This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i made a purchase

 

So today has been a highly successful day thus far.  First, I woke up and I wasn’t dead which is always a great start to the day.  Then, I eventually got off my ass and went to work out.  Win WIN!!!

 

After that, I decided to go to Barnes & Noble and return some books.  Of course, they informed me that I couldn’t return them since I had bought them in September and it was now January.  REALLY?  Is it my fault that I bought a bunch of MCAT books for Andie and then she decided to take a different course instead?  I think not.

 

At any rate, after pouting and asking for store credit, the guy called the manager and they took them back.  Yes!  They even put it back on my American Express card so it was all-good.  As I was leaving the shopping center I realized that I could accomplish something that I’ve needed to do for about 6 months.  BUY NEW TOWELS and SHEETS!

 

That’s right.  Those are they types of things that I avoid like the plague but what the hell right?  I mean I was at the shopping center and in a relatively good mood so I might as well go for it.  So I walked in and there was a huge sale on.  EVEN BETTER!  First I decided to buy two sets of Full sheets and two sets of Queen sheets.  Then I thought I might as well buy some sheets for me too so I bought some King sheets.  I mean these things were basically half off.

 

I then realized that there has been much bitching about a towel shortage in my house so I should buy them too so I bought 10 bath towels, 8 hand towels, and 4 washcloths.  I only buy white towels so that they can be used at any of the 4 bathrooms in the house.  Yeah, I’m brilliant like that.

 

So I’m waiting to check out and I’m waiting to check out and I’m waiting to check out and for some reason my American Express card isn’t working.  Turns out that’s because the woman behind the counter called VISA and THEY wouldn’t approve it.  While I was waiting I was convincing the two customers behind me that they should only buy white towels and ecru sheets because then there’s always a towel or set of sheets no matter what bathroom or room.  I’m sure they appreciated it.  Lynn MacDonald does public service! FINALLY I got approved after about 30 minutes.  UNBELIEVABLE!

 

So I walked out carrying a ton of stuff and then I went back in and decided to buy some ties for Daniel since there was this huge sale on. I’m all about my 18 year old having some sweet ties.  This time I had to call fraud prevention and convince them that I was me (like anyone else would want to be).  I guess I never shop in department stores.  I’m pretty much just an online shopper.

 

On the way home I was in a great mood and I called Kevin:

 

Me:                  Hey! I just saved loads of money!

Kevin:             Why am I not excited to hear this?

Me:                  I saved tons at Belk’s!

Kevin:             What did you buy?

Me:                  Towels and sheets

Kevin:             why?  I hate when you spend money on that stuff?

Me:                  are you kidding me, I got them at half off

Kevin:             our current towels are fine

Me:                  They’re absolutely trashed!

Kevin:             I don’t see why we needed new ones.

Me:                  out of the entire household, you care more about towels than anyone

Kevin:             what do you mean?

Me:                  these new ones are nice and fluffy so they will dry well

Kevin:             I could just drip dry

Me:                  are you kidding me? You’re a dainty dryer.

Kevin:             what does that mean?

Me:                  I mean you don’t stop drying until you get every single drop of water off you.

Kevin:             that’s not true

Me:                  you might be the only person on earth that spends an hour drying between their toes

Kevin:             that’s not true

Me:                  I mean who does that?  Doesn’t the water on your feet just dry when you’re standing on the bath mat?

Kevin:             you’re exaggerating

Me:                  maybe it’s a guy thing… I should probably be thrilled you’re all obsessive about the drying actually

Kevin:             what do you mean?

Me:                  I mean, your feet are already gross and I suppose if you didn’t dry between your toes your feet could rot and fall off

Kevin:             that’s not true

Me:                  that’s why we need new towels

Kevin:             Lynn, I have a job to do

(That’s the bullshit excuse Kevin always uses when he wants to stop a conversation…that and the always perfect “ok Lynn”)

 

So there you are!  And remember!! WHITE TOWELS and ECRU SHEETS!!

 

I’m just saying …

 

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31 Comments

  1. Amy - Hamlet's Mistress
    February 1, 2012

    Love this and I intend on adopting your white towel/ecru sheet philosophy as soon as I have more than one bedroom and/or bathroom.

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      Hey there!!! How are you doing?????

  2. Nicole@TheKidlessKronicles
    February 1, 2012

    Now I will have to head over to Belk and see what I can score on new sheets and towels. There goes my shopping diet. THANKS Lynn!
    Nicole@TheKidlessKronicles recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday (WIAW)My Profile

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      Ummm…glad I could be of service

  3. Enrika
    February 1, 2012

    Hi Lynn..i can definitely relate to your situation here…lol..
    Enrika recently posted..Guest houses PaigntonMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      My husband….unbelievable right???

