This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Having a boy after having two girls has been an entirely different ballgame. First of all, Daniel never has the same level of panic over schoolwork that both of my girls did. Second, the complete and total lack of social drama is astonishing and third, engaging Daniel in any type of meaningful dialogue is seemingly impossible and trust me, I’m pretty damn good at dialogue.
Kevin and Daniel never seem to have a problem; they simply begin with sports and take it from there. I, however, have no such talent therefore conversations are sporadic and dare I say it, unusual.
So, without further ado, here are some of my snippets with Daniel:
Me: How’s your arm?
Daniel: It’s fine.
Me: But I thought you got hit badly with a lacrosse stick at practice?
Daniel: I did.
Me: I don’t even see a bruise.
Daniel: That’s because my PLATELETS ARE BEAST!
Me: Yeah, you don’t seem to bruise.
Daniel: And I never get sick. My immune system is like GOD!
And another that took place at Daniels conference:
Me: What’s the first class we’re discussing?
Teacher: Ceramics.
Me: Anything to say about Ceramics Daniel?
Daniel: I AM A MASTER POTTER!
Teacher: It’s true; that’s all he wrote under his ceramics section.
Me: Why do I come to these conferences?
And lastly this:
Me: Daniel, why do you always drop your Rainbows right in front of the refrigerator?
Daniel: (no answer)
Me: I could have killed myself by tripping over your flip flops.
Daniel: That’s an unusual method for suicide.
Me: I wouldn’t be committing suicide. You would have killed me by your flip flops.
Daniel: Well then, that’s an unusual method for murder.
Me: That’s now how I want to be murdered.
Daniel: How do you want to be murdered mom?
Me: By one of those Ninja Death Stars in the throat.
Daniel: Ninja Stars.
Me: What?
Daniel: A Death Star is Star Wars. Those are just Ninja Stars.
Me: Are you sure they’re just called Ninja Stars without a cool name?
Daniel: I’m sure. Google it!
Me: Well, at any rate, I’d like to be murdered by a Ninja Star to the throat.
Daniel: OK!
So you see, these are the types of conversations I keep having. No wonder I’m slowly going insane.
I had a boy first and I thought , “Hey, this parenting thing is easy.” Then, I had my daughter. There was a lot of crying, hair and pink involved. It took me a while to get used to it.
the difference, especially as they hit middle and high school, is UNBELIEVABLE
I AM A MASTER POTTER! – love it.
Ninja Stars, Crossbows… you’ll developing quite the imaginary artillery there, Auntie Lynn.
Well, i spend my life pretend karate chopping and killing people…always have even before kids so you can imagine the types of conversations that always go on. I’m constantly preparing for when i’m an assassin which is why i wanted to be a CIA agent, ya know?
Yeah, but could you imagine a NINJA death star? The rebels would never be able to find it until it was already too late. if they ever make a sequel to star wars (which I’m sure could NEVER happen) that’ll be how the empire beats the rebels.
hahaha…it would have been difficult to be a Ninja Death Star…hahahaha…
I have a son between two daughters, and he was much easier to raise. There was no drama at all, whereas the other two could have been in a soap opera with all their nonsense.
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Well, my son is a breath of fresh air after all the drama but of course, i have stupid conversations with my daughters also
I never wanted a daughter because I didn’t want a whiny-clothes-stealing-dramatic-bitch, so I got my wish of 2 boys…and my oldest is a freakin fashion statement who smells like a French whore when he leaves the house and my youngest’s nic-name is Oscar… and if I’m gonna be murdered by flying ninja death stars–or whatever, just let it be painless.
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hahaha…poetic justice i suppose. You don’t always get what you want. I don’t have any girly girls…just a lot of drama. Especially between the two of them.
Sooo funny! I have two little boys and getting any serious information from them is impossible. Loved the dialogue.
Hahaha…he says the most ridiculous stuff to me
Oh, the things I am missing out by not having boys.
Yeah…girls are fun too
Your post as usual is hilarious. I love my girls, but, I missed out having a boy as well! The “no drama” would have been interesting. Also my husband would have enjoyed a child interested in discussing sports…!
OMG…Daniel and Kevin sit around and discuss sports all the time. I’m usually quite invisible around here. thanks for the comment
“And I never get sick. My immune system is like GOD!”
He’s such an optimist!
He was sick all the time for about four years. After all those ear infections cleared up, he’s been sick maybe once. Butvyeah, he’s ridiculous!