This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i share snippets

Having a boy after having two girls has been an entirely different ballgame.  First of all, Daniel never has the same level of panic over schoolwork that both of my girls did.  Second, the complete and total lack of social drama is astonishing and third, engaging Daniel in any type of meaningful dialogue is seemingly impossible and trust me, I’m pretty damn good at dialogue.

 

Kevin and Daniel never seem to have a problem; they simply begin with sports and take it from there.  I, however, have no such talent therefore conversations are sporadic and dare I say it, unusual.

 

So, without further ado, here are some of my snippets with Daniel:

 

 

Me:                 How’s your arm?

 

Daniel:            It’s fine.

 

Me:                  But I thought you got hit badly with a lacrosse stick at practice?

 

Daniel:            I did.

 

Me:                  I don’t even see a bruise.

 

Daniel:            That’s because my PLATELETS ARE BEAST!

 

Me:                  Yeah, you don’t seem to bruise.

 

Daniel:             And I never get sick.  My immune system is like GOD!

 

 

And another that took place at Daniels conference:

 

 

Me:                  What’s the first class we’re discussing?

 

Teacher:         Ceramics.

 

Me:                  Anything to say about Ceramics Daniel?

 

Daniel:            I AM A MASTER POTTER!

 

Teacher:         It’s true; that’s all he wrote under his ceramics section.

 

Me:                  Why do I come to these conferences?

 

 

And lastly this:

 

 

Me:                  Daniel, why do you always drop your Rainbows right in front of the refrigerator?

 

Daniel:            (no answer)

 

Me:                  I could have killed myself by tripping over your flip flops.

 

Daniel:            That’s an unusual method for suicide.

 

Me:                  I wouldn’t be committing suicide.  You would have killed me by your flip flops.

 

Daniel:            Well then, that’s an unusual method for murder.

 

Me:                  That’s now how I want to be murdered.

 

Daniel:            How do you want to be murdered mom?

 

Me:                  By one of those Ninja Death Stars in the throat.

 

Daniel:            Ninja Stars.

 

Me:                  What?

 

Daniel:            A Death Star is Star Wars.  Those are just Ninja Stars.

 

Me:                  Are you sure they’re just called Ninja Stars without a cool name?

 

Daniel:            I’m sure.  Google it!

 

Me:                  Well, at any rate, I’d like to be murdered by a Ninja Star to the throat.

 

Daniel:            OK!

 

 

So you see, these are the types of conversations I keep having.  No wonder I’m slowly going insane.

 

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18 Comments

  1. myevil3yearold
    April 25, 2011

    I had a boy first and I thought , “Hey, this parenting thing is easy.” Then, I had my daughter. There was a lot of crying, hair and pink involved. It took me a while to get used to it.

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      the difference, especially as they hit middle and high school, is UNBELIEVABLE

  2. Lady Estrogen
    April 25, 2011

    I AM A MASTER POTTER! – love it.
    Ninja Stars, Crossbows… you’ll developing quite the imaginary artillery there, Auntie Lynn.

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      Well, i spend my life pretend karate chopping and killing people…always have even before kids so you can imagine the types of conversations that always go on. I’m constantly preparing for when i’m an assassin which is why i wanted to be a CIA agent, ya know?

  3. Bill
    April 25, 2011

    Yeah, but could you imagine a NINJA death star? The rebels would never be able to find it until it was already too late. if they ever make a sequel to star wars (which I’m sure could NEVER happen) that’ll be how the empire beats the rebels.

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      hahaha…it would have been difficult to be a Ninja Death Star…hahahaha…

  4. Matty
    April 25, 2011

    I have a son between two daughters, and he was much easier to raise. There was no drama at all, whereas the other two could have been in a soap opera with all their nonsense.
    Matty recently posted..Child SafetyMy Profile

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      Well, my son is a breath of fresh air after all the drama but of course, i have stupid conversations with my daughters also

  5. Pamela D Hart
    April 25, 2011

    I never wanted a daughter because I didn’t want a whiny-clothes-stealing-dramatic-bitch, so I got my wish of 2 boys…and my oldest is a freakin fashion statement who smells like a French whore when he leaves the house and my youngest’s nic-name is Oscar… and if I’m gonna be murdered by flying ninja death stars–or whatever, just let it be painless.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..I KNOW Im NuttyMy Profile

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      hahaha…poetic justice i suppose. You don’t always get what you want. I don’t have any girly girls…just a lot of drama. Especially between the two of them.

  6. Jennifer Probst
    April 25, 2011

    Sooo funny! I have two little boys and getting any serious information from them is impossible. Loved the dialogue.

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      Hahaha…he says the most ridiculous stuff to me

  7. Jessica
    April 25, 2011

    Oh, the things I am missing out by not having boys.

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      Yeah…girls are fun too

  8. Margaret
    April 25, 2011

    Your post as usual is hilarious. I love my girls, but, I missed out having a boy as well! The “no drama” would have been interesting. Also my husband would have enjoyed a child interested in discussing sports…!

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      OMG…Daniel and Kevin sit around and discuss sports all the time. I’m usually quite invisible around here. thanks for the comment

  9. Daybreak
    April 25, 2011

    “And I never get sick. My immune system is like GOD!”

    He’s such an optimist!

    • Lynn
      April 25, 2011

      He was sick all the time for about four years. After all those ear infections cleared up, he’s been sick maybe once. Butvyeah, he’s ridiculous!

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