This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
In which i seem to have road rage
It’s January 20th and that means that Andie MacDonald is 23 years old. That’s right folks, 23 years ago today Andie tried to kill me in an escape from my womb. IT’s true! My blood pressure plummeted and they actually kicked Kevin from the room. Don’t worry though, she’s been raising my blood pressure ever since.
And by the way, I know this is getting posted on the 22nd of January because I don’t post things on the day I write them. I have to have stuff up ahead of time or else I start getting anxiety and the last thing I want is for this stupid blog to cause anxiety. After all, it’s supposed to be fun! Hahaha
Yesterday, Kevin and I were driving home from the gym and I was doing my normal “yelling” at all the other drivers and he told me that I had road rage. I don’t know if I would call it “road rage,” it’s more like extreme “road aggravation” because I drive around and say things like “you shouldn’t have a license” and “you’re a moron” and “get the hell over” and other assorted things like that. That’s not rage is it?
I think I should be able to take people’s drivers licenses away. That would be a terrific ability to have. I thought I’d share a few of my driving pet peeves with you guys.
- you already know about the assholes who totally don’t understand the school bus rules so I won’t go into that but that is certainly a BIG one, especially since I live near a school.
- I really, really hate people who turn onto the road from a side street RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Half the time there are two lanes and do they pull into the other lane? NO! They pull right into your lane. Nothing pisses me off more than these morons. TAKE AWAY THEIR LICENSES.
- the drifters: you know how sometimes there are middle turning lanes in a road? The drifter just starts drifting into the lane but they don’t get completely in so you can’t go around them. I mean really assholes? That’s why the lane is there so people don’t hold up through traffic.
- Geezers! I know, I know that this is NOT a politically correct thing to say but driving at half the speed limit is okay if you have absolutely nothing going on in your life but people, I need to get somewhere or I would not be in my car. Get it??
- Assholes who can’t park: people who take up more than one parking space. Jesus Christ! How is this so fucking difficult????
- Passing pussies: these people can NOT pass under any circumstances and somehow, you inevitably get stuck behind them. What are you supposed to do? Pass 100 cars at a time because these people are chicken??? Get off the road.
- Assholes with 1 million bumper stickers all over their window so then they can’t see what the hell they’re doing.
Ok, that’s just a brief look at all the things that annoy me while driving. I personally think that I could rid the road in just a few weeks of many of the worst offenders but alas, I have no authority.
Have a great day and Happy Birthday Andie MacDonald (it was actually two days ago)
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My daily commute to and from work is incomplete if I don’t utter, “Are you fucking kidding me, you moronic asshole!” or “Get off the road you tool or I swear to God I’ll drive into you ~ insurance rates be damned!!” This morning, driving in the snow was AWESOME!! I said them both and a few more that just came to me in a moment of inspiration. (And a very Happy Birthday to Andie.)
Thanks Julie. You always make me smile
Sometimes, it takes me three runs to get my small sedan into a single space. BUT. I do it. Because the space hogs annoy me, too. I’d also add, people who hover in your blind spot while passing.
Jester Queen recently posted..Frozen (Movie Review)
Yup…I thought of that one…hmmm
Omg. NC has HORRIBLE drivers. You know what else drives me nuts is people who don’t pull up to the line at a stop light, opting instead to hang back one full car length. What the hell is that about? Also I’m not sure when NC began employing the “turn lane” concept but people still have a REAL loose grasp of how that’s supposed to work. And the “polite” people at stop signs, if you just follow the rules, everyone, there’s noneed for the “you go/no you go/no YOU go” thing. I could go on. I agree with you though, it’s not road rage of you’re not yelling at or chasing people. More like Road Common Sense. That’s a very bulky handle but I’m too tired to think of something snappy.
Well I have seen worse drivers but yeah, they’re not great
I not only have road rage, I sometimes have buffet line rage, coffee line rage, etc. It could be worse.
Alan recently posted..I Don’t Have Time to Read(and other things)
I think I have all that as well
You are funny! This is very entertaining – I’m glad I was drawn to your page! Point taken though, of course….