This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i receive the “best compliment ever”

Ok… Here I am once again sitting at my computer pondering what to say today? Firstly, my daughter has informed me that I have the worst syntax ever and that I have an awful writing style. Of course, all summer I asked her to write down the stories and now she’s getting ready to go off to college so I don’t see how this is my fault.

I was debating which story to tell and I’ve decided to tell the one about the “Best Compliment Ever”. We begin the story when I graduate college. For my present my parents sent me on a lightening tour of Europe; seriously, 15 countries in 31 days. It’s a lot of time on a bus, a lot of time in hostels and a whole lot of time drinking… but it’s fun and I had a lot of funny, funny things happen there.

So…I was 22 and I’m in Copenhagen, Denmark. Now apparently, the Swedes and the Danes don’t like each other very much. This tour I’m on is so cheap that if we were in New York, we’d be staying in Times Square. Seriously, we were in the Red Light District in every country. Anyways, where was I. Oh yeah, so a friend of mine and I are in the low rent district of Copenhagen getting a bite to eat at a diner when some drunk guy walks up to us. Here’s the conversation:

Drunk Guy: Hey!

Me: Hey!

Drunk Guy: So, what are you guys?

Me: We’re American Tourists

Drunk Guy: American Whores?

Me: No, American Tourists

Drunk Guy: American Whores?

Me: No, A-mer-i-can Tour-ists

Drunk Guy: God. You American Whores are so much better looking than
the Swedish Whores

So there you have it. Just one random snippet from a trip that provided plenty. Anyways, it’s one of my favorite stories because I know that at the very least, I am better looking than the Swedish Whores!!!

BEST COMPLIMENT EVER!!!

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8 Comments

  1. Renee Miller
    November 5, 2010

    Sure, you American whores are hotter than Swedish whores, but you ain't got nothin on Canadian whores. Just sayin. We look hot with frozen boogers and chapped everything. Plus, we have poutine. (that's food you bunch of pervs.)

  2. Fragrant Liar
    November 19, 2010

    I don't know. Have you ever seen a Texas whore? In Texas, we have poontang. (No that's not food, for you bunch of pervs.)

    ;-)

  3. Karla Telega
    December 11, 2010

    My daughters were out in front of their Baltimore house a few years ago. A man pulled up and asked if they were working. They were bundled up and walking a pug wearing a little yellow rain slicker. What kind of Einstein thinks that whores moonlight as dog walkers?

    • Lynn
      December 11, 2010

      I used to live in Baltimore. That’s hilarious. A hooker in a slicker! With a dog…I’m visualizing it. Hahaha

  4. Kimberly
    December 26, 2010

    Once several years (and quite a few pounds ago), we were in the backyard pool and I teased my boys and said they were my waterbabies. Then my youngest, thinking he was in on the fun said, “Mommy, you’re our very own Sea Cow!”

    What?????

    • Lynn
      December 26, 2010

      Hahaha…i guess that’s why kids shouldn’t crack jokes. Hahaha…Sea Cow! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Mad Woman behind the Blog
    January 16, 2011

    I was in a strip club in Vegas in a backless, low cut top (with barely enough boobs to hold the damn thing in place) and low cut jeans. When one of the stripped came to give my buddy a lap dance she asked if I was in the business. When I said no, she said “you should, you’ve got a great bod.”
    Yes, this was before children and even my husband doesn’t believe this story. But its true, dammit!

    • Lynn
      January 16, 2011

      Hahaha…go for it! Mine was just a drunk compliment, but still…I love the story!

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