This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i might unionize

 

Hmmm… where to start this post?  Have you ever decided to write about something and then realized that it wouldn’t be appreciated unless you explained something else before it and then by the time you explained the previous thing the post was already too long?  That was rhetorical.  Don’t answer.

 

I was going to talk about a conversation that Kevin and I had about my “vacation” day but then I realized I couldn’t explain that conversation until I explained my “day off” which is an entirely different post that has yet to be written.  Are you intrigued now?

 

At any rate, I’m going to skip both of those today and just talk about Employee Appreciation Day.  Here goes:

 

This past Tuesday was Employee Appreciation Day at Endura Products Inc.  Endura Products is the company we own and they have this day on a yearly basis.

 

So Kevin and I were discussing it and we had the following conversation:

 

Me:                  So how was Employee Appreciation Day at work?

Kevin:              It was great.  All the employees love it.

Me:                  I don’t understand why we don’t have it around here.

Kevin:              Around here?  Like in this house?

Me:                  Yeah, I mean I’m NEVER appreciated around here.

Kevin:              Do you consider yourself an employee?

Me:                  Well, I run this entire household and NOBODY has ever appreciated me.

Kevin:              I’m not sure you’re considered an employee Lynn.

Me:                  … yeah, I’m more like a slave!

And then I left and went to take my dog outside and get the newspaper.  While I was out there, my next door neighbor Ed and his friend Tom were walking by my house and I, being so friendly and all, said hello.

 

Me:                  Hey guys.  How are you today?

Ed:                  Great Lynn, how are you?

Me:                  Are you aware that there is no Employee Appreciation Day in my household?

Tom:               What do you mean?

Me:                  Well, Kevin had Employee Appreciation Day at work the other day and I realized that nobody, NOBODY, has ever held an Employee Appreciation Day for me.

Tom:               You should talk to your union.

Me:                  OH MY GOD!  THAT’S IT!!  I should totally unionize!

(And then we all cracked up)

 

Tom:               I’d be happy to be your union head and you can pay your dues to me.

Ed:                  You can go on strike.  Nobody would ever notice the difference.

Me:                  Oh Ed; you wound me, you wound me.

 

So I was all excited and ran inside to tell Kevin that I was going to unionize and I was expecting an incredible Employee Appreciation Day.  I then told him of my conversation with Ed and Tom and how Ed had totally dissed me.

 

Kevin:               Ahhh Lynn.  Ed knows you too well for your bullshit.

Me:                   What? This house would break down without me.

Kevin:               Lynn, this house is breaking down around you even as we speak.

Me:                   Kevin … don’t fuck with the union.

And there you are…what do you think?  Are you with me on the concept of Employee Appreciation Day?  After all, I couldn’t be any less appreciated than I am.

 

I’m just saying …

 

 

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11 Comments

  1. Katja Brown
    September 23, 2011

    I see that your reputation has spread around the neighborhood ;)

    • Lynn
      September 23, 2011

      Well, i have lived here for 9 years and he IS my next door neighbor so yeah, my reputation is known around here

  2. gramps
    September 23, 2011

    So, if you Unionize, then you can get all sorts of extra days off—like the opening of dear season, your birthday, and lots more stuff.
    Will be great. Then you will have to hire someone to fill in when you are on vacation or at Union meetings. of course, then that person will want to be in the Union and the cycle perpetuates itself.
    Hmmmmm

    • Lynn
      September 23, 2011

      nah…you’re making it way to complicated…plus I’m impossible to replace so there’s that!

  3. Luda
    September 23, 2011

    I’m getting a Bert & Ernie vibe from Tom & Ed. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    • Lynn
      September 23, 2011

      hahaha….they are in their 80’s and have been walking together every morning forever (well, at least for the 9 years I’ve lived here). They like to give me shit…too funny

  4. Dorothy
    September 23, 2011

    hahahahahaha love it!!

    • Lynn
      September 23, 2011

      I mean, don’t we deserve that? Don’t we????

  5. Walt
    September 24, 2011

    We should plan for you to be at employee appreciation day next year and give the keynote speech to the company!

    • Lynn
      September 24, 2011

      Finally o get to give a keynote address!!!! Excellent

  6. Vapid Vixen
    September 25, 2011

    Go on strike for a week. Just a week. It’s fun when all hell breaks loose.

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