This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i inherit a windfall

Today was a stellar day in my life.  Why you might ask?  Because today I just received word that I inherited Thirty million, One hundred thousand dollars by being in the Codicil AND Last Will and Testament to some guys will.  Some guy I’ve never met before by the way.  Here’s the email I got:

 

 

Lynn MacDonald

BARRISTERS’ CHAMBERS :

Andreaw Fraser & Associates

Fax:+  44 203 004 2365

Address: 33 Bedford Row London Wc1r 4Jh England.

 

 

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Juriaan Kugger. I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter were returned undelivered.

 

I wish to notify you that late Engr. Juriaan Kugger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30, 100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL.

 

This may sound strange and unbelievable to you, (nah, this doesn’t sound strange or unbelievable to me…this kind of shit happens daily to most people that I know) but it is real and true. Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good. (Wait a minute, although I didn’t even know the man he wished me good?  That’s fucking awesome!)

 

Engr. Juriaan Kugger until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavour to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. (Well Andreaw, consider yourself endeavoured as I’m all over sending you back an email; ESPECIALLY since Juriaan was in the Helicopter Society)

 

You are advice to contact me with my personal email : andreawfraserassociate@nba2k.com.cn

 

I await your prompt response.

 

Yours in Service,

 

BARRISTER ANDREAW FRASER ESQ.

PRINCIPAL PARTNERS: Barrister Aidan Walsh Esq. Mr. Markus

Wolfgang, Barrister John Marvey Esq. Barrister Jerry Smith Esq.

 

Now, because I was so busy dealing with my various other inheritances when I received the first notice of this letter, I simply assumed it was spam and didn’t pursue this.  However this time, even though chasing down miscellaneous inheritances is perfectly standard for me, I realized that this wasn’t just 30 million dollars; it was 30 million and 100,000 dollars.  You see, long ago I decided that I simply had to draw the line somewhere and coincidentally that line was at 30 million dollars but this one was OVER that so I decided that perhaps Andreaw (yeah, the guy doesn’t even spell his own name right) should hear from me.

SO, I quickly sent off an email to him which said something to the effect of:

 

Thanks for you email.  I can’t wait to hear more details about this.  Please let me know.

 

Not even two hours later I heard from Andreaw again and I want to share my bounty with you, my trusty readers.  (Note: Kevin doesn’t think any of this is a good idea and is worried that Andreaw is sucking my computer dry but I know better than to open any attachment and seriously, can an email harm you?)

 

 

We want to acknowledge the receipt of your email in this chamber and also want you to know that you have absolute right to reject this WILL as much as you have the right to accept it as well. If you wish to turn it down then let me know so I can send you a WILL rejection form to fill and revert back to this office. (Ok, I admit it…I’m a little confused here.  Why do I have to fill out a form to reject an inheritance that I never intended to respond to anyways.  This isn’t how all my other SPAM inheritances have worked.  Maybe this one is real!) I am not going to impose it on you but just doing my job here.

 

I cant imagine that the late Engr. Juriaan Kugger must have known that you will put the money to good use for the less privileged of which he was aware that you can achieve , that is why he selected you. (OK, I get it now.  THAT’S WHY HE SELECTED ME.  I WILL PUT THE MONEY TO GOOD USE FOR THE LESS PRIVILEGED and he is aware that I can achieve!) Also,i want you to understand that I don’t know you neither have I met you before, (He neither knows me nor has he met me…I don’t know him either by the way) but my contacting you is based on the recommendation of late Engr. Juriaan Kugger.

 

Be further informed that these funds will not be released to you without some proper identification. I have never met you before like I said and to be able to carry out our duties effectively as sole executors of the WILL of late Engr. Juriaan Kugger, We must be convinced that you are who the testament says you are.

 

And please re-confirm to us through the above stated fax or via email, your full contact details to include your full name, address, telephone, fax number (if any) with a copy of your IDENTITY send via email attachment to my office and if you have moved to a new address then indicate both the new and old one for my verification with what I have in my file. Any difference or discrepancies in the information provided by you will mean that I am contacting the wrong person and I will stop all communication with you out rightly.  (OK…so now he wants information.  WOW…what would a spammer do with information?  He actually hasn’t asked for anything that isn’t public record here so I’m kinda in a quandary.  I would love to write back to Andreaw, if for no reason than his name is stupid, but I really don’t want to become involved in International Money Laundering.  But 30 million dollars + 100,000 = give me a second here!)

 

Your information would be taken to the probate division of the International Court of Justice for verification… (hahaha…ellipses in an International Letter and this guy is a Barrister) After the confirmation, the probate division would now release your letter of administration for claims to these bequest/funds. This document as well as the Certificate of Deposit will ne (and typos) issued by the Deposit Bank to Engr. Juriaan Kugger when the funds were deposited by him and the Bank will then be released said funds to you , this will give you the legal backing of receiving these funds.

