This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i retrieved the blueberry


Hey guys! I just bought a new pair of glasses.   Actually, I’m not thrilled about it because I love, love, love my old glasses but considering they were already 3 years old and new lenses are a small fortune, it was decided (actually the glasses people informed me that they couldn’t fix all the dents and scratches in the old glasses) for me to just get a new pari of glasses.  So yeah, I just did that.


But that’s not what this post is about. Oh no! This post is about how I saved my car from a toxic disaster!!


First, you need to know that I have a new car. Did you know that? Well, you do now.  So I have a new car and on the way back from the glasses place I stopped and got a frozen yogurt with blueberries on top for my lunch.  Now in my old car, the cup holders were broken (which sucked) but because of that, the yogurt cup fit perfectly into the cup holders (yeah for that!)


In my new cars, the cup holders are NOT broken so my frozen yogurt did NOT fit into the cup holder therefore it tipped a bit and guess what??? A blueberry rolled off and fell in between the seats.


As most of you know, the last thing you want is food in between your seats.  In my old car I could NOT get my hand in between the seats so I’m pretty sure an army of germs and general toxic entities were living down there but I was bound and determined to keep this new car clean.


When I got home (and after I finished my yogurt) I went outside to the car, got in the passenger seat and attempted to jam my hand down between the seats.  As you can imagine, this is a hairy and dangerous thing as normally it’s so skinny and who knows, you can lose an arm doing that right?


In this case, my arm slid in and I was all sorts of excited.  I started feeling around (always scary) and came upon a plastic cap that had fallen between the seats last week.  What a wonderful moment it was retrieving that but still, where was my quarry?


Finally, I felt something small.  Was it round? (yes, yes it was)  Was it blue? (how the hell should I know? I don’t have eyes in my hand) Actually, who cares.  I was convinced it was the blueberry.


Now, the precarious part which was retrieving the berry WITHOUT squishing it.  I tried once but the elusive little bastard slipped out of my grasp.  However, without giving it a second thought I went back in and there it was; lodged between my two center fingers I pulled it out and I had done it.


I had saved my car from turning into a toxic wreck.  So basically, I’m a hero around here and I’d be celebrating right now if I hadn’t discovered that my stupid dog ONCE AGAIN peed on my couch.


GODDAMNIT! Now I’m doing wash.  I barely had time to savor my victory before I was forced into some washing action but still, I think we must all admit that I’m pretty damn awesome.

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  1. Catherine
    October 16, 2013

    I cleaned up poop on 5! different occasions from our rescue pugs yesterday. It was raining outside do I guess they just didn’t get their business done. At least it wasn’t on the couch.

    • Lynn
      October 16, 2013


    • Name *
      October 18, 2013

      We have a new puppy. I swear I cleaned up 20 messes today and also let him out 20 times…very frustrating.

  2. Julie
    October 16, 2013

    Impressive. If you’re ever in the Chicago area, you can keep everything you retrieve from between the seats of my 2009 Accord.

    • Lynn
      October 16, 2013

      Normally I can’t get my hand down there…also, NO

  3. Sherry
    October 16, 2013

    In matters such as “what’s under my car’s seats”, I find that ignorance is generally bliss.

  4. Patty
    October 17, 2013

    I have about 30 pairs of single vision glasses. And they’re inexpensive. Not cheap. Even though they start at 6$. It will change your life. No shit!

    • Tamtam
      October 17, 2013

      I agree with this chick. Even 39dollarglasses, I got 5 pairs of glasses for $120. I wear high index lenses too!

    • Lynn
      October 18, 2013

      what do you mean single vision glasses? is that the bifocal part??

      • Patty
        October 20, 2013

        For bifocals add about 20$.

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