This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i quit …

It’s 8:37 and I’m at the gym. I’m pissed off and moody and irritable which isn’t shocking since I woke up that way.  Which also isn’t shocking since I went to bed that way.

 

I dropped off Keely at physical therapy at 8:30 and came here to get 45 minutes of cardio in.  I woke up to an email from her saying it was 2:47 AM, her hip was killing her and could we change her Physical Therapy Appointment.  Well no, we can’t.  When I got the text it was 6:45 AM and the only reason we took such an early appointment was because there wasn’t anything available later. After all, it’s a major hassle getting out the door that early.

 

Add Keely’s mood into the mix and it’s not looking to be a pretty day.

 

Yesterday I walked into my shrink appointment and started telling him that I was angry, irritable and annoyed and after a 10 minute diatribe where I stated that I hated blogging, painting, everyone I ever met up to and including my family he calmly announced that it was obvious I was having a major mood shift.  Now as you know, or you would if you actually read this blog, I have mood swings aka bipolar disorder.

 

I looked at him and said “to what?” because I’ve not been in a great mood and judging by my attitude things were only going to get worse.

 

“You have all the symptoms Lynn: irritability, anxiety, anger, etc. so that’s what’s going on” to which I responded, “you better fucking fix it” because I’m at the end of my rope here.

 

He didn’t though.  Fix it that is.  I was so pissed off at him that I wanted to punch him but didn’t have time because I had to drive Keely down to Duke for a check up.

 

On the way down I decided I would try to explain my mood to Keely who of course responded with “I’d take you life over mine any day.” I should have gotten rid of her years ago.  At what point does it become apparent that although your life sucks, other people have issues too? Rhetorical I know.

 

Last night Kevin and were discussing this and he said “I bet people look at us and think man those people have it all, they’re so lucky” but even so, you can have worries, concerns and in fact major problems.

 

Meanwhile, last night I asked Daniel to run our and pick up dinner to which he “responded why can’t you do it?” Boy was I pissed.  Of course I could do it but his job this summer is to do house tasks, help with Keely and help me.

 

“I could do it” I responded “but I drove to Duke today and what the fuck did you do?”  Then he got defensive and said he’d been great with Keely and has his eyes dilated that day so he couldn’t see well so I did what any normal mom would do under the circumstances, I handed in my resignation.

 

“I resign,” I said.  “What about two weeks notice,” Daniel asked? I turned to Keely and said, ” Who is this person who is talking to me?”

 

Then Keely asked if I was her mom anymore and I said her and Andie could blame Daniel because “I’m done.”

 

Then when Kevin came home Daniel told Kevin I yelled at him which is patently untrue, as I never raised my voice.

 

So there you are. I’m at the gym typing this one handed onto my iPad.  No longer a mom but still a driver I guess.  Kevin asked if I was still his wife and I’m mulling that one over.  I guess I’ll let him know later.

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19 Comments

  1. Ready to do a Thelma and Louise?
    Without the original ending.
    We can make one of our own that includes a pool, beach and cocktails being brought over by a cute Brad Pitt look a like – early days.
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Juicy Couture and BIG WordsMy Profile

    • Lynn
      July 6, 2012

      I am…i’m bored

  2. Tere
    July 6, 2012

    Oh my…. soooooooo true. Yes, I have had those days, and I would love to quit… too bad everyone finds me and thinks my resignation was a joke. Maybe if I throw whatever is in arms reach when they get within target range… maybe they will get the picture… DOUBT IT!!! I think maybe that pool, beach and cocktails sounds pretty good right now!

    • Lynn
      July 6, 2012

      I am totally ready to leave

  3. Jester Queen
    July 6, 2012

    Ouch. Ride the wave if you can without killing anybody. Sometimes, that’s all I can aim for. And I end up raising my voice all the fucking time.