 

We sincerely hope that the above requirement will be sent to us sooner or later for us to proceed with the documentation. And note that we cannot send any document to you until we are fully convinced that we have the true beneficiary. (Duly noted) And note that we have period of (14) working days to conclude this so that i can move on to the next beneficiary on the WILL of my late client.  (a double Duly noted)

 

Note: We are not demanding any money of form of payment from you for your services, we have been fully paid by my late client and all we need is for you to comply with our directives to make sure your funds are fully transferred.

 

Find attach copy of my identity card.

 

(I didn’t open the attachment…I’m not that dumb and this computer is only 24 hours old)

 

I await your prompt response .

 

Yours in services ,

 

So there you are!  This guy is a Barrister and since I watch Law & Order:UK, I know that they go to court in wigs and sound all awesome and shit.  So, I’m pretty psyched for my money and when I receive it I’ll be sure to throw a huge party with everybody who reads my blog to be invited.  Perhaps I’ll even invite Andreaw to the party!

I just sent Andreaw my response and I’m really looking forward to hearing from him.  Here it is below:

 

Well Andreaw,

 

I’m really looking forward to my 30 million one hundred thousand dollars and would appreciate it being sent to my home address in boxes.  It is as follows:

 

Lynn MacDonald

c/o Box 8936

Greensboro, NC   27499

 

I have no fax machine as I just got a new printer but you can certainly keep emailing me at this email address.  I do have a picture ID but I’m afraid that there are some nasty people in this world so I won’t be able to share them with you until my lawyer (that’s a barrister in America here) checks you out to make sure you’re all Kosher and stuff.

 

I look forward to meeting you and my future inheritance.

 

Thanks for contacting me with this bounty,

 

Lynn MacDonald

 

 

So there you are!  I just wanted to keep you up to date with how I’m doing in claiming my inheritance.  I’ll be sure to invite you to the awesome Internet party that ill surely throw when I receive it.  Meanwhile, stay tuned and perhaps I’ll discuss some of my other inheritances that are in progress.

 

 

 

 

 

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

17 Comments

  1. Queen Mahin
    April 14, 2011

    Out of all the people in the world, Engr.Juriaan Kugger, picked you…. Lucky!

    • Lynn
      April 14, 2011

      I know, what are the odds?

  2. Pamela D Hart
    April 14, 2011

    Lynn, there’s a bunch of people dropping dead across the ocean, because the Federal Minister of Finance of Nigeria just contacted me and I was to receive $7.5 United States dollars only. The ONLY pissed me off, so I rejected it. But since you’re SO gracious, and gonna share yours, I don’t feel so bad now! And next time one of these assholes asks for my identity, I’m gonna send them a pic of Minni Mouse.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..They Found Me!My Profile

    • Lynn
      April 14, 2011

      Hahahaha…yeah, I’ll share mine…no prob!

  3. How would Andreaw even know what an “official U.S. I.D. even looked like? I think you should slap something together and e-mail it as an ATTACHMENT – see if HE opens it.

    • Lynn
      April 14, 2011

      That’s a great idea! Maybe I’ll try that!

  4. Jackie
    April 14, 2011

    You are all shades of awesome! I can’t wait to see what his response is!!

    Oh.. and when you get the money I’ll make sure to clear my calendar to attend your party.

  5. Jessica
    April 14, 2011

    If you really do get millions of dollars don’t forget about me.

    Sadly, people fall for these scams all the time.

    • Lynn
      April 14, 2011

      Which is so hard to imagine! How could anyone take this seriously?

  6. Theresa Sonoda
    April 14, 2011

    When you get your money, can I have a Red Corvette? I always wanted one, and the only way I’ll ever get one is if one of my online friends inherits $30 million and $100,000. I’m soooooo excited!

    • Lynn
      April 14, 2011

      that’s so odd…that’s the EXACT amount that i will be inheriting…minus taxes of course. Sure, one Red Corvette coming up!

  7. handflapping
    April 14, 2011

    Will there be tasty beverages at this party? If so, please accept this as my RSVP.

    • Lynn
      April 14, 2011

      Of course! When my ship comes in, it’ll be first class

  8. tulpen
    April 15, 2011

    I’ve gotten a few of these emails too. And all this time I thought it was some scam to steal my identity (which at times I admit I am quite willing to give up).

    Can’t wait to hear how you blow your fortune!!

    ;)

    • Lynn
      April 15, 2011

      Well, for some reason he didn’t respond yet after i mentioned my lawyer…which seems kind of strange to me

  9. Tina
    April 21, 2011

    Me too – we must all be millionaires with the all the money people keep leaving us. (I actually thought they might be money launderers.)

    • Lynn
      April 21, 2011

      hahaha…pretty sure their goal is to eventually get your info…didn’t get that far though

Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest
Enter your Email

Recent articles


Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest




Go to All Fooked Up Store 

Lynn MacDonald Art