This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
This past weekend I ran down to the Type A Conference in Charlotte. Because of all the shit going down, I certainly couldn’t make a weekend commitment but I did feel fairly confident that I’d get a chance to go visit my friends. I went down on Saturday and came back Sunday. I didn’t attend any of the conference events but I hung out in the bar and got to see a fair number of bloggers (what does that say about us huh?)
I ran into quite a few people and the conversation turned to one of two things. How is Keely? (Which is to be expected) and How are your fish doing? I cracked up. Apparently, the trials and tribulations of keeping Gilgamesh and Hercules alive are resonating with people. Why just today, I came into the office and guess what? The water is cloudy again.
I suppose that Andie is correct. Fish shit like it’s their job. I think one of the following problems is the issue:
However, I was given a piece of advice last week. Here it is:
Hahaha, now I haven’t given mollusk’s (is that a plural mollusk?) much thought since I took biology which I think was in college before I realized that I couldn’t be a doctor due to a significant lack of good study habits.
So I asked around and someone told me that no, that was for a salt-water tank. I have a fresh water tank. Or today a “somewhat” fresh water tank as it is sort of cloudy. After about 5 martinis, we started discussing fish again (I know right?) and Nicole of By Words Musings (my blogging bestie) suggested the following:
WHAT? My reply: “Let me get this straight Nicole. You want me to go to my local lake (which by the way, I live near a lake so it’s a possibility), stick my hand in the water and pull out an apple snail?”
Yep. That’s what she wanted. Then I asked, “how will I know if it’s an apple snail?” and she actually had no answer. Then someone, I think Kelly Pugliano suggested that I get a sucker fish and throw it in the tank.
I explained there were problems with these scenarios. After Googling sucker fish (which I just assumed was a dumbass fish who bought all the shit everyone was constantly selling them) I found out they grow pretty large.
“Let me get this straight. You guys want me to buy this fish that’s going to be 8 inches long and stick it in there with Gilgamesh and Hercules who are about 2 inches long?”
Yep, they told me the suckerfish would keep the tank clean (who’s the sucker now?)
I realized that the problem with this scenario was that I don’t actually own these fish. I’m just their temporary caretaker and they’re Andie’s fish. I don’t have “naming rights” to any fish. If I got the fish the pressure to have a great name for the fish would be immense.
I called up and Andie and explained my dilemma (she thinks I should just get a new filter) about the naming of the new fish. Andie has a lot of good names picked out for new fish. Like Achilles, or Odysseus but she was really thinking Nebakanezer because she doesn’t really have an Egyptian name in the bunch.
Problem solved right? I suppose it will be as soon as I walk down to my local lake and shove my hand into the murky water and pull out either an “apple snail” or a “sucker fish.” Neither scenario sounds appealing to me.
Any suggestions out there? This fish are stressful.