend about it the other day because over Thanksgiving my sister-in-law’s dog was going to town licking his butt like crazy. My friend said it was something about anal glands that gets inflamed and bother the dog. She said the vet could “express them” or it would happen on it’s own…sounds gross.

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      it is gross…i hate when i go to the vets and they said “oh, we expressed his anal glands”. Really? did i NEED to know that…i just think my dog is crazy.
      and thanks for reading AND commenting…

      • Jenna Ochoa
        December 6, 2011

        Love your blog – found it via The Bloggess. I laughed SO hard at your comment above!!! Some things should just stay between the vet and the patient! My cats sure don’t wanna hear about what the gynecologist did to me at my annual, ya know?!?!?

        • Lynn
          December 6, 2011

          That’s a valid point although I suppose a cat MIGHT be interested about the OBGYN…after all, they’re both about the pussy right??? OMG that’s so crass…must kill myself now

          Thanks for finding me

          • Jenna Ochoa
            December 6, 2011

            Bahahahahahaha! I didn’t think about it that way!

            • Lynn
              December 6, 2011

              See? I’m here to help

  8. Pamela D Hart
    December 5, 2011

    I’m an “organized pack rat” because I can’t tolerate clutter. Everything I want to “save” is stored away in my garage.

    I can’t stand anything on my kitchen counter, only my coffee maker! My kids know better than to leave things lying around. They have the game room ALL to themselves and their friends, but after “play time” and their friends leave, they have to clean it up.

    As far as you loving your family—anyone who has read your blog long enough KNOWS you ADORE them!
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Trimming Away The YearsMy Profile

    • Lynn
      December 5, 2011

      Wow…sounds like you’re kids are MUCH better trained them mine. The problem is that everybody does their work in the kitchen so there’s all that crap. Their game room is messy but I don’t care about that.

      I do love them…sorta…kinda…occasionally

  9. Robin
    December 9, 2011

    As if the blog itself wasn’t funny enough, the comments following had me rolling on the floor laughing! Thanks!

    • Lynn
      December 9, 2011

      Thank you!!! How are ya doing??? Yeah, the commenters are always funny

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