This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i ramble

So I’m sitting here at my computer and I decided to read some of the past blog entries that have been written but not yet published and guess what? Many of them are outdated. This is a huge problem because who knows when the “depressive” part of my manic depression will hit and I will have absolutely nothing to say. Well, let me rephrase that; I always have something to say, it just might not be very funny. It could be serious, or morose, or contemplative or even mean. I was attempting to build a backlog of entries up for when such a time struck.

But looking back at them, many of them refer to previous events so now they’re outdated. So what do I do? Do I get rid of them? Edit them? I’m not sure. I could just post them as they are and let you, my trusty readers, figure out the timeline but I don’t want to make anybody do math just because they’re reading this blog so I’m trying to figure that out.

I’m also trying to figure out if there should be a method to my madness. Should I write all the International Paper ones at a time, or should I just go as my mood suits me. And where do I put in the interesting, but not actually too funny, stories? Boy this is a lot of questions! I think that now would be a good time for feedback from you guys.

I can, and do, check the stats on this blog. I can see what area people come from, how long they stay, and how many repetitive visits they have. I have noticed that even my good friends tend to only check about once every week or so and then they catch up on the backlog. This is fine by me as I’ve decided “not to worry” about my readership numbers. The original plan was to get lots of readers and then get a book deal thus making me acceptable to the talk show hosts. Now, I’m thinking I’m just going to keep writing and see what happens. The talk show thing will happen by sheer force of will.

People have asked me “why do you want to be a professional talk show guest?” I suppose that’s a good question. The simple answer is that, although I don’t actually watch many talk shows, I noticed that especially on late night, the guests tend to be “famous” but not terribly interesting or intelligent people. The hosts are generally very interesting and very intelligent. I mean, why are people like Paris Hilton getting interviewed on David Letterman? She’s famous for … what exactly? Being born in the right family? Screwing the right people? Looking decent in her clothes? I know for a fact it’s not for the statements coming out of her mouth. That’s why I don’t watch a lot of these shows.

But, I would love to chat with David Letterman. In fact, I have had many such conversations with him already. Unfortunately they’re usually in my imagination but I’m sure something could be worked out to make that a reality. If the conversation in person goes even half as well as the one in my brain then it’s sure to be a hit! Chelsea Handler is another one of my favorites and when she first started, my brother Bruce called me up and said “Lynn, I found someone just like you on television.” So, I think she and I could have a helluva conversation. She’s smart, funny and sarcastic. What more do I need?

Bill Maher is someone I’m dying to talk to as well. I don’t want to be on the panel because those people are so bright and well-informed and I’m just … well, not. But, I could be the special guest who comes on at the end. I’ve always wanted to have a little chat with him. We could discuss all sorts of things. He might even appreciate my pot brownie story as he is a confirmed pothead. Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert … the list goes on and on.

So you see, there are many people I would love to chat with and I would, given the chance. The problem is getting the chance. I’ve met many people who agree that I would be a great talk show guest. Now I just need a chance to prove it. Do you agree?

As per usual, this post has meandered all over the place and what started out as pondering past entries has now segued into being a talk show guest. It’s just that ability to steer the topics that make me invaluable to the David Letterman’s of the world. So what do ya think? Do I have a shot at my goal? That was rhetorical, no answer necessary. I’m going to keep on keeping on. A little feedback from you guys out there would be awesome. Is it funny? Is it good? Am I annoying you? Actually, scratch that. I don’t care if I’m annoying you. Don’t fucking read it then. At any rate, I’m totally rambling now so I’m out of here.

I’m just saying…

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  1. LilPixi
    November 1, 2010

    Hey Lynn, hope you had a great weekend!

    I too have a lil collection of things written but never published, and I figured if I ever felt the urge to post em' I'd maybe tweak em' a lil just to let the readers know the story goes back a bit. I see no harm in posting any of those if you think they're worthwhile subjects/stories.

    I also say just go with your mood if you want to talk about something. More & more I read that readers want to see bloggers in their pure form & read things they can relate to. And god knows, we can all relate to all emotions I think.

    Have you considered post labels? They're a great way to organize your posts into categories.

    As far as the talk show deal, I think that's a great goal. You got chutzpah, mama, & you know it; personality, good conversational skills, a killer smile. I think that's great, and hell yeah I think you can do it!

    And it looks like I missed something good about pot brownies. =( lol. Pardon me, I wrote a novel here. lol. But I wanted to give feedback on all questions.;-) =)

  2. Anonymous
    November 1, 2010

    Hhhmmm…….I would answer some of those thoughtful questions you have, but for some reason, I have a feeling that you're going to do what you want to do anyway!!! HAHA!! Am I right? Also, your uniqueness is going to take you through an amazing journey which hopefully includes being a "talk show guest"! Keep up the great work!

  3. Anonymous
    November 1, 2010

    Don't forget to vote.

  4. kate
    November 1, 2010

    Hey! Look! I'm following you all proper like.

    Feel free to make people… (Althought I nearly typed things, but let's not get into that, right now.) do math. People (and things) don't do enough math on a regular basis. I make excel do most of mine.

    Also, my friend Matt and I used to have an imaginary talkshow that we hosted when we were bored at the bar. We hosted our talkshow so often that sometimes we kind of forgot that it was all in our heads and no one else knew what we were talking about. Not sure what the point of that was, but I thought I would share.

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