  4. Pamela D Hart
    February 1, 2012

    I do Ecru towels AND sheets. But yeah, being a Public Service Assistant in line is AWESOME. Although many people don’t appreciate it much. I get lots of blank stares. What’s up with THAT shit? Maybe I should just be a bitch, it’s SO much easier.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..An Enlightening TailMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      well, it does take a certain style to be a bitch…and I wasn’t being a bitch in line, just helping out my fellow shopper!!

  5. Melanie
    February 1, 2012

    The part about him drying between his toes made me laugh out loud. And you have inspired me. This weekend I’m going to get four new bath towels and a new set of sheets for my California King. I have two sets that I kind of like, but I’m going to buy one set I REALLY like. My check was big this month plus I have my first mighty big tax return coming ’cause of my mortgage interest. Yay new stuff you actually need! (I was going to buy a pair of Tory Burch ballet flats. I need sheets instead).

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      he was just bitching this morning about the sheets. why couldn’t i have married a typical guy who didn’t give a shit?

  6. Julie
    February 1, 2012

    Wow, we share a towel philosophy. I have never had anything but white.
    This past Christmas, my sister “redid” the master bath as my gift. New rug, towels, bath mat, the whole 9 yards. She informed me (and I am giving you an exact quote here), “You know Julie, a little color won’t kill you.”
    I agreed that color would indeed, not kill me … however her continued unasked for opinions could result in my murdering her.

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      hahaha…that was such a funny comment.See? you are very funny

  7. Name *
    February 1, 2012

    Sorry. White towels show stains too easily. And my son is a stainmaking machine. We’ll go with ‘all dark blue’, though, on the same philosophy, since we couldn’t care less what matches.

  8. brien16
    February 1, 2012

    Well scenario behind that towel is so adorable! I love your blog. Thanks for sharing with us.
    brien16 recently posted..ChamonixMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      Thank you

  9. Miss Annie V.
    February 1, 2012

    *incoherent sobs* I wanna buy towels and sheets!!!!! And totally taking notes on the white & ecru thing – my linen closet looks like a unicorn threw up in there – I’m suspecting I’ve been colorblind for years based on what I “eyeballed” thinking it would match and or compliment perfectly. HGTV hates my freedom. Just sayin’. *more sobbing*

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      Hahaha…it’s so much easier, trust me!!!

  10. Myssie1963
    February 1, 2012

    When my husband and I first got married, 26 years ago, we could have cared less about the sheets we slept on, if we had any at all. Now, though, we BOTH insist on at least 300 thread count sheets which have to at least go with the comforter if not match. It’s weird how much we change our tastes as we get old.

    Thanks for writing, I’ve spent the last few weeks catching up on your blog from the beginning and I really enjoy reading about your adventures, family and offbeat way of thinking. Keep up the insanity!

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      hahaha..thanks. I like that you like my thinking because i get soooo much shit about it around here.

  11. Kim
    February 1, 2012

    I only buy white towels because my boyfriend bleaches EVERYTHING. When my girls were little I would only buy the same brand and type of white socks. That way I never had to worry about matching them. If one got lost in the dryer, I never knew it. Lot less stressful. When they got older, they just didn’t bother to match any socks. Now Journey’s sells mismatched socks. My girls were way ahead of the curve.

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      you were a trendsetter! that’s a great idea

  12. Charry
    February 1, 2012

    I used to buy more towels too especially I have a big family…
    Charry recently posted..Treatment for Acute Myeloid LeukemiaMy Profile

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2012

      yeah, towels are quite important around here

  13. Lori
    February 2, 2012

    Holy Shitakes,

    how have I not found you before?

    You are the epitome of brilliance!

    I am in love, i LOVE the white towel, ecru sheet theory.

    Love love LOVE this theory
    Granted something similar is why I only have queen sized beds in my house

    easy sheet fitting.

    • Lynn
      February 2, 2012

      I don’t know… I’ve been right here. Nice to meet you

      • Lori
        February 2, 2012

        I am so glad to meet you!

        • Lynn
          February 2, 2012

          Well, there’s always plenty of crazy around here

  14. Tonya
    February 4, 2012

    Another newbie here! And I love you already because, WHITE TOWELS, duh!! I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do this! My mom finds me boring for this, but I love how they all look so nice and uniform. I also use only white sheets, but my young kids get a bit of a break …..they are allowed some polka dots or something ON white. White kitchen towels are the must here, too. Everything can be bleached and everything looks crisp and clean. Just how my OCD likes it!

    • Lynn
      February 4, 2012

      can’t argue with you there. it’s so much simpler

  15. “So today has been a highly successful day thus far. First, I woke up and I wasn’t dead which is always a great start to the day!”

    Hahaha…seriously that one gave me some laughing fits, but it’s actually true! What a great way to start a day

    • Lynn
      February 26, 2012

      thanks

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