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In which i just stepped in puke

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Just walked in my house from Spinning and stepped in cat puke.  Last week Kevin walked into the house and stepped in pee from Tucker.  What the fuck is going on?


It seems as if my cat is bulimic.  She doesn’t eat much but sometimes she gobbles up her meal and then, inevitably, she pukes it up.  Now normally I found these little gifts upstairs where her food is kept.  I keep it upstairs because if it’s downstairs then Tucker will eat her food.  After all, Tucker is certainly willing to eat her cat poop so you can imagine how much yummier the food is going on rather then coming out.


So I find these gifts and I clean them up but today she puked right in the hallway from the garage so I stepped on it.  How did I not see it? She literally puked right around the corner so I couldn’t see it.  Clever huh?


It’s bad enough that my house has constant balls of cat fluff everywhere and now this? I can’t even figure out how she has so much hair left on her considering that she spends her life shedding.  She’s like a Rastafarian and I constantly have to cut knots out of her because she has NO IDEA how to groom.


Then, after Tucker peed on the floor 3 times in a row, it was discovered that he had a bladder infection.  I guess we should just be thankful that he didn’t pee on my dining room rug.  We don’t owe this thanks to Tucker though; we owe it to ourselves.  After one too many shits and pees on the rug we have permanently rolled the rug up until he dies (or I die … whichever comes first.)


You see, he has a tumor, which was supposedly killing him but apparently, at the slowest pace possible.  When we thought he was on his last legs (as if), he was down to 24 pounds (from 37) so we let him eat all the time figuring he should go down happy.  But then, they gave him some meds and he started feeling better.  He had hyperthyroidism so we needed to feed him and now he barks at us ALL THE FUCKING TIME.


Seriously, the dog eats ALL DAMN DAY and even with that he’s just 28 pounds.  So when we want to have a quiet meal, as he barks at us if we go into the kitchen, we have to give him a Greenie and put him in the office (which we refer to as prison.)


So I have this puking, shedding, knotty cat and this dying, barking, deranged dog and my only consolation is that the fish don’t ask for much except for some reason, their water seems to evaporate more rapidly then I would have thought.


So, there’s my day and those are my pets.  Shit, having kids was easier.

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  1. Millie Noe
    November 22, 2013

    Ha! I like your story and I can see that we have some things in common. Grown kids, deranged, puking, pets and websites. Good luck to you.

    • Lynn
      November 25, 2013

      why thank you

  2. ribenatina@ ribena musings
    November 24, 2013

    My dogs eats twice as much as he should; not cos he is dying (sorry by the way) but because he is a cross-breed freak that has legs as long as a giraffes and a tiny body at the top of it and what of the girlie fluffs was sick constantly because she ate faster than her stomach could keep up. I found a bowl with rounded nodules in the middle of it forcing her to eat around them for her food which has slowed her down…to the extent that the baba fluff gets fed up of waiting and finishes it off for her.

    • Lynn
      November 25, 2013

      hahaha…sounds like a crazy looking dog

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