    • Lynn
      July 6, 2012

      better now…thanks

  4. Julie
    July 6, 2012

    I don’t think one has to have bipolar disorder to relate to this one. I agree with Kevin ~ outside “appearances” can be very deceiving. Yesterday I was ready to kill the world (and had taken the day off for “me”). After running errands all day, doing 6 loads of laundry, cooking dinner and then doing the dishes by hand because the fucking dishwasher is broken, The Mister had balls big enough to ask me what my problem was. I told him to back away quickly because the rubber gloves I was wearing would cover my prints as I stabbed him with the knife that was conveniently in my hand.

    • Lynn
      July 6, 2012

      hahaha…i was ok today but now i’m soooooo pissed at Daniel

  5. Melanie
    July 6, 2012

    God I can so relate to these days. One time I ran away from my friend yelling, “I quit life! No, I am not going to commit suicide. I just quit life for today. I’m over it!”

    My mood swings are crazy. Sometimes I try and jump off of them and I just end up hurting my ankle.
    Melanie recently posted..Who’s Sick Of Me Getting Awards Already?My Profile

    • Lynn
      July 6, 2012

      i wish we could actually do that though…run away

  6. Pamela D Hart
    July 6, 2012

    You’re burned out Lynn. Being pulled in so many damn directions it’s a wonder you don’t have your own private rubber room!
    You need a few clones and have them slap Daniel upside his head, which is what I want to do when my kids ask such screwed up questions. I could just pinch their heads right off!

    Hang in there. Your life is good, as you know, but it gets stressful at times, as you also know.

    Big Hugs ((YOU))
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..If U Can’t Laugh AT Your Kids ~ Don’t Have AnyMy Profile

    • Lynn
      July 7, 2012

      thanks Pam for the comment…I’m ok now

  7. Dylan Lin Calista
    July 9, 2012

    Well, gee, I thought I was in a bad mood this weekend.

    The one thing that REALLY killed me when I used to see my so-called ‘shrink’ was, she kept asking : ‘How does that make you feel?’

    Me : I’m depressed…things are just going so wrong.

    Stupid shrink : And how does that make you feel?

    Me : How the hell do you think it makes me feel? I just said I was depressed, right?

    She kept asking me this ALL the time so I decided to stop seeing her altogether.

    • Lynn
      July 9, 2012

      that would piss me off…my shrink isn’t like that at all

  8. Kathy Oh
    July 9, 2012

    Well guess what, I quit a few years ago & nobody noticed! These days I read alot & watch too much tv, when I should be doing more productive things like drawing(which is how I should be making a living) vacuuming, all the usual house stuff. Tired of being the maid. Oh well, if they don’t care… I think about running away alot, but am afraid the guilt of leaving my Asperger son with his father for his senior year would just add to feeling awful. But who knows. Think I just need to go for a walk, or make cookies. Believe it or not, I have a pretty good sense of humor, that helps. You ain’t alone & i appreciate your thoughts.

    • Lynn
      July 9, 2012

      Awwww…feel better

  9. Born27
    July 11, 2012

    Hi Lynn,
    Cheer up! You still have more things you can do. Your friends are there, invite them for dinner, cook for them. That’s one way to fight boredom..
    Born27 recently posted..gmail conference callMy Profile

  10. Jess
    July 11, 2012

    “I should have gotten rid of her years ago.” Obviously the fact that I guffawed (not giggled…that’s a pissant ridiculously girly description for the loud belly-laugh my coworkers heard across the room) at that line means I’m stuck here for good.

    I see you’re better now (because I’m a good stalker *ahem* reader…who reads comments). I find sitting in my car at a stoplight and screaming at teh top of my lungs helps when I’m that ready to kill and/or escape the family. Also, it’s entertaining as HELL to terrify the person in the car next to you. Particularly if it’s summer…and the window’s down
    Jess recently posted.."I rather like my lady bits – certainly enough so that I don’t want to purposefully electrocute them."My Profile

    • Lynn
      July 11, 2012

      Thanks ….I’ll try the screaming thing….
      I’m better…just a moody person

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