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In which i reprint a sanctimonious parenting post

think it about

Every time I think about quitting this blog I feel bad and then I write a blog post. It’s not like I don’t have anything to say.




But I was thinking about writing about the Stanford Rape Case but after reading and reading and reading everything has basically been said.


Then I thought well I can write about Orlando but other than the facts that GUNS ARE FUCKING STUPID and let’s AT LEAST GET RID OF ASSAULT WEAPONS all the other crap is nonsense.

Closing of the US to immigrants … DUMB.

Getting no guns for people on the No Fly List … OBVIOUS BUT NOT EVEN CLOSE TO ENOUGH.


After all, that guy who shot up Orlando wasn’t on the “no fly” list. Why are these guns even available?


Then the poor family in Orlando (Gee poor Orlando)


Like the kid in the Gorilla pit before people suck and are so judgey. But you know what? Apparently I’ve written about that before.


Yeah I was on Twitter this morning and I saw someone retweeted a post I wrote god only knows how long ago. I reread the post and it was pretty good so guess what? I’m going to reprint it RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!! It was written after the Aurora, Colorado shooting when someone had an infant at a move.


Here ya go:


You know what I’m sick of? I’m sick of all the self-righteous assholes in this country.  You know whom I’m talking about. I’m talking about the second guessing people who start condemning everyone when something happens.


Like the people who are saying “who would bring a kid to a midnight showing of batman?”  Like the people who blame the victim in a rape case for wearing “slutty” clothes.  Like the people who blame a shooting victim for “dressing like a thug.”


Yeah, those are the people I’m sick of.  I personally have never taken a kid to a midnight show. I have actually never attended a midnight show, mostly because I’m always too sleepy by midnight.  But some people have babies who sleep soundly at night.  Maybe those babies are up all day?  Maybe those people don’t have babysitters? Maybe that’s the only time those people ever get a break?


I’ve been in movies with infants before and as long as the kid is quiet and sleeping it doesn’t bother me.  I’ve also been in movies where the infant wakes up and cries and that annoys me because THEN it’s ruining MY movie experience.


Infants can’t follow the plot so who cares if it’s Batman or Cinderella.  If kids could absorb stuff like that I’d have them listen to NPR all the time.  I haven’t seen where that worked in my household.


Who hasn’t made mistakes?  I’ve made plenty and it’s not the mistake, it’s what you do with it that matters.  In my old house, we had a finished basement.  We had an area for the girls to play dress up and dolls and stuff and also had a workout area in it.  In the evening Kevin would go down there and get on the Stairmaster and workout and the girls would play.


One evening I went down there, when the girls were 3 and 4, and Kevin was watching Terminator on TV.  I was thoroughly pissed because I felt that it was “inappropriate” for them to be watching such a violent movie at that age.  And yet, it happened.  Kevin was watching the movie and he never gave it much thought.


We also took our kids to see “Cold Mountain” which was totally a bad idea at the time.  I had read the book and while I knew it was a bit “advanced” for them but I didn’t realize that there would be a sex scene in the movie.  People were aghast that we had young kids there and Kevin and I did damage control by covering the kids eyes but it was definitely a mistake.


These things happen when you’re a parent.  Every day there are decisions and often, none of the choices are perfect.


Case in point.  You have a sick kid who has 103 fever and you’re on the way back from the pediatricians.  You need to pick up the prescription. It’s been called in but still; you have to run in the store. What do you do if your kid has fallen asleep?  Do you wake up your sick kid and take them in for the 3 minutes it takes to pick up the meds?  Or do you lock them in the car and run into the store hoping it’s quick?  What if there’s a line?  Do you wait? Do you run outside and check on the kid? Do you wake them up?


Every day as a parent you have those decisions.  Who hasn’t buckled their kids up and left the house and then remembered, “Oh shit, I forgot something.”  Then you run home and you leave them in the car while you run inside and get it.  What if it’s freezing outside? Do you leave the car running?  Do you turn it off?  This stuff happens every day and every day you make choices.


99.9 percent of the time these things happen and there are no repercussions.  But on the .01 percent chance that something does happen, do you really need all those pontificating sanctimonious assholes telling you that you screwed up?


I remember when Keely was really starting to love reading that I gave her “the Prince of Tides” to read.  Now I love Pat Conroy and I love that book.  She was really stretching her wings and wanted an interesting book.  I gave her that one completely forgetting that there was a VERY GRAPHIC RAPE scene in the book.  Not just rape but male on male rape as well.


Of course, when she got to that scene, she was shocked.  She was 13 and didn’t even realize that boys could rape boys.  Was it inappropriate? Yes, it definitely was but what’s done is done so we discussed it.  I wish I hadn’t given her the book yet but I used it as a learning opportunity.  After all, what choice did I have?


Are there billions of situations out there that I’d like to butt into and say stop? Yes, there are.  Once I was at a peewee football game for Daniel and there was a family in front of me.  The child, probably around 5, was obese.  During the course of this one-hour game the kid ate popcorn, candy, soda, and hot dog and some other assorted crap.  I WAS DYING to say something to the parents about “how could you allow this to happen?” but ya now what? It wasn’t my place.  I mean, I have my own issues with my own kids and I certainly don’t need to know what YOU think I should do.


The point is that people make choices and they have to live with the repercussions of those choices and they sure as hell don’t need a bunch of judgmental hypocrites saying, “I told you so.”


What happened in Colorado was a tragedy but what really galls me is the reaction to this tragedy.  Why do we have to always assign blame?  Is it fear?  Is it the realization that each choice we make could be wrong?  I really don’t know but I do know it’s wrong and we need to stop it.


Just my opinion but I stand by it.


Lynn MacDonald



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  1. Sheri
    June 18, 2016

    Yep…reminds me of the old two out of three test. Kind, helpful, true…if what you plan to say isn’t at least two of these things, don’t say it!

  2. Lori
    June 18, 2016

    Love it! The world would be a better place if people just tried to be kind and understanding.
    Lori recently posted..Potato Salad, Headlocks and ChloroformMy Profile

  3. Rodrigo Pittman
    June 20, 2016

    I agree.. We should stop the blame game.. It was a tragic accident, that’s what it was.. It wasn’t the parents’ fault. I bet they’re already beating themselves up… We don’t need to add to their grief.. We need to be compassionate and understanding in times like this..
    Rodrigo Pittman recently posted..How To Raise Kids Gluten FreeMy Profile

  4. chacha1
    June 30, 2016

    The alligator thing in Orlando has been discussed, IMHO, from the completely wrong angle. The angle we need to have up on our screens is “how big do we let alligators (outside of official sanctuaries) get before they are automatically killed and turned into tacos and boots.” For any prehistoric lizard roaming a golf course or a public pond, I think four feet is plenty big, thanks.

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