This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i should be a spokesperson


I was in a Pilates class the other week with one other woman, Ellen, who is also a regular like me.  The instructor, Amanda, was getting ready to start the class when we had the following conversation:


Amanda:         you guys ready?


Me:                  remember that lady in the class a few weeks ago?


Ellen:              she was really good


(we were talking about a person who took a class with Ellen and I a few weeks previously.  Now I’m 53 and Ellen is a bit older but this chick was in her 30’s I’d say.  At any rate, she was in incredible shape and of course, she was AWESOME at Pilates even though it was her first time.)


Me:                  it was ridiculous


Amanda:         what was ridiculous?


Me:                  she was better than me and I’ve been coming for years


Amanda:         well, she was in very good shape


Ellen:              yeah, she had a great body


Me:                  I haven’t looked like that a day in my life


Amanda:         she used to be a dancer


Me:                  all you former dancers and your pointy toes and perfect bodies


Amanda:         she hasn’t been back since though


Ellen:              really?


Me:                  probably my fault


Amanda:         how so?


Me:                  I explained to her that I used to have a body like hers before I started doing Pilates


(huge silence)


Amanda:         no you didn’t


Me:                  no I didn’t.  But wouldn’t that have been funny?


Amanda:         probably not


Me:                  I could be an anti-workout ad.  Don’t work out every day or else you’ll end up looking like me!


What do you think? Should they hire me? Probably not.

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  1. Jester QUeen
    March 5, 2013

    Ahahahaa! That is just fucking hilarious, especially the part where they tried to believe you!!
    Jester QUeen recently posted..Screaming in small capsMy Profile

  2. Julie
    March 5, 2013

    Hysterical! Demand a six figure income!!

  3. Mayor Gia
    March 5, 2013

    Hahahha that’s a quip!
    Mayor Gia recently posted..Doctor, Revisited: A Slightly Better ExperienceMy Profile

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