This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
In which i kill them all
It’s impressive, even for me. Normally I end up killing all my outdoor planters sometime in July but I just went outside and the ones on my back porch are already mostly dead and its only June 21st. I think my little jaunt up to Washington might have had something to do with it.
Every year I plant flowers and make everything look beautiful and bright and I water it all on a daily basis. Eventually, usually well into July, I realize that things aren’t looking so great and that watering every day has somehow morphed into every other day and that I’m pretty much over all this watering shit. It’s not like I have a hose set up in a convenient location although I’m sure I could manage that if I put my mind to it.
By July, we’re usually into our “drought” season so I have to water even the planters that aren’t covered by any porches so this requires buckets and buckets of water, which actually equals about 5 trips. Now, the truth of the matter is that this only takes about 10 minutes but its so damn hot out there that I just usually let things go and by the end of July I have brown, dead planters.
This year I started my planters earlier than usual due to the fact that I was having a party for the United Way at my house in May. I guess I should just revel in the fact that for that ONE night, the porches did indeed look awesome.
So, now I have a choice. Try and rejuvenate them so they can live another day or just realize that once again, I have prematurely killed the beauty that surrounds me. What do you guys think I should do?
It was all too much for me to consider so I put the pitcher in the sink and came here and started writing. Avoidance is something I AM rather good at.
I’m just saying …
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To defend my title as your resource buddy, I came up with the following link about the best ways to keep those plants watered with the least amount of work: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/la/gardening/best-self-watering-solutions-for-container-gardens-054291
hahaha…thank you. I don’t know what i would have done without a link from you!
I have two strategies when buying plants:
1. I only buy the hardiest of the hardy. They have to *really* want to live to make it at my house, and
2. I shop the sale section at Lowe’s where they are half-dead already and they only cost $1-2. That way if (WHEN) they die, I’m only out a couple of dollars.
I didn’t follow these strategies and bought a cilantro plant this spring at the farmer’s market (for THREE dollars) and that sucker is dead. It was beautiful and healthy when I bought it; I read about it when I got home and learned that is is a somewhat fussy little plant. I have no time for fussiness in my plants. I ended up overdoing something to it, not sure what, and it shriveled up so I stuck it in a corner and ignored it and it came back! THEN it noticed that I noticed it had rebounded and it promptly died. So fuck it. Stupid plant.
I can tell I’m going to really enjoy your comments. Each one is a funny little story. Fucking plants. So work intensive
I’m a better commenter than a blogger. I think it is b/c a comment for me is like a response to a writing prompt…like you have said “here’s a tawpic – discuss amongst yourselves.” And then I’m off. Usually about halfway through my comment I think, “Oh, this would have made a good post.” Oh well. :)
I get that. It’s all about the inspiration. I always think of great blog posts and then forget them
I think you need to buy plastic plants.
probably..the others are awesome until they die
Hi there, Lynn. I love plants. They hate me. Every single freakin’ year I need to replace all of my plants. The ones inside, that is. I’m not kidding. I’m dead serious when it comes to spending money. So now I’m thinking about hating them back by not giving them any water. The result will be the same, but at least I’ll feel better. What do you think? Good idea?
absolutely a good idea…you’ll show them
I say just revel in your avoidance capabilities. Besides, there’s always next year!
Terri (also a plant killer)
Hahaha…I always start out with the best of intentions. Oh well. How are you doing??
Haha, I used to be the kiss of death to all plant life before I started serious vegetable gardening, which I’m surprised I actually pull off.
One way I have learned to tame my ADD and make things like this easier to do is by making it as convenient as possible. Yes, this does mean you have to force yourself to spend a few hours getting things set up right in the first place, but once you do, it’s so worth it. I’d say get yourself a nice long hose and one of those easy-crank things you wind the hose up on to so you’re not cursing the day you bought 40 ft of hose which is now in an elaborate knot it would take a month to untie. A good sprinkler attachment at the end and then go crazy all over them plants. Also you can use it to spray local children/pets/service providers when you’re in need of amusement.
Having lived in apartments my whole adult life, I would looooove a yard to have plants in which to kill.
I have a tendency to get bored with stuff. Actually, most of my hose attachments are broken because i forgot to remove them before the freeze set in. I feel these things are why my husband exists.
Good advice though
I have had this problem for a long time. I buy plants and then they end of dying on me, maybe because I forget about them or just no time for them but seems someone around here always has to take over the job and keep telling me I seem to kill them all lol.
stupid plants…always with